I was thinking about something for the last few hours; about what strikes me as the most important things about Gods, their mutual relationships, and the nature of heaven.

Religions speak about God’s love, but love is a word I don’t like because it means whatever anyone wants it to mean, and most of it is something I don’t like at all. Sure, it can mean putting yourself as a shield between those you love and harm. It can also mean the state where you feel good. Or it can mean some hedonistic, selfish nightmare. Rather, I’d tell you a few stories from the Hindu scriptures, about Gods.

For instance, the way Shiva calls Vishnu his Divine Guru, or the way Vishnu calls Shiva the Great Lord, and how when they talk about the other behind their back they can’t stop singing praises to the other one – how he’s magnificent, transcendental, omnipotent, omniscient, and wonderful, they’ll tell stories about how the other one saved them or did some magnificent deed nobody else could, and so on. Once Shiva got in a pretty big fight with his wife, because she heard him praise Vishnu and then wanted to test Vishnu to see what that is all about because she didn’t believe it could be true. The level of respect they all have for each other is absolutely insane, and when there’s talk about Divine love, I don’t imagine unconditionality or any such thing humans would think of; rather, I feel this level of respect. Each praise the other above all, they marvel at each other’s feats and achievements, and if they want to match them it’s not out of envy or competition, but out of admiration. If one needs to go to hell, the other will volunteer to go with him to watch his back. None of them is ever alone, because the other one is his shield and his sword.

That’s what heaven is like, and what relationship between two different persons of God is like. The Christians talk about Father, Son and the Holy Spirit, but this imagery doesn’t resonate with me. Other persons of God illustrate what I feel much better, for instance when Krishna thinks Rukmini got a bit conceited he pranks her by telling her what a loser he is and that he’ll leave her and go to the forest to practice austerities; and then she simply passes out from shock. Then he gets scared for her, apologises and tries to wake her up, and when she does, she praises him endlessly and the undertone is “don’t mess with me like that because you’re my whole life”. The second undertone is that she might be just a bit conceited about him loving her more than anyone else, but beneath that is the unimaginable level of connection, sincerity and depth that surpasses anything usually called love. That’s how a female person of God feels about her male counterpart. It’s the level of devotion, connection, trust, respect and adoration that makes those two a Divine dyad. When some idiot brahmana thought it was a good idea to test how sattvic the Gods are, first he insulted Shiva and then Shiva got pissed and his wife had to stop him from killing the dumbass. But when he went on to insult Vishnu, Vishnu merely smiled, but his wife was not amused and cursed both him and his entire line to never have happiness and fortune. Nobody is insulting her man. To that, Vishnu just smiled again, in a sense, yeah, actions and consequences, those tend to go together. Fuck around, find out. As Christians would say, offend the Son, and he might forgive you, but the Father might not, because he loves his son and you’re not fucking with him. One God might forgive you, but his buddies and wife are watching you and they love him more than you can possibly imagine, and you’re just so incredibly fucked. Pray to one of them because you dislike the other, and that one you’re praying to will make sure that people who want to find you need to take a shovel to hell in order to dig you out. Offend Vishnu and Shiva will make a battle flag from your hide. Offend Shiva and Vishnu will make sure you eat all the shit in the world before you’re forgiven. That respect, which is the manifestation of real, Divine love, is what heaven is made of. The Gods have each other’s back. They look out for each other, they watch over each other’s best interest, and they praise each other behind their backs endlessly.

Conversely, hell is the opposite. Hell is disrespect. Hell is where demons and evil souls slander and diminish each other, where they look for weaknesses and sins to exploit, where they betray each other to their enemies and laugh, and so on. In Heaven, Gods each praise the other as the ultimate and supreme, while demons in hell diminish others and tell them they’re worthless and sinful and they need to die in their sin.

I keep hearing human idiots talking how heaven is boring, and hell is one big party. No, that’s not what it is. Hell is a nightmare where your peers will stab you in the back and laugh at you with your other “friends” while you bleed, mocking you for your foolishness and trust. Heaven is where Gods worship each other’s greatness and if you want to hurt one of them, you will need to go through all of his friends to get him; where you can’t attack one while he sleeps, because his friends stand guard, and they never, ever have anything better to do. Catch one at a point of weakness, only to find out that it’s protected by either his friends, his wife or both. Slander one to praise the other, and have the one you praised that way punish you. Heaven is a place where Gods are bound by connections of such immense love, trust and respect, that you can’t even imagine it if you didn’t feel it firsthand. Hell, on the other hand, is a party of the kind where everybody will laugh at your expense in the most hurtful and damaging way possible, and each of those laughing will stab the others in the back as soon as they sense any weakness.

Your choices in life will, of course, determine which “party” you will join.