\u201cI was wondering about what you said\u201d, Shankaracharya addressed Augustine. \u201cThe part about limitations being a good thing. It feels completely counterintuitive if one knows that God is freedom.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod is indeed freedom\u201d, Augustine smiled. \u201cBut God is also freedom from all things that are not God, do you agree?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI do\u201d, the man nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlso, we can split freedom into two distinct aspects: freedom to, and freedom from. The first part can be further analysed into desires and ways to achieve them. But let\u2019s say I\u2019m already doing what I want to do. I\u2019m married and I love my wife, I love my friends and I love God. The only freedom I desire is the freedom to continue doing what I\u2019m doing now. I don\u2019t want a freedom to kill my friends, hurt my wife and offend God. In fact, my freedom consists of being free from those things, which is the other aspect of it \u2013 freedom from things that interfere with my will and choices. So yes, I have all sorts of limitations, but they are here because I want them. Those limitations are an intentional expression of my freedom\u201d, Augustine concluded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI cannot disagree with your reasoning, and yet, something in me wishes to point out that freedom from limitations should be a superior form of freedom\u201d, Shankaracharya shrugged in confusion.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I understand why that is. You see soul as a limitation upon brahman<\/i>, that needs to be removed in order to achieve true enlightenment. I, however, see soul as a set of defining characteristics that allow for the manifestation of brahman<\/i> in the relative. Those defining characteristics are, by definition, limiting. They are choices for something and against something else. By removing those limitations, you remove things that define you as a person. If you remove the walls from a house, you don\u2019t get to be free from limitations; you get to be homeless\u201d, Augustine argued.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, what you are saying is that our limitations are our structural elements, the way walls and roof are to a house?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIndeed\u201d, Augustine nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut wouldn\u2019t you agree that extending a house would be preferable to keeping it small? And if a big house is preferable to a small one, wouldn\u2019t removing the limitations of a house be preferable still?\u201d, Shankaracharya pressed on.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe analogy to extending a house would be extending your heart so that it becomes capable of feeling more and deeper. The correct way to do it is to embrace deep relationships with other Gods, which means including more structures, rather than tearing them down. This way, God expands from what you as a person are capable of, to what you, your wife, family and friends are capable of\u201d, Augustin nodded. \u201cI am God. However, my wife and I together are more God than either of us alone\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, if I understand you correctly, the way to remove limitations the right way is to gradually extend the lattice of enlightened God-persons bound by deep connections, where it encompasses the entirety of the Relative, rather than removing the structural elements of personality, seeing them as obstacles, since they are limiting?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly. The difference is, to stay within our analogy, between tearing down your home which leaves you homeless, and connecting your home with the homes of your family, until everything is home\u201d, Augustine nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cInteresting. So, we are comparing subtractive and additive approach to removing limitations. I was using the subtractive one, thinking that there is some positive limitation that stands in the way between soul and enlightenment, and by removing that limitation you approach the understanding that your soul is in fact all there is. You, on the other hand, argue that the problem isn\u2019t something positive, that exists, but lack of something \u2013 lack of love, depth, connection, which needs to be established in order for spiritual emancipation to be possible\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cIndeed. For instance, my main spiritual block, that kept me stagnant for a thousand years, was lack of connection with my wife. I overcame it not by removing things, but by reconnecting with her. Then I became more\u201d, Augustin explained. \u201cI could have removed this or that, and it would have achieved nothing\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt sounds frightening to bind your enlightenment and spirituality with another person in this manner\u201d, Shankaracharya mused. \u201cI thought whether I have a true wife somewhere, but after seeing what happened to Lady Grace, I was honestly too scared to even think about it, let alone ask God to lead me to her. What if she is dead? What if she is deeply enslaved somewhere? What if she needs untold years to be ready?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt only becomes frightening if you are ready\u201d, Augustine replied. \u201cWhen I was not ready, I was even able to part from her. I didn\u2019t die, I just\u2026 stopped making true progress. The lesser the soul, the more superficial the connection. If you took some astral being and told them their destined spiritual partner just died, they wouldn\u2019t even care. It is a testament to Grace\u2019s immense spiritual magnitude that she cared so much about a husband she never even met, that she just died on the spot. It\u2019s not weakness. It\u2019s a sign of true readiness, and she is the best of us\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf fear is an indicator of readiness, then I must be truly ready\u201d, Shankaracharya laughed. \u201cBut this understanding that apotheosis is not something you do by removing worldly attachments or something, but something God does because you become someone who enables him to express the inner connection of brahman<\/i> in the Relative, by connecting to others, it\u2019s a hard thing for me to swallow, because it makes spirituality look like a team sport, and I\u2019ve always been a solitary player\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlso, you got accustomed to understanding enlightenment as something that is centred around you\u201d, Augustine nodded. \u201cIt\u2019s something you do. It\u2019s a self-realisation. It\u2019s a renunciation of limits to Self\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd how do you understand it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn part, it is indeed the death of your own stubborn foolishness. At least it was thus for me. When I accepted Christianity, when I met Hypatia here, when I was reunited with my wife. Every time, shackles of my stubborn foolishness fell off me, and I was more. When I met Hypatia, it wasn\u2019t just me, it was looking into her and feeling what it must be like to be her. It was something enormous, bigger, better. It was the same with my wife \u2013 also, looking into another person that is enormous and great, with the difference of knowing that this awesome person is mine, of free choice. It\u2019s like getting a gift of doubling yourself at once. I\u2019m telling you, for a man, knowing that you came to a point in your spirituality where a Goddess desires you, and none but you, and the point where God responds by claiming you as self because he wants to be that person so that he can love that Goddess properly, that is something else\u201d, he smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd so, if I acknowledge that I want this, will I be doomed?