“I’ve been here through two plagues, fall of Rome, schism in the Church, fall of Constantinople, and I’ve never seen such a cataclysm strike Heaven”, Peter gestured in disbelief. “They are usually so collected, peaceful and confident, even when faced with dire adversity. I’ve seen them overworked and tired to the point of dropping from their feet, and they still smiled and comforted people. But when Grace died, it felt as if their inner light died with her. They looked the way you’d expect a child to look if it came home and found its parents murdered. I’ve never seen anything like it, and I hope I never do. Was she so important?”
“Yes, she was, but not necessarily in just one meaning of the word. She was probably the highest ranking angel at that point, and everybody who knows her says she’s an absolutely wonderful person. Closest family to Azrael and Hypatia; they basically lived together for centuries, as parents and daughter. But the reason why everything broke was because of why she died. It was God’s fault. She prayed to God, God set her on a path, and then, due to no fault of her own, her life was ruined and her heart broke. If God could do this to the best of us, what does it say about God’s justice, righteousness, law? Is God merely a more powerful version of Satan, something the Muslims pray to – something that just proclaims laws out of his whims, and can do whatever he wants anyway, because his will is the supreme law, and if he wants to break the best and purest angel’s heart, that’s fine because he’s God? People’s lights went out because that’s not the God they knew, loved and believed in. The most fundamental truth of everybody’s life, that God is the greatest good and the highest virtue, broke. It’s like, God forgive me, Lord Shiva deciding to rape Lady Lakshmi. If that happened, everybody would just die. It’s completely inconceivable and impossible, though; thank God. But people also thought that the holiest of angels, sinless and perfect, dying because she did everything exactly as she was supposed to – prayed to God, performed her duties with highest honour, walked His path, had faith, chose highest love – that it was equally impossible. That just doesn’t happen; and when it did, thank God it soon became obvious what God’s plan was, and she and her husband were saved, because nobody was recovering from that. It was as if Heaven lost colour and everything turned gray, like a corpse. Time can now be marked in eras before the death of Grace, and after her resurrection, when everybody started living again”, Paul explained.
“I met Grace when I came here; she brought coffee for Lord Buddha and myself as he judged me, because it took longer than usual, with him correcting my energetics and teaching me to meditate properly”, Caterina was lost in thought. “She was wonderful. She just naturally put me at ease, explained everything, and she was so kind, intelligent and wise. May God forgive me, but when I heard of her death, my reaction was that I refused to believe in a God who would allow this. It’s just such an inconceivably terrible thing”, she shivered.
“And it was the Will of God for that to happen, I think, because He wanted to show us that we have good reason to have faith. Also, we saw that the world is in good hands, with what Azazel, Karuna and the primordials did together to save her. They didn’t just shrug; they went beyond what everybody thought possible to fix this disaster and turn it into something good. And she was honoured by God later; her heart is now the seat of God’s Will, because she’s God’s most trusted person, with what she did and how she reacted. I would say it is completely righteous”, Peter concluded. “God didn’t just play games with her life. It was a test of trust, and the fact that He gave her that test means He already held her in the most high regard, and when she passed, she was honoured in the highest possible way. I know I’m an ass, Paul. I’ve been envious, jealous, stubborn and foolish, and I treated women poorly, but that woman is my ideal. I’ve never seen anyone display more faith in God, and more virtue and loyalty. I haven’t even met her properly, and I can tell you, I love her more than I love my own life”, he smiled.
“Keep that feeling present in your mind. Breathe it in”, Paul told him with the most focused tone. “Surrender to it without restraint”.
Peter’s form was bliss, and the structure of his soul changed, as the final impurities left him and he crystallised into blue vajra.
“Now I know how Christ felt about Magdalena, finally”, he smiled. “I was truly a beast of a hard neck and ill disposition, but I am finally tamed, by the Grace of God, for now I know what it means to worship God as a woman”.
“Same as Christ, only female?”, Catherine scratched her face in confusion.
