Nothing extreme seems to be going on, but I have a feeling that “something” is around the corner and things might quite suddenly go to shit, so I’ll write down what I think makes sense to do.

Spiritual preparations

From what I can tell, the last warning was given around this time in 2020 – get your affairs in order, acquire and keep spiritual detachment from this world, orient yourselves towards God, basically live as if this might go on for a long time, and yet be ready to leave at any moment. When the warning was given I had the feeling that what follows will be a relatively long period of “nothing”, which will make people not take the warning seriously, and then the lightning will strike in an instant, and then they’ll whine that they haven’t been warned. Apparently, you can’t win – if you issue a warning and the event you’re warning against follows quickly, they whine that they haven’t been warned early enough to do anything constructive. If you warn them early enough, they laugh at you and say that obviously nothing happened and you’re deluded.

Financial preparations

You already know what I’ll say here – keep all savings in form of physical gold and silver. Ensure that you have access to it and that it isn’t kept in some building with armed guards who will keep you from entering in a crisis. Don’t trust the system – the banks and the states will conspire against you. The corporations will obey the laws, and the laws will be made by the people who couldn’t care less about you. Keep as much money in the bank as you need for the monthly liquidity; bills need to be paid and you need to be practical about it. Also, keep enough cash in case the banks become defunct, but not too much – cash is a necessary intermediary step between banks not working and you having to resort to gold and silver for expenses. My rule of the thumb for cash is always keep at least 200 dollars or euros per person, and don’t exceed the amount you need for food, fuel and medical expenses per month. This is not even that much of a “prepping” advice, it’s a common sense thing, because the credit/debit cards are known not to work occasionally and you need to have backup. Any kind of debt might become fatal, in the sense that if the banking and financial system becomes defunct, you will not be able to service your debt, but the banks and the states will conspire to simply take your collateral without even asking for your input in any way. Some kind of emergency measures will be taken and everybody will get fucked, except for the rich people in power. They will do the fucking.

Physical preparations

Shelter, food, water, medications, hygiene products. Try to stock up on things you need that might become unavailable if foreign trade is disrupted – detergent, soap, toothpaste, toilet paper, and so on. Try to have everything you need to keep in touch with family and friends in case of emergency – at an absolute minimum, a smartphone, charger and a battery pack to keep it working in case of a prolonged power outage. Keep a “return home safely” backpack ready and take it in your car whenever you go far enough that you would have a problem if you had to return home on foot in case of a total traffic collapse. Keep spare bottles of drinking water in your car – it costs you nothing to have them there, and it won’t go bad, so it’s cheap insurance. If you have multiple residences, keep a cache of food, water and other stuff at each location. Keep your car ready at all times. The absolute minimum you must be able to endure with your cache of food is two weeks; the absolute minimum of drinking water supplies should be two days, if you can rely on the utilities working. In any case, do the best you can. I am aware that if the water and electricity are permanently disrupted, it’s game over, and having your own off-grid water and electricity supply is just not an option for most people. However, assume that what you have locally will keep working, and whatever is sourced remotely will be unavailable, so stock up on that well in advance, while the prices are still normal. As for the gadgets, having computers behind an UPS that filters power is recommended; having a radiation dosimeter that is able to detect alpha and beta sources, in order to check if food and water are safe, is great. Having a battery-powered radio to be able to hear the news in case of an emergency combined with a power outage and Internet failure is good, but you probably already have one in your car. Having a quadcopter drone in order to be able to see from a high vantage point and check the surroundings out of your line of sight is useful. Having a bicycle that will give you mobility in case there’s no fuel for the car is very good. Absolutely have at least one battery powered flashlight per person, and a cache of both rechargeable and alkaline batteries at each residence. Having a garden where you can grow some food is great in case of a prolonged collapse.


The point of preparations is to return to God with your soul in good condition, and to avoid as much of misery, suffering, destitution, starvation and other joys of material existence as possible before that.

About human conceit

Years ago, I noticed a very strange and ugly aspect of human psychology when I talked to people, especially the Americans.