\u201d, the man smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the wrong question. The right question is, will you understand that you are doomed without it?\u201d, the God replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean, am I at the point where I would rather die with her, than continue living forever without her; the way Grace did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIndeed\u201d, Augustine nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I think I am at that point. And it is scaring the living daylights out of me\u201d, Shankaracharya admitted. \u201cI just lost control of my destiny, irrevocably. I\u2019m feeling her somehow, and I\u2019m feeling the change, and it\u2019s frightening\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want her, even if it meant your death?\u201d, God asked him solemnly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u201d, the man answered.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen allow me to introduce you. Lady Hypatia just finished with her judgment and orientation tour; and it is obviously no accident that you came to talk to me just now. May I introduce you to Zeb-un-Nissa, Shahzadi of the Mughal Empire; the most powerful and beautiful female mind of the Islamic world\u201d, he waved his hand and Hypatia shimmered in, with another woman in tow.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease, tell me you are joking\u201d, the angelic woman shivered like a leaf. \u201cThis must be a bad dream. Please, let me wake up\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis must be how poor Augustine must have felt when he came here and saw me. Although I must now admit he took it pretty well, all things considered\u201d, Hypatia smiled. \u201cI\u2019m opening you a knowledge bank on Muhammad\u2019s life\u201d.<\/p>\n
The woman\u2019s eyes lost focus for a moment, and then regained it. \u201cBut that is not at all what I believed in, or prayed to\u201d, she managed to stutter.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it is not. Like all great souls born in the Muslim world, you created an elaborate deception for yourself, so that both your body and your spirit would be protected. You managed to memorise all that nonsense and blend it in your spirit with your most subtle feelings and visions. You didn\u2019t read what it was, you read what you needed it to be. Had you allowed yourself to see it for what it is, you would have been summarily beheaded for rejecting Islam. So, instead, you assumed it must be the most subtle religion, and you made it into one. You survived, you loved God, but a part of your mind had to be sacrificed. I am retrieving it for you now\u201d, Hypatia made a subtle hand movement, and the woman\u2019s eyes lost focus again.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you mad at me?\u201d, she said sheepishly. \u201cI mean, for being such a coward, and rejecting truth for the sake of my own survival and comfort?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I\u2019m not mad at you, sweetheart\u201d, Hypatia hugged the woman. \u201cYou did the best you possibly could. You survived. You were a great person. You maintained spiritual purity. You just needed to put a part of yourself to sleep in order to do it\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I feel like a traitor\u201d, the woman whispered. \u201cMartyrs sacrificed their lives rather than compromise with the truth, and look at me, being such a good Muslim that I memorised the entire Qur\u2019an. I want to hide in some dark corner out of shame before God\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are before God, and I\u2019m telling you it\u2019s fine\u201d, Lady Hypatia smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut it felt so real. All the religious ideas, the Divine Beloved, everything\u201d, Zeb-un-Nissa sobbed. \u201cDid I make it all up in my madness, like Muhammad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Your feelings and ideas mapped upon actual realities; you just gave them islamically-correct labels\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, that was my survival mechanism, you say? I did it so that I could both meditate on the actual God, and survive Islam?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u201d, the Judge nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is the actual God like?\u201d, the woman asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know that already\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know what you mean. All the intimate stuff, the spiritual connection, the promise that made you refuse to marry because you promised yourself to Him forever, which is how you ran afoul of your father. You think it was all in your head, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u201d, the woman wept.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have seen that we Gods exist in couples, yes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, what if I told you that the person whose presence you felt is in fact your true husband, the one you are meant to live together with in eternity, worship him as your God, and be worshipped by him as his Goddess?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would suspect that you are cruelly jesting with me, but then I would remember that you are too good a person to be so cruel with a poor distraught woman, and I would then dare to hope, because that would be the fulfilment of all my dreams\u201d, the woman whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is your lucky day, my Lady, because this is truly so\u201d, the Goddess smiled at the woman. \u201cHe just made his decision to rather die with you than live alone forever, and the Lord who teaches him is calling for us\u201d. She took the woman by the hand, and they shimmered out.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cAdi Shankaracharya? The most highly revered sage of India?\u201d, the woman stared at him, incredulous. Augustine and Hypatia gave each other the look and shimmered out to give them privacy.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt your service, my Lady\u201d, the man smiled. \u201cAlthough, knowing what I know now, I would have chosen some significantly less flattering titles for myself\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd after what Lady Hypatia told me about Mohammad and Islam, believe me, there is no chance in the world that you could be more embarrassed by your misapprehensions, than I am by mine. I am positively mortified, and so ashamed of myself, I could crawl into some dark corner and hope never to be seen by anyone good or smart, although at the same time I am glad that nobody seems to hold it against me, and they are so very kind\u201d, she smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cTruth has that quality of making us all humble\u201d, he smiled back.<\/p>\n
And then it clicked for her. He was the Presence. The one she thought to be Allah, the Divine Beloved, the one she projected upon and interweaved with everything she ever heard about God, and she fell to her knees and embraced him, without words, her tears wetting his feet.<\/p>\n
He lifted her up and looked into her eyes. \u201cWill you be my wife forever, my Lady?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI already promised myself to you decades ago, and kept myself for you alone, my beloved husband\u201d, she smiled. \u201cIt is time for me to come true on my promise\u201d.<\/p>\n
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\u201cI was wondering about what you said\u201d, Shankaracharya addressed Augustine. \u201cThe part about limitations being a good thing. It feels completely counterintuitive if one knows that God is freedom. \u201cGod is indeed freedom\u201d, Augustine smiled. \u201cBut God is also freedom … Continue reading