\u201cYou\u2019re angry\u201d, Harry noticed. Lyra was actively fuming. Her emotions were always clear and easy to read, and now she looked like she wanted to strangle something.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not merely angry. I\u2019m furious. That abominable umpire cheated us of two points, and I don\u2019t even know what our Keeper was doing. I\u2019m going to beat him into a pulp. We lost to Hufflepuff. Can you imagine that? Hufflepuff! When we lose to you, there\u2019s at least some dignity in that. This is a humiliation\u201d.<\/p>\n
Putting it into words made her calm down somewhat. He took her sweaty hand in his and just held her. Her breathing gradually calmed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you. For letting me be angry. I needed that. And thank you for being here for me and holding my hand. I feel better\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure. I might do the same next time we lose\u201d, he smiled. \u201cEven if we lose to you. Although, whining to you about losing to you might feel humiliating\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, I will like that\u201d, she snickered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure you will. But believe it or not, I might like it as well. It makes defeat hurt less when the scary girl you lost to lets you hold her hand\u201d. He looked her at her silver eyes and watched her cheeks go pink. \u201cBut let me ask you something. Why do you play? Is it just winning? You don\u2019t have to answer if it\u2019s too private\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it\u2019s ok. I like winning, of course. I like flying; especially fast, avoiding obstacles, navigating in space, where there\u2019s danger of crashing into something and the stakes are high. I like the excitement, the adrenaline. I like spreading my focus wide, and still observing the details. I like the unpredictability of getting the snitch. It makes me feel like a predatory bird in the air, hunting a canary or a sparrow. I like feeling like a hawk or an eagle, parked in the air, seeing everything, hunting, ready to launch myself at the target\u201d, she smiled widely, and her hand felt warmer as she was happy. \u201cHow about you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s quite similar for me. I like the speed, the risk, the excitement, the adrenaline, the independence of playing my own game, making up my own strategy and rules, feeling in charge, hunting. I also like outsmarting the other seeker, seeing the snitch first, ending the game on my own terms. Also, my father played, and when I win, I like to think I\u2019m making him proud. Losing sucks, though\u201d, he shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow do you feel when we play against each other? Losing to me. Beating me. I\u2019d like to hear how it feels\u201d, she looked into his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s weird. I like competing with you, because you\u2019re scary good at everything, and if I win, I have a feeling that at least I beat you at something, and you won\u2019t think I\u2019m a boring loser. But when you lose, I\u2019m afraid you\u2019re going to feel bad and I don\u2019t want you to feel bad. I\u2019m never letting you win on purpose, though. That would be disrespectful\u201d, he smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you. I don\u2019t particularly like losing to you either. I like to win at least sometimes, because then I feel like I belong here with you, that we\u2019re equals, that you won\u2019t think I\u2019m useless and weak and hold my hand out of pity. I want you to hold my hand because you\u2019re proud of me, and nobody can be proud of a loser\u201d, she winked.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s strange to hear you say it, because it sounds so much like what I\u2019m feeling. I feel like I have to prove myself in order to be here with you, that you won\u2019t respect me if I\u2019m not competent, sharp, successful\u201d, he nodded in dismay. \u201cI think we\u2019re both insecure about each other, and I thought it was just me\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course we\u2019re insecure. We\u2019re both powerful, competent, dangerous, wealthy, famous and deadly, Harry. We\u2019re not fluffy bunnies. We\u2019re two eagles roaming the sky, predatory and dominant. We could kill each other. I\u2019m not with you because you\u2019re weak, or safe. You\u2019re the only person who makes me feel insecure, makes me have to prove myself and earn my place. I hold your hand because I like the feeling of the most powerful, deadly boy I know holding my hand and being gentle. If it makes me feel like I have to earn the right to be here, I will earn it\u201d, she smiled.<\/p>\n
He kissed her hand slowly, respectfully. \u201cYou are really something, scary girl. I have never met anyone like you\u201d.<\/p>\n
She gasped and closed her eyes. \u201cNext time you lose and vent, I\u2019m kissing your<\/i> hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMight be worth it. Having the scariest girl in the world kiss my hand would be quite something\u201d, he grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t lose just for the experience, though. It would be a shame\u201d, she drew his hand towards her lips, closed her eyes and kissed it. He closed his eyes and shivered. \u201cWow\u201d, he gasped.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me how it felt\u201d, she whispered, eyes still closed.<\/p>\n
He paused, collecting himself. \u201cI\u2019m not sure I have the words. It feels like we exchanged the deepest mutual respect I ever felt with another person, and I know Dumbledore. This was deeper. Lyra, if a war breaks out, we\u2019ll be in the opposing camps. Fighting you would be like trying to kill my mother, were she alive, or Dumbledore. I feel like I\u2019d rather let you kill me than fight you. We\u2019re not doing a good job being enemies\u201d, he smiled painfully.<\/p>\n
\u201cWars come and go. People change allegiances. This stays\u201d, she smiled. \u201cAnd yes, if we ever get to fight in a war, I\u2019ll let you kill me\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
Harry winced at the memory. A few years later, he would be holding her bleeding body on the bathroom floor and begging for her life. And why, because he was a fool and wanted to try something with some safe girl, who\u2019s not a scary enemy. It gave him nothing, and cost him everything. Or almost. He needs to ask.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cYou\u2019re angry\u201d, Harry noticed. Lyra was actively fuming. Her emotions were always clear and easy to read, and now she looked like she wanted to strangle something. \u201cI\u2019m not merely angry. I\u2019m furious. That abominable umpire cheated us of two … Continue reading