They are inundated by constant ads attacking them from all sides; everybody seems to want something from them. Everybody who sells anything seems to want their money. Political parties vie for their vote. Religions are competing for their souls. It’s as if there’s a cosmic battle where angels and demons, and in fact God and Satan fight for them as a prize.

As a result, they seem to find themselves in a position similar to that of a teenage girl, who all of the sudden realises she’s the centre of male attention, and it seems that every man in the world wants her. On one side, it’s extremely intoxicating, and one can develop quite an ego, but the smarter ones among them realise that it’s not about them at all, that men would just want to use them for sex and abandon them, and so they develop a defence mechanism against all that predatory attention, and they also develop cynicism and bitterness about the whole thing. The not-so-smart are in more of a pickle, because it’s a dangerous combination to have someone without any particular qualities believe they are ultimately desirable and a centre of everybody’s attention. The very smart ones very quickly understand that they are in fact the ones with a problem, because the apparent abundance of choice only masks the fact that their choices are all bad, and they are in a position where they are dying of thirst, and everybody is offering them a drink, but none of it is water. Those very smart ones are commendable in exact proportion in which the stupid ones are contemptible.

What people don’t seem to understand is that all those who vie for their attention are the analogue of a lion, a hyena and a vulture, arguing over who is going to kill and eat them first, and in what order. It reminds me of a joke about a young mosquito’s first night out in the world; in the morning, her mom asked her how it was, and the daughter replied that it was wonderful: “All the people loved me, everywhere I went they clapped their hands in applause.”

The spiritual reality is in fact so unpleasant it is understandable why people would prefer the ego-trip of the cosmic battleground for their souls, that religions so incessantly try to sell. Satan doesn’t care about you even if he owns you; you are merely a means to an end. You know very little or nothing about God, and what little you think you know is wrong. To paraphrase Buddha’s four truths:

1. You are in very deep shit.
2. The more you stir it, the deeper you sink, and it stinks more.
3. It is possible to get out.
4. However, in order to get out, you’ll have to understand that everything you know is likely wrong, that you’ve been doing everything wrong for far longer than you can remember, that you’ll have to let go when you most want to hold on, that you’ll need to release when you most want to lash out, and so on. Since everything you know about the world is wrong, everything you’ve been doing had the result of furthering your predicament, and if you want things to improve, you’ll have to do things differently, and in a very fundamental way. You’re not an important person, picking between Jesus and Buddha and nitpicking between them because you’re so important you can’t rush your choices. No; you’re a drowning person, and having a vast sea around you doesn’t mean you have many options. You are utterly and profoundly fucked, and you need to understand absolutely everything in your life in this context, and you need to reach for and hold on to everything that can improve your position even a little bit; hold on to a piece of wood if there’s nothing better, but exchange it for a raft if it appears, and exchange the raft for a helicopter later on, if the possibility arises.

