\u201cThis wasn\u2019t supposed to be possible\u201d, Azazel whispered into his wife\u2019s ear. Like all couples, they held onto each other as all Heaven was mourning. Nothing else mattered.<\/p>\n
Kay nodded. \u201cA soul of her type should be immortal. She was made of dark blue vajra<\/i>. Absolutely pure, without inclusions, without discolourations. No karmic debts, no imperfections, only kindness, dedication to her duties, good deeds, devotion to God. In fact, she would have been an obvious candidate for becoming a Goddess\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe did everything right. She did exactly what one is supposed to do. She did everything you or I would have done. How is this even possible?\u201d, tears stained his face. \u201cYou are supposed to die if you really, really fuck up. Like, sell your soul to Satan, give Satan the Jewel, something of that order. I knew her. She was kind, smart, funny, dedicated to her work, compassionate. Exactly the kind of a person you\u2019d want as your friend. I don\u2019t even want to think how Azrael and Hypatia feel. I\u2019ll know soon enough because we have to go there and comfort them as much as we can, but they must be devastated\u201d, he sighed. \u201cWhy did God do this to her? Set her up with a partner who would kill both of them. Why?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause Carol had free will. He could have persisted, reacted like Berfrid had. It would have been a wonderful love story with a happy ending. But if there was no free will, no possibility of a love story ending up as a terrible tragedy, what would any of it matter? Oh, we ended up happily ever after, the way everybody always does; yawn\u201d, she attempted an unconvincing smile. \u201cThat\u2019s the problem with that damn world and the one who made it, and we knew it. Everybody is acting as if incarnating there is a normal thing, a way to evolve quickly. The problem is, it can end badly\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is the worst tragedy that ever happened, to my knowledge, and I\u2019m significantly older than dirt. We had souls that made very bad calls and got wrecked or killed. We never had a situation where one did that, and took a perfectly pure and innocent angelic person with them. Tell me what happened with her, how was it possible, what\u2019s going to happen next?\u201d, he whispered in quiet exasperation.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a reality-breaking paradox. I will try to map what happened, but I\u2019m currently in a state of shock and grief, and that\u2019s messing me up. I\u2019ll try\u201d, she sighed.<\/p>\n
\u201cTheir fates are forever bound. Sanat Kumar killed him, dismembered his soul and used it to power his damned attractors. She felt nameless dread and a sense of doom as this happened, and as the knowledge connected, the crystalline structure of her soul shattered and she died. They are now both dead, but I don\u2019t think that\u2019s all. Her death caused something terrible in Reality; death of such a perfectly innocent person on a steep upward spiritual trajectory is a reality-breaking paradox, as it is not supposed to happen, ever. Even Christ\u2019s death on Earth, sufficient to tear a permanent hole through it, wasn\u2019t this much of a paradox, as it was merely a physical thing. Death of a perfect crystal of vajra<\/i> due to no fault of her own, merely because her spouse made a fatal mistake and died, I need to see what actually happened there. They are both gone, there\u2019s no sense to it. It is truly the greatest loss and the greatest tragedy we\u2019ve suffered, and I wish I could say some magic is going to happen and everything is going to be fine and God is going to revive her, but we truly lost her. As for the karmic equations, Sanat Kumar is in the clear for Carol. He was offered an option and he made a wrong call. But I feel there\u2019s more to it\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cFrozen out of Time\u201d, he whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe bought him, but not her. She is perfectly innocent, and yet she reached out for him in her love and grief and she died. She couldn\u2019t have saved him because he made a fatal decision of his own accord, but she could go with him. But since their fates are bound, and Sanat Kumar can\u2019t bind her to anything, she could freeze her husband in some state of Eternity, since it is her inalienable claim. She can\u2019t claim Time. She can\u2019t get him back because he lost himself to Sanat Kumar, but Sanat Kumar can\u2019t really do anything with him since her claim to him has seniority \u2013 God gave him to her first \u2013 and, unlike Sanat Kumar, she is an Eternal. His claim to the Jewel is in Time\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe broke more than her own soul. She broke the world itself\u201d, she whispered. \u201cShe bound him in Eternity so that he couldn\u2019t perish in Time. But while Sanat Kumar lives, his claim will persist and bind them both. But what will happen as he dies? Will someone inherit the claim? Carol is bound to that world as a power source for some evil, but cannot be consumed by it because he is fate-entangled with his perfect wife, and she is karmically invulnerable. That was Sanat Kumar\u2019s decision. So, once that world and its structures are dissolved, what is left of him will be released, and she bound it to her own Eternity so that it cannot perish in Time. Will we see them again, when that world ends? She wasn\u2019t shattered by the forces of karma<\/i>, but by her own pain. She should reassemble as the cause of her pain disappears, but can she pull him back together as Sanat Kumar dies and his lease on the Jewel ends? This is all above my pay grade, and I\u2019m not sure we\u2019re not deluding ourselves\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s say we are not. If we\u2019re right, is it possible that God saved Carol by binding him to her before his fatal decision?\u201d, he was reaching hard, and he knew it.