I was just talking to Romana about how one of the fundamental misapprehensions of my students in the early years was caused by their completely wrong understanding of the reality in general and reality of their situation specifically.

They assumed this is the real world – part of the “multiverse” that also contains Heaven and Hell – created by the actual One God, who is good and to whom they all matter to the point where all of Creation is their playground, and of course they will get second chances because that’s the purpose of Creation, to give them as much chances and opportunities as they need to basically run out of bullshit to try, and they are essentially the main characters in this play, where everything else, including me and other beings, is a mere prop whose purpose is to serve their needs. Basically, if I don’t serve their needs well, God will punish me, so I’d better behave.

I don’t know where people get this idea, but it seems to be ubiquitous and implicit. I know Felix helped convince them of this bullshit behind my back, telling them something along the lines of “if not in this incarnation, then in the next”. I was absolutely appalled when I heard this statement, because it’s not just completely wrong, it’s an absolute abomination, the worst possible thing you can think or believe. Considering the amount of damage he created, that guy must have been Satan’s pet, if not an outright avatar.

Their understanding of their situation couldn’t have been more wrong, because trying out bullshit is actually a choice. If they make a strong enough choice, why would they ever get a second chance? Why would there be a next incarnation? Why would their fate not be determined in a final judgment, because they had a choice between me and bullshit, they chose bullshit and that’s it? Why do they think people who choose against God get a second chance, as if God is stupid and doesn’t get it, or as if they have no agency and their choice will somehow be seen as not final? If anything, second chances are for people who chose God and only God, and they ran out of time to become their own “final form” along this choice-vector. Second chances for people who chose against God; what purpose would that serve, exactly? You think there’s a shit eating competition, and those, who didn’t eat all the shit there is, need to get a second chance? Why?

I think the fundamental mistake of religious philosophies is that they always assume that this world matters, in a sense that it’s an important place made by God and they derive all kinds of assumptions from this starting thesis, and none of that might even be remotely close to reality. For instance, if you play a complex video game, Witcher III for instance, and you are completely immersed to the point of thinking it’s the real world, and if you derive assumptions about theology based on your experience within the game, you’ll get all kinds of conclusions except the right one: that it was designed and made by a few Poles who had a blast doing it, and it’s loosely based on some aspects of this world, but mostly on a made up story from a book series. It’s not a real world made by a real God. It’s a n^th order reality, where n∈N might actually be quite a bit bigger than 2, but no less than.

It’s interesting how my early students never actually thought they could catastrophically fail. They thought their options consisted of good and better, of safe and risky, where they had “safe” and I offered “risky”, and risky was also hard and demanding. They thought that saying “no, we’re good as we are, thanks” is a safe option, while in fact it was a decisive “no” to God, after which there would be no reason for further questions. They thought I was merely an option to upgrade the level of satisfaction in their personal playground of a life. They didn’t understand that they were here because Gods had enough of their shit and wanted a decisive answer whether they want to evolve towards God, or are they dry branches to be pruned. They didn’t understand that I, myself, didn’t live in the cozy world they thought they inhabited. I knew I could fail. I already had terrible experiences that showed me how hard I can get wrecked. I had no illusions that God will help me; in fact, I knew I was expected to be someone who helps others; I was the ice breaker that had to cut a line through thick ice, for others to follow quickly before it freezes over again. I myself knew that I was always one wrong important choice away from perdition. I was taking this incredibly seriously, and I was so not fucking around. I told them they don’t have much time, that it’s important that they get their shit together quickly, because the window is going to close. They chose to believe nicer tales narrated by idiots. We know how that ended.

Let’s assume God actually does care about you. You think that love is unconditional? He will love you regardless of what you do, regardless of what you choose? What evidence is that belief based on? God personally told you that it doesn’t matter what you choose because it’s all the same? I don’t think so. The Bible, where every “blessed are those…” is followed by a “woe to…”? Also, I don’t think so. An idea that God is a good and slightly dumb guy who just loves everybody and whose job is to forgive because he can’t help it? Yeah, probably. I never met that guy, however. I think he, Santa Claus and Easter Bunny might have a blast over a beer somewhere, but I never met either of them so I can’t say.

People, you should get your shit together and take this seriously. This is not your personal fuckaroundery. It’s a trap designed by Satan for idiots whose virtue and spiritual allegiance were already questionable when they believed his bullshit, and the fact that you’re in doesn’t say