People argue about the first noble truth, whether it means that suffering exists, or that everything is suffering, or that suffering permeates human condition, but the reality is that they are too stupid to understand the simplicity of it, and it’s in fact the fourth truth that they should be contemplating, the one of counter-intuitive solutions to the problems they don’t even understand they have, and re-shaping their perspective in ways that never even crossed their minds. Your emotions are the energy-whirlpools that perpetually recycle because you re-invest before there could be a chance of release. Your desires are projections of fulfilment into a sphere that is inherently energy-starved and needs you to feed it with your soul, and will promote your desires because that’s how it gets you to give yourself to it as food. You desire, and thus give yourself to the world, by recognizing it as a source of what you want. You are frustrated in your desires, so you strike and lash out, thus giving it more importance and energy. After enough iterations, you forget what is it that you were after in the first place, but you keep struggling against all sorts of things, and striving for all sorts of others, and you think you can’t stop because all of it is so important. It’s not. Also, you are not important, and your survival is not important. Nothing you are doing is important. God is important, but what do you even know about God? Less than nothing, which is to say, no actual knowledge but lots of nonsense, which is why Buddha refused to even talk about God. Talking about God is basically useless if you’re not experiencing God at that moment, and if you are experiencing God at this moment, you will utter words of praise, but they will be a consequence and manifestation of the experience, and they won’t matter. Your thoughts and words are merely a re-hashing of your memories and experience, which means they are useless garbage if you’re not experiencing God, and if you are experiencing God, they are noise that detracts. There’s one thing that could teach people humility in very short order, and that’s to understand how God, saints and angels would perceive them. They would look like clutter, attachments, noise, chaos, weaving of low-order energy in and out of chaotic whirlpools of thought-emotion, illusions of all kinds, ignorance of everything real and important, susceptibility to all kinds of falsehoods and lies, and all of it so far from God, that almost nothing in your entire existence is real and valuable, because God is where everything real and valuable is. You are darkness, ignorance, sin and nonsense dressed up as self-importance and false purpose. To the Gods, you look and feel worse than dog shit looks and feels to you. The best you can hope for is that they will see you and cry tears of compassion for your misery, feeling the pain of your kind of wretched existence, and in seeing their pain you might get some glimpse of its cause and thus have darshan of God. To think that God loves you and fights for your soul is the epitome of conceit and ignorance. No – you would first have to develop a soul by being in God’s presence, because that’s how it’s developed, and it’s developed by surviving the immense blissful joy that is of God, by releasing the non-God from your existence so that only God can be, because nothing else is worth keeping. When you actually develop a soul that way, you will understand how stupid every idea you ever had about reality actually was. No, God is not fighting with the Devil for your soul. You are the one who should be fighting to grasp every tiny aspect of God you can reach, feel and know, and hold on to it as if your survival depends on it, because it does. Without God, you are less than shit, because unlike yourself, shit can actually be useful. It can make roses grow. Being shit would actually be an upgrade for most people, because most of them are like toxic or radioactive waste that creates a zone of death around itself. Spiritual growth is not realizing you’re valuable and everybody wants you, and then giving your super-important soul to God. No, spiritual growth is realizing you’re a barrel of toxic waste on some dump, that needs to be contained in order not to spread death and destruction, and, understanding that, strive to become shit by feeling whatever aspect of love, beauty, purity and knowledge you can touch. When you become shit, strive to be food for the roses, so that there is beauty and purity because of you, and when there is purity and beauty, understand that it is God who is doing his thing, removing the non-God things, and the more you are of God, and less you are non-God, the more you partake in beauty, bliss, knowledge, reality and all other unspeakable forms of magnificence that lie in the direction the lesser beauties and truths point to.

It’s not about you. You don’t matter. God matters.

Fake dharma

I had a “pleasant encounter” with a global “script” last night, and I think some of it might be worth sharing because it’s universally relevant.

There’s a list of “spiritually impure” things that are supposed to be forbidden by God and doing them is supposed to represent a sin, which makes a soul impure before God and inadmissible to heaven, or something along those lines. Everybody seems to know the list – don’t steal, murder, fuck outside of wedlock and so on. Looks completely common sense, until you think about it.

Because, you see, you can diligently avoid doing all those prohibited things for your entire life, and be a spiritual midget. Also, you can do all those things at some point in your life, and be a great saint. Take St. Augustine for an example – if I remember correctly, he lived with a woman out of wedlock, even fathered a child with her, but then his family didn’t condone the relationship so she was quietly sent away. This is by no means a good or a moral thing; I mean, sending her away. However, regardless of what one might expect, the man was a great saint. St. Jerome, the translator of the Bible, probably the smartest man of his time alongside St. Augustine, had homosexual encounters in youth, which troubled him greatly later in life, but is remembered as a great saint. St. Paul persecuted the Church in its early days and is likely responsible for many deaths, and is a great saint and the most important person in the history of the Church beside Jesus. Jesus constantly broke this or that silly “commandment”, including stealing wheat from someone’s field during Sabbath; he also instructed his disciples to obtain swords, and as a result one person was injured. Krishna stole, killed and had sex, and yet He was God. Milarepa practised black magic and killed many beings, and yet he was a great saint.

