As Lord Shiva walked into their coffee lounge, his wife instantly ran towards him and threw herself into his arms wordlessly. He just smiled and held her for a time, and then they looked at each other, and he took her by the hand as they joined the others.
Shiva approached Vishnu, hugged him and whispered: “Thank you, my Lord. It helped”, as Vishnu clapped his back and smiled.
“I see you are stronger”.
“Somewhat”, Shiva grinned back. “It was a big motherfucker”.
“Language, please; there are children at the table”, Lady Lakshmi smiled, as Zee and Kay rolled their eyes.
Krishna smiled, then his smile froze, as his eyes defocused; then he smiled twice as brightly. “Guys, you won’t believe what just happened. Mahadev, you’re back just in time”, he grinned at Shiva.
“Judging by your tone, I assume it’s not another broken angel?”, Lakshmi prodded her husband.
“By your grace, oh Luck, it is not”, he grinned and kissed her. “We have two new additions to the family”, he smiled widely, and snapped his fingers.
Lady Zina and Lord Buddha appeared from the shimmer in space, and everybody was instantly around them.
“I’m so proud of you”, Shakti whispered in her daughter’s ear as she hugged her, and tears went down Zina’s cheeks.
“So, you’re the guy who managed to figure out the particle theory of karma, called Sanat Kumar by the name while there, or close enough, got initiated into vajra while incarnated into that stupid gel, formulated entire theory of detachment and divestment, and became a God half an hour after getting back here, simply from talking to my wife and daughter? It’s a great honour”, Shiva grinned at Buddha, shaking his hand and pulling him into a mil-spec hug.
“And you are the guy who just ate a super-demon for brunch, after reconfiguring the Creation the day before?”, Buddha hugged him back. “I am honoured to meet you, Sir”, he smiled.
They all sat at the coffee table. “You know that stuff you’re drinking isn’t really coffee, right? I had coffee on Earth, and it’s bitter and yukk”, Zina frowned from the memory. “We had to put all kinds of stuff, like milk and honey in it, to make it even marginally palatable. This stuff is incredible, however. Tastes like the love of God”, her smile widened.
“We know”, Vishnu smiled. “We just call it that”.
“So, Zina, Lord Buddha, what are your plans?”, asked Lady Parvati. “Are you together or…?”, she winked.
They looked at each other wordlessly, and held hands. “If you approve”, bowed Buddha. “I don’t know what we are, but I see her as my gurudevi, who taught me and guided me to greater wisdom. I never want to be separated from her.”
“I liked you since I first saw you, Prince Siddhartha”, Zina joked. “Now I adore you. And cut out the gurudevi business, please. If we’re doing this, I want to be a proper wife to you”, she curtsied to him and smiled as he hugged her.
“I officially call you husband and wife, then”, Lady Shakti smiled and hugged them both. “So, in danger of repeating myself, what are the plans for the future?”
“I want to continue serving as a Judge of Karma, that is if my husband and Lord approves”, Zina bowed to Siddhartha Gautama.
“Not only do I approve, but I would request Lady Shakti’s permission to join you. It is a most praiseworthy and compassionate job, and if you see me as worthy and qualified enough for it, it would be my honour to join your daughter there”, Buddha bowed to his mother-in-law.
“You are slightly over-qualified, but we need all the help we can get”, Parvati smiled and nodded, and his Title changed accordingly.
“This is quite fortunate, as we seem to have new arrivals”, Lord Shiva raised an eyebrow.
…
“So, you two were away for what, an hour, and not only did both of you become Gods, but you also got married, and Lord Buddha is now working here with us?”, Azrael scratched his head.
“She became a Goddess first; I was so amazed with her that I just followed suit”, Buddha kissed his bride’s hand and smiled.
“It’s too bad I didn’t bet any actual money on it, because I just knew it”, Azrael laughed. “Oh well. At least we have the most praiseworthy addition to the workforce”, he bowed.
“And I hear there’s been some new arrivals?”, Buddha bowed back. “And what exactly is the procedure?”
“Yes; you’ll see quickly enough. As for the procedure, it’s simple. The normal souls need compassion, healing and knowledge until they are well enough to be placed in the astral Earth, the place where you sat with Zina in that apple orchard. There they can think things through and see what they want to be and do next. Then there are the corrupted ones, the criminals who caused the normal ones to be traumatised; rapists, murderers, bandits, warlords, clergy. They are the actual problem, as one would want to rehabilitate them too, but they need to be really seriously sorry, not just fake it to evade the consequences. That’s where your legendary bullshit detector comes into play. Basically, if they are thoroughly corrupted and evil, throw them into the astral jail, designed exclusively for that purpose, and we’ll see what to do with them at some later point. Maybe they change, maybe we return them to Earth, see what happens and revisit. If all other options are exhausted, someone will wipe them out and purify the karmic mass, but that part is out of our hands. In case of the most terrible demonic beings, and we only had one so far, we call the Gods to deal with them”.
“Sounds good to me”, Buddha nodded. “So, basically, we treat them compassionately, but not beyond the limits of reason and good taste?”
“Exactly”, confirmed the Angel of Death. “In any case, it would be cruel to let loose any unrepentant criminals among their victims and thus traumatise the poor souls further. That’s why the brig is there; hold them separately, revisit, think of solutions and treatments at a later date, and in the worst cases, flush”, he shrugged.
“And by the worst cases, you mean …?”, Buddha raised an eyebrow.
“People who would make the normal devils want to escape hell just to get away from them”, grinned Azrael, as Buddha laughed, and Zina held him close. “You didn’t see Uriel, or at least what he became, and be thankful to all the Gods that this is the case. I still have nightmares”, he shivered.
“In any case, I have the two of you to rely upon until I get the hang of it”, nodded Siddhartha.
“Speaking of which, here we come”, Azrael pointed.