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe got those extra jewels that were supposed to enforce her soul against the adverse effects of empathy, from Lord Shiva, just yesterday, because she\u2019s a Judge. Those things are serious God-level magic, and they are supposed to prevent being harmed by things very much like what killed her. And she\u2019s not exactly supposed to be dead because Eternity binds her together, because of what she is. And her fate is bound to her husband. And I see that she did multiple big favours for Azrael and Hypatia, and those things are God-level obligations. She should be held in Reality by both her own perfection, magic of a Primordial God, and obligations to her by two Gods. Not to mention that the entire Heaven is crying for her. That\u2019s some serious power there, of the kind that creates tulkus<\/i> of the Gods. It\u2019s possible that we\u2019re reaching because it\u2019s some stage of grief and we won\u2019t let go, but there\u2019s some objectively God-level stuff there, in addition to an unprecedented situation. Carol\u2019s allegiance to Sanat Kumar is an anchor in Time. Can they persist in stasis until it passes?\u201d, she mused.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know what we\u2019ll do next\u201d, he nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cTalk to Father?\u201d, she smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood girl\u201d, he kissed her hair.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cWow, you kids really did your homework on this\u201d, Shiva nodded. \u201cLet me see if you\u2019re right\u201d.<\/p>\n
He opened his palm and his sight turned inwards. \u201cWow. You did stumble upon something. The karmic equation would be that God owes her one because he basically did this to her in answer to her innocent prayer. Also, multiple persons of God owe her favours, as she\u2019s just that kind of a wonderful person that always stepped in to save the day when someone had a hard time. And she had my enhancements active, and you are right about those. They can stitch a grieving God together just fine. And she is immortal since she is sinless and faultless. And she is fate-bound to her husband. Which means that the obvious conclusion would be that God did the providence thing and arranged this so that Carol would be saved, and she would get a very large bonus afterwards. But the price is, she is frozen in this soul-destroying agony until Sanat Kumar dies and his claim to the Jewel ends. There\u2019s a lot of \u2018ifs\u2019 in the whole thing, and I can\u2019t just time-jump and retrieve them, since he\u2019s anchored in Time. It\u2019s a pickle. Still a fucking tragedy, to be sure, but there\u2019s a justifiable hope that it will end well. Let\u2019s see what we can do to improve the odds\u201d, he looked at his wife significantly, and she nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe tears and obligations of the Gods. God\u2019s obligation, providence and justice\u201d, he murmured as he weaved a spell; Shakti closed her eyes, and golden fire danced across both their fingers. \u201cGrace is of God\u201d, he whispered. \u201cCarol is of Grace\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cHer claim is older\u201d, Shakti whispered. \u201cFounded upon God\u2019s providence and justice, and her devotion, which is the nectar of Eternity\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cFree will has consequences\u201d, Shiva nodded. \u201cBut they are to a timely being and in Time. Her claims are eternal, and she belongs to God\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cFinal verdict has been reached\u201d, they whispered in unison. \u201cGod\u2019s will be done\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cGuys, we have good news\u201d. Azrael and Hypatia looked up at the smiling Gods, not understanding.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs it turns out, being everybody\u2019s favourite angel, being sinless, perfect and having everybody including the Providence of God owing you one has its advantages\u201d, Kay giggled.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave the two of you gone insane from some \u2018refusal to accept reality\u2019 part of the grieving process?\u201d, voiced Azrael.<\/p>\n
\u201cInitially\u201d, Zee nodded. \u201cBut as it turns out, me being the Blade of Discernment, and her being the Mind of God, together we kind of pack a punch. We figured out some complicated, super convoluted stuff, ran it by Lord Shiva, who decided that it\u2019s worth a shot, and he and his blessed Lady Goddess did some magic of the kind they did when they made the world, and the end result, we\u2019ll see Grace again. It\u2019s just that we have to wait until Sanat Kumar\u2019s lease on the Jewel expires, and Father rips him to shreds as he promised\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, you are starting to make some marginal sense. But you\u2019ll have to actually explain this from the beginning, using words, not big brain shorthand\u201d, Hypatia nodded. \u201cOur minds are not in the best of condition at the moment\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry\u201d, Kay giggled. \u201cLet me walk you through it\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
Carol was frozen in a state of terrible agony. He regretted his foolish decision as soon as he made it, but then it was too late. Satan commanded his soul to be bound to some evil thing of the world, impaling him onto it like a worm to a hook, and he felt as if his life energy was depleted in order to power terrible godless sin, making it beautiful and attractive.<\/p>\n
But then he felt a presence. It was not new; he started feeling it weeks ago, as if some sense that things are going to be fine if he holds on and has faith, which he dismissed as nonsense, as nothing was ever fine in his life. But this now was different; more concrete, as if someone was holding him together. Things didn\u2019t get better, but they also didn\u2019t get worse. And the Presence was something that felt as belonging, eternity, and some kind of love like he never felt \u2013 the fatal kind that you feel when you die for someone, and it was completely real. And he could bet, without any reason or evidence that he could point to, that it was female. And she was frozen in mortal agony, because she lost him before she ever found him, whatever that meant.<\/p>\n
And he thought, if someone cared for me this much, if that were real, I can live through this nightmare, for as long as it takes, if I see her on the other side.<\/p>\n
\u201cI really fucked this up\u201d, he thought. \u201cI wish I could have a second chance to put this right\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cThis wasn\u2019t supposed to be possible\u201d, Azazel whispered into his wife\u2019s ear. Like all couples, they held onto each other as all Heaven was mourning. Nothing else mattered. Kay nodded. \u201cA soul of her type should be immortal. She was … Continue reading