So, if having “sinned” doesn’t seem to preclude spiritual greatness, and being “sinless” doesn’t create holiness, there’s something seriously wrong with the very concept, and I think I might know what.

You see, this list is the concept of sin that is created and maintained by Satan, and is specifically enforced by the laws inherent to the very structure of this world. In the real world, sin is s different thing; sin is a state of consciousness that resists and rejects God. This state of rejecting God can result in evil actions, but the opposite is in fact possible – a person aligned with the will of God can perform actions that could be qualified as sinful, but this is not in fact the case, because it doesn’t matter what something looks like, it matters what it actually is, in its true nature. If something results in holiness and manifestation of God, it is obviously not sinful. If something results in spiritual vacuum and boredom, it can obviously not be aligned with God, and is thus sinful by definition.

Interestingly, some of the worst people I know didn’t murder anyone, didn’t steal anything as far as I know, and you wouldn’t find any items from the “black list” on their record, yet they hated God wherever He was present, and they are sin incarnate. On the other hand, all the greatest people I know did all kinds of shit at one point. I’m not saying one should see all actions as permissible, but there’s obviously more to holiness than keeping score against some list of prohibited actions. That’s why I called my spiritual system “darshana yoga”. Find God first, then align your actions with That, and keep the goal present on the path. Notice the conspicuous absence of any detailed instructions, and lists of prohibited and recommended specific actions. Basically, if you’re a living presence of God, as long as you are able to maintain that during any action, I don’t care what you do.


I’m recovering from a bad case of flu (most likely of some covid variety); nothing terrible, but not great either. I’m still not able to perform physical activities anywhere near the level prior to the disease, because I’m running out of oxygen on physical exertion. It’s getting better, but I have to give it time.

I’ve been thinking about many different things during this period, so I’ll summarize.

The price of precious metals is showing interesting signs; of course it’s controlled, but since the price has been moving within a very narrow band, and the prices of other commodities have been showing signs of significant inflation, the result is that the precious metals have been “on sale” recently, with the result that the central banks, and possibly other large entities, have been buying up physical metal at those discounted prices, and the divergence between the paper market and the physical market is increasing. The controlled paper market is showing no interest in gold and silver, while the physical market is showing large demand by the big players. The expected result is that the big players will completely exhaust supply in the short term, and this is without the general population even registering what is going on.

The pictures from Ukraine are increasingly showing snow and frosted ground, but this varies regionally, and some places are still a muddy quagmire. One of the worst places is Kherson, apparently, which seems to be one of the reasons why the Russians abandoned it – it’s an indefensible mud pit. The other reason is something I can only guess, but it seems that a significant percentage of the population there, around 20% or so, are aggressively pro-Ukrainian, and this could be seen in the referendum results too, because the Ukrops didn’t go out to vote. It seems that the Russians concluded that they can’t defend Kherson city with that much of a fifth column behind their backs, and they withdrew most of the pro-Russian populace and left the others to experience the joy of what is Ukraine at the moment – meaning, no electricity, no water, no heating, but plenty of vicious hatred. They also recently banned the Orthodox Church, because it was deemed pro-Russian. Of course it’s pro-Russian; it’s the Church. You can’t but be pro-Russian in these circumstances, unless you hate God really badly.

The Russians are routinely running out of missiles every Monday. The Ukrainians, on the other hand, seem to be running out of men to throw into the meat grinder, but that doesn’t seem to matter to anyone. Ten killed Ukrainians for each killed Russian seems to be a price America and the EU are willing to pay. The EU is running out of resources, energy, and time, but don’t worry, if your high-tech job is terminated, you can always go to America, like people did after WW2. Also, since there no longer is any availability of Russian gas, the American freedom gas will now cost much more than it was advertised for prior to this entire artificial crisis, but that’s free market for you, and it’s the best thing, right? The fact that this entire thing benefits America greatly is of course accidental. Just kidding.

Another interesting thing is that nobody seems to be thinking about God. That is quite weird, because in the past, during the hard times of this kind people tried to invoke memories of transcendence, but now there’s nothing. Only low-energy symptoms like anger, rage, hatred, schadenfreude, desire to harm the physical bodies of others, thinking this is the worst one can do, and the end to all. The old maxim that there are no atheists in the trenches apparently needs to be corrected – there are now. I’ve seen many terrible things during my life, but this one is among the worst.

