\u201cI saw you a few days ago, you know, when you were talking to that other demon, Santa Claus or whatever his name was. I told my husband that you are both worthless as rocks and bricks if not worse, and as disgusting as that karmic sludge he\u2019s transforming. And look at you now. I\u2019m astonished at your progress, if you can even call it that, and not a nuclear blast.\u201d, Shakti smiled at Azazel.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m honoured to finally meet you, Mother\u201d, he smiled back. \u201cAnd as for that conversation, I actually share your opinion on its nature, as well as its participants; in fact, it was that very conversation that motivated my radical change of course, as I became disgusted with myself to the point where I would rather risk getting impaled on Lord Shiva\u2019s trident, than look at myself as I was\u201d, he frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cI see angels in Heaven frozen in shock from the sight of your transformation\u201d, Shiva sipped his coffee and smiled at Lord Zee and Lady Kay. \u201cThey are completely unable to understand what happened\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich makes me wonder, really; it\u2019s not like we did something that was out of the realm of possibility for those others. We talked to you and Lady Lakshmi. We paid attention. We thought about it and what it meant. We observed your persons and actions. We adored and admired you, and we loved each other. We did literally nothing else\u201d, he scratched his chin. \u201cSo how the fuck is what we did exceptional in any way?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the trick, Zee\u201d, Lord Vishnu joined the conversation. \u201cYou did nothing else\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean, my Lord?\u201d, asked Lady Karuna.<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean it in a very literal sense. It\u2019s a large world with billions of beings. You know what literally all of them do? They get to know each other. Then they talk, compare experiences, meet more people, talk to them, and after you\u2019ve done it with a billion people, a billion years passed\u201d, he grinned. \u201cThey talk about philosophy, they practice making artefacts, they make music, they explore complex relationships, they try out all sorts of energies. Some even meditate or worship the Gods\u2026 among other things. But you two, you did literally nothing else, and you focused on it with your entire beings. The results were extreme and instantaneous\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut wait, I can\u2019t believe that those other angelic beings haven\u2019t been informed of the same things we were. It\u2019s implausible that we were the only ones you told that thing about the accretion of soul stuff and the kalapa<\/i> fountain in the heart, and the veil between the Absolute and the Relative becoming permeable and eventually letting go completely\u201d, Lord Azazel protested, looking at his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cIndeed. Whenever there are new souls there, and that doesn\u2019t actually happen that often, one of us sits them down and explains the fundamentals.\u201d, Shiva confirmed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d, Kay asked wide-eyed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd nothing.\u201d, Shiva shrugged. \u201cThey nod, store it for later use and forget about it. They think about all the things that await them in that new beautiful eternal world they arrived in. They think about all the friends they are going to make, about all the things they want to talk about, or do. They have all the time in the world, of course. They are in no hurry. They are Eternals, they are Angels. Or they think what we said doesn\u2019t apply to them, at least not now, as they are; maybe later. Or they think it\u2019s a good idea, get excited about it theoretically, but they don\u2019t actually do anything. And so on\u201d, Rudra took another sip of coffee and grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy mind fails to process this degree of complacency and reversal of priorities\u201d, Azazel slapped his forehead as if trying to jump-start his brain. \u201cHow can anyone be such a fool as to have the means of apotheosis given to them by a God in person, and then waste time fucking around and talking about the colour of shit or whatever it is they do?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shakti giggled. \u201cI like his thinking\u201d, she winked at Shiva, who wisped her a box of chocolates.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you do get it now, yes?\u201d, Shiva looked pointedly at Azazel and Karuna.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean, the problems and stagnation you talked about, regarding Heaven and the Eternals?\u201d, Kay asked shyly.<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly\u201d, confirmed Lord Rudra. \u201cThey aren\u2019t exactly going anywhere, or even seeing a reason to. As far as they are concerned, they have arrived. They are fine. That\u2019s how things are \u2013 there are four Gods above them, they are enlightened and eternal, and what\u2019s left there but talk about music and philosophy?\u201d, he mocked.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am trying to understand how they are different from those retards in the astral nursery, that third or half or whatever that just sits there and grazes like a herd of damn sheep\u201d, Azazel made a disapproving gesture and sipped coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey are blue\u201d, added Lady Lakshmi, to which all giggled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey are indeed blue\u201d, nodded Vishnu. \u201cWhich is why that Jewel of mass destruction, harmful and terrible as it is, looks like the only way to reshuffle that place, unless we resort to nuking it altogether\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cAn interesting concept\u201d, Zee was deep in thought. \u201cThey don\u2019t feel like doing what you advised them, thinking it\u2019s merely something Gods do, and it doesn\u2019t apply to them, not realising that the Gods became so by doing exactly that, and then continued doing it because what the fuck else is one to do, other than the best thing there is?\u201d, he grumbled. \u201cBut when that insane maggot Sanat Kumar offers them a trap that\u2019s meant to turn them into slaves, fertilizer or his worshippers, because all glory to the One and Only Creator of the World, I guess, or formulates it as a challenge for them to irk their egos, they\u2019ll throw themselves head first into the wood chipper with full enthusiasm\u201d, he finished as lightning started sparking from his eyes, to Kay\u2019s endless amusement and a fit of giggles.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut look at it this way, my love\u201d, she suggested, \u201cAnyone who gets into that honey pot will actually have<\/i> to change their thinking and make actual spiritual progress in order to get out, and the alternative would be getting destroyed, rather than being eternally safe. If you\u2019re in a dangerous environment where everything is trying to either enslave or kill you, you don\u2019t have the luxury of sitting in a metaphorical sofa for a zillion years discussing the difference between two shades of blue\u201d, she grinned and blew blue flower petals at her eternal love.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess some people literally need the hard way\u201d, he smiled at his bride. \u201cOr, alternatively, the blue sheep will turn into blue hamburgers\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me remind you that destruction of eternal angelic beings is still a tragedy\u201d, Lady Lakshmi frowned, not amused by their jokes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI apologise, holy Mother of Beauty and Fortune\u201d, Zee bowed and smiled at her. \u201cHowever, isn\u2019t it a tragedy from a position of the unmanifested brahman<\/i> that only six people in a zillion years out of how many billions qualified candidates actually bothered to claim it as themselves?\u201d, he countered.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe does have a point, my love\u201d, answered Lord Vishnu. \u201cIf they don\u2019t have a true desire for God, could anyone remind me what exactly would be the point of their eternal existence?\u201d, he looked around, as if truly asking.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeeee!\u201d, bleethed Lady Shakti cynically, and everybody did their best not to spill coffee or turn the table over in fits of laughter, with only some of them actually succeeding.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid that the formerly safe existence as an eternal sheep is suddenly going to become much more precarious\u201d, nodded Lord Shiva. \u201cAnd we will have to wrap up that bloody mess and clean up after ourselves, my darling wife\u201d, he warned.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh goody\u201d, she rolled her eyes. \u201cCan we at least do it in some tropical paradise, sipping cold peach tea?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about a genocidal war zone?\u201d, Shiva grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cTypical\u201d, Shakti grinned, and the rest of the girls giggled.<\/p>\n
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\u201cI saw you a few days ago, you know, when you were talking to that other demon, Santa Claus or whatever his name was. I told my husband that you are both worthless as rocks and bricks if not worse, … Continue reading