I found a new trend on the Internet – the Harry Potter fans are going crazy over the concept of a gender-swapped Draco Malfoy. Apparently, a spoiled crybully little shit is suddenly hot if it’s a cute looking girl. The idea is, the Malfoyette is still the same nasty shit as in the books and movies, but eventually as Voldemort turns on her family she and Harry have a rivals-to-lovers arc and end up married.

At first, my reaction was sure, why not, it could work. The second reaction was, well, despite all the pop culture and fringe forum lore on the Internet, boys don’t actually like the girls who bully them because they are too cowardly to be feminine with them. It’s actually a red flag for boys, because you never want to have that at home. A person who’s too cowardly to talk to you directly about how she’s feeling, and instead attacks you, blames you, makes your life a living hell in hope you’ll somehow figure out what she’s actually thinking and being too cowardly to admit, and you’ll magically take charge and make everything great, because that’s what a true man would do – and of course while you fail to read her insane mind, she keeps telling you how much you suck as a man.

As I said, women like that are a red flag. Men who marry them always regret it, because no amount of hot can fix crazy. Also, bossy women are a thing in Lesbian and beta-male circles, but normal men find them horribly unattractive – they are basically men with boobs, and we’re not into men. So, the Malfoyette, or Malfoid as she’s called online, would be a double red flag for Harry. He’s into a combination of kind, loving, straightforward and competent. He can’t stand cowards who can’t state their mind clearly, isn’t into double-faced games, and is actually superficial in a sense that he accepts things at face value. If you tell him you hate him, he’ll accept that you’re an enemy. If you smile at him and are polite and friendly, he’ll appreciate you and be your friend. He won’t bother cutting through seven veils of nasty, hostile, bullying, cowardly and deceptive to discover that a mean girl actually likes him. So, won’t work.

However, then I thought of the third layer and decided why it could actually work. You see, you can’t just gender-swap a character and have them be realistic. That’s the delusion of the LGBT ideologues – that women are just men with different sexual hardware that were brought up to “present female”. That’s nonsense; women are a completely different thing, and are brought up as a completely different thing because they are, and people used to be reasonable enough about that, but today it seems to be a radical idea for some stupid reason. Sure, the Malfoy girl would be brought up to believe she’s special because she’s the sole heiress of the wealthiest pure-blood wizard family. However, that’s exactly the thing – they are pure-bloods. When they have a child, they start planning marriage within other pure-bloods when the child is still in diapers. Malfoys would be strategising around whom she should marry before she could walk. The only candidates would be other pure-blood and wealthy half-blood families. The Weaslies are pure-bloods, but also poor as dirt. They hate them on principle. The Blacks have no heir; the family endpoint in the male line is Sirius. Lestranges have no children. Crouches have no children. The best options for their daughter would be Neville Longbottom, Cedric Diggory and Harry Potter. Of those, Harry Potter is the wealthiest, most famous and most reputable. His wealth is probably a close third, behind the Malfoys and Lestranges, and he later inherited the Black family wealth, bringing him to a close number two. They would see him as an obvious choice, and not as a family rival which was the case if they had a son. In either case, the child would be brought up hearing things that indicate either family approval or disapproval of other families and their heirs, and Malfoyette would keep feeling approval of Harry Potter. Sure, they have their Death Eater nonsense and pure-blood supremacism mixed with everything, but their girl would be subtly steered in the direction of those three boys from early infancy.

So, everything else would work similarly; she’d be a spoiled little shit, only in a skirt, and she’d try to make friends with Harry and antagonise his other friends, and he’d see her for what she is and politely tell her to piss off. That rejection would make her pride go ballistic and they would become rivals in everything and she’d try to make his life miserable for rejecting her. It would actually work better than with Draco, who feels like a gay little shit when he does it. Men don’t actually act like scorned girls when other men reject them, they shrug and don’t give a fuck.

Also, she wouldn’t be named Draco or Dracona or some similar bullshit. She would be named according to some other constellation that sounds feminine but regal. Lyra, Andromeda, Cassiopeia. Lyra actually sounds most likely since Andromeda Tonks already exists and Cassiopeia sounds hard to pronounce. See how that works? You can’t just gender-swap a guy to a girl and have everything remain the same. Everything is different. So, the Malfoyette gets to be Lyra Malfoy. Sure, she gets to be a pompous, entitled little shit, but she would be brought up to be a feminine, dignified, entitled little shit – the Malfoy princess. Harry would find that supremely unattractive and would hate her guts, so one would expect the rest of the books to be the same, with the rivalry, mocking and all, but I wonder whether that’s realistic, since this girl would see it below her feminine dignity to compete with a boy trying to get his attention and approval. Sure, her pride would be hurt, but she would go about it some other way. The quidditch rivalry would likely be the same, but she would be unlikely to just go and bully him for attention. Possible, but unlikely. What would be different is that her parents would steer her in the direction of Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory, since Neville Longbottom looked like an insecure loser. She would date Cedric to make Harry jealous, for instance, and would be mad when it wouldn’t work. However, when Cedric gets killed everything would change. She’d get really shaken, and she’d absorb the reaction of her parents who would also be shaken because now, Harry Potter is both the best husband-candidate for their daughter, and an obvious enemy of the Dark Lord, and also her daughter’s school rival. There would be quite a circus around that, and she would feel it, because she’s highly attuned to her family. Also, Harry would feel survivor’s guilt and see her struggling and would be sorry for her, so his feeling for her would change when he sees a vulnerable person under all that armour. Also, later on, when she’s struggling because Voldemort wants her to kill Dumbledore and her family is taken hostage, Harry would be more likely to feel for her, rather than see a threat manifesting. But it would be when she catches her in the bathroom, she instinctively tries to hit him with the cruciatus curse, and he instinctively responds with sectumsempra and essentially slices her body into shreds, and he feels extremely guilty about it, that’s where they would actually connect if Malfoy was a girl. I think they would start secretly dating after she fails to kill Dumbledore and Snape takes over, and they would both be broken from it all, but the death eater family situation wouldn’t be resolved until the final battle, where Harry actually gets support from Draco and is saved by Narcissa lying about him being dead; with the gender swap, they would become a couple at that point, because him and Ginny have as much chemistry together as water and oil.

So yeah, I guess it might work. The thing is, Harry doesn’t actually understand his social status in the wizard community. Sure, he understands he’s famous, mostly for the wrong reasons, but he doesn’t understand how his wealth is perceived. He was brought up as a destitute orphan and instinctively sees himself as the underdog in every situation, and sees powerful people as bullies and assholes. He doesn’t understand that he’s second wealthiest ancient family heir out there. That’s what would make it hard for him to have feelings for a spoiled little princess. However, when the girl in question is vulnerable and all that arrogance and shielding are removed, he would feel protective and that’s when things would happen. Also, her family lost all their standing after the war, although their wealth remained. They barely escaped imprisonment, mostly due to his testimony. They would no longer feel like the enemy – basically, the more powerful Dursleys, which is why he initially disliked Draco; he felt like Dudley. But when he understands that he sliced up a desperate, crying girl who got instinctively defensive with a slaughter spell, I think his self-righteousness and projection would permanently end there and he would see himself as a bully and he wouldn’t like it one bit.

I would rate the concept as possible, but needs work in order to be truly plausible. 🙂