Godlessness is the greatest sin, both in the sense that all other sins derive therefrom, and by definition, where sin is the state of separation from God’s will and presence. It’s the state of spiritual emptiness, devoid of God’s energy that by its nature seeks more God, and wishes to praise Him. I think this is why “хамство”, which the Orthodox Church sees as the greatestt spiritual problem, crosses my mind recently as the closest description of what I seem to perceive – arrogance, rudeness and sarcastic glee with which evil people seem to be compelled to communicate, or they just can’t manage anything better. It is, of course, a symptom of life devoid of God’s light. When all you see is darkness, misery, weakness, evil, lies, blood and dirt, your mind and behavior reflect that, because that’s what they do – reflect that upon which they dwell. Lack of God is an emptiness that devours itself in darkness, and screams viciously at others, that they are worthless and it is so great and enlightened. I’ve seen much of this lately, and I instinctively turn my eyes from it in disgust. All of this experimentation along the thesis of how great things can be and how great souls can be if only they didn’t know about God and didn’t perceive Him in any way, produced a terrible, abominable disaster, of a very predictable kind. There is an alternative to God, and it looks like Ukraine. It’s also known as hell. Хамство, hatred, schadenfreude, vindictive and sarcastic glee, desire for murder, desire to reduce others to mere flesh and laugh insanely as it is all mixed with mud in death, that is the alternative to God. People are somehow convinced that “sin” is fun, that it’s about doing all the fun forbidden things that boring people and boring God don’t allow them to, but no – sin is Ukraine. Sin is an arrogant emptiness, where human flesh is interchangeable with money and mud, and everything is a hopeless, desperate darkness of spirit.


Letting go

I think I can now properly explain why I think my old approach to spirituality was flawed, and why I replaced energy work and “shaktipat initiations” with theoretical explanations across several fields.

To quote myself:

“When I think about the limits of quantitative growth, the necessary conditions are in the ability to extend one’s ability to feel others, and the “cracks” and “discontinuities” in one’s spiritual body are usually due to faulty ideas and beliefs that basically limit what you feel you’re allowed to do, and what is “right”. Also, there is a real possibility of having your mind so open your brain falls out, so to speak, and by feeling compassion with someone who is wrong, you lose your own correct perspective and adopt the wrong one, and if you’re not skilled at juggling multiple viewpoints, you might actually degrade your spiritual body instead of expanding it, so that would be counterproductive. “

Basically, if one is close to actually being able to need and use spiritual help, the problems they would be having are of the kind that can be solved by abandoning faulty ideas and learning how to think, feel and let go of things properly. The energy part usually takes care of itself, but the increase in energy puts pressure on the “fault lines” within one’s spiritual body, and this creates the need to change one’s worldview and intellectual framework, and it’s useful if you’re shown how to do it. The worst cases of energy-related problems were in fact caused by refusing to let go of ideas that formed energetic blockages, and things can get really bad if you’re that stubborn – not letting go of Christ, Bible, Vedanta, materialism, Buddhism, your sinfulness or whatever it is you think you know for certain. One needs to allow God to rebuild his knowledge and beliefs, instead of having fixed points that anchor you to a certain place, creating energy blockages that are, fundamentally, opposition to allowing reality to sink in, because you love your placeholders too much. Allowing God to rebuild you means letting go of everything you think you know about God, because all of this is quite obviously false, because a non-enlightened person can by definition have no good ideas about God, because good ideas are all “pointers” to directly perceived realities, and a non-enlightened person has only the “plastic placeholders” in places where God should be, and those placeholders need to be removed in order for reality to sink in. God is infinitely better and more sophisticated than your religious ideas, and that is true regardless of your religion, so you need to become spiritually flexible, but not to the point of being an idiot. It’s a skill one needs to learn, and bad ideas in this area are great hindrances to spiritual growth. So, there you go.