“Truly; same as Christ, only female”, Peter confirmed. “I don’t know why I refused to accept it. There’s something foolish in my upbringing that assumes that a woman must always be a step down from a man. It is only now that I allowed myself to accept that she can be on the same step. And it’s so obvious – on every step where there’s God, they are a man and a woman together. God refuses to be male on a step where she also isn’t female, and God refuses to be female if there’s no godly man beside her to worship. ‘So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them’. It is so obvious in hindsight: when God manifests, when he chooses what is his image, it is both male and female, and he outright refuses it to be just one, because it isn’t a complete image of God. That’s what I was missing – the understanding that God needs to be a woman beside a man, in order to be fully God. I would have thought it a blasphemy, and I thus stagnated for almost two thousand years, the stubborn ox that I am”, he waved his head in disbelief. “I am going to talk to Magdalena now, and kiss her holy feet if she allows me, for there’s an ancient wound that needs to heal”.
From 'An old mistake':
Jesus grinned. “The reason why I am mentioning this is because you were simply not in a good place in your spiritual life, where you could really appreciate the deep spiritual importance of your wife, and your environment merely encouraged you in your natural proclivities. She, on the other hand, was not ready for the really deep spiritual place you are thinking of now. It was not the right time for either of you. Yes, you sinned against her when she did nothing wrong and everything right, but even if you hadn’t, the difference between you was too great for you to have been able to establish the kind of a spiritual bond of joint godhood that I have with Magdalena, or what Hypatia has with the Angel of Death, or what Zina has with Buddha. We were all quite close to our companions in spiritual status.
… "
Does this example with Augustine mean that even souls who are not highly initiated can have one specific partner?
Yes. Although, he was a vajra initiate when his wife was an astral being, so she's a better example than he is. However, I kind of assume that before vajra, everybody is still very flexible and can go in all kinds of directions; for the most part, nowhere. I don't think it's a super rigid thing, because making souls for each other very early on would be kind of insane; their sex is hardly even determined, or their spiritual direction; too many options ahead of them. Only much later, as they are profiled and after they had made all the important choices, they basically get profiled into male and female manifestations of God.
Thanks for answer.
Yes, I meant his wife as part of 'Augustine example' considering that they were already connected.
Did I understand correctly, before vajra initiate sex is hardly even determined?
That's not really how it works. In reality, there are pretty large percentages of souls that are completely set in regard to their gender way before vajra. I don't know where's the earliest point where that happens, or the latest, but I have quite an extensive experience with undevelopped souls – demonic entities, lower animals, lower humans – and when I see the soul in isolation, I can't tell its gender. It's simply indistinct, the spiritual properties are undevelopped. On the upper range of the spectrum, with the Gods, the sex of the soul is extremely clear and developped. The females are absolutely clearly female, and males are absolutely clearly male, and they are all different and distinct personalities. Somewhere in between, the soul obviously stops being sexually ambivalent; or, if it doesn't, it either stops making progress or stops existing altogether. Where does that profiling into "white" or "black" branch actually finalise, I can't tell you with certainty. We can see that astral-type humans can have all sorts of plasticity; that all disappears in the higher echelon of spirituality. I also have never seen a Divine being that wasn't perfectly happy with their sex, which is kind of obvious – they are both equally good, so stick with yours, I guess. 🙂 This gender-bending and switching idiocy that's been spreading down here is a completely abnormal thing.
Also, while we're at that, two other things need to be mentioned:
– There are no "strong independent women" or feminists in Heaven. And it's a very decisive zero. It's such a grave spiritual flaw that you end up elsewhere. If you mention feminism or female emancipation to a Goddess… just don't. Bad idea. 🙂
– There are no "rights activists" in Heaven. Those are known as satanists, and they also end up elsewhere. The entire concept of rights is shockingly stupid. Everybody up there cares only about their duties and things they should do to be better. The concept of rights is all about whining about what others should do to fix your situation. People who think like that are badly fucked and there are none in Heaven.
If I understand correctly, there is only one person who is a suitable partner for highly initiated beings. What happens if one of them becomes evil and as such belongs to Satan (not out of desperation but because he agrees with him)? What happens to his partner? Always a bad outcome, accepting the loss or the possibility of finding someone else?
No good outcomes. People are responsible for more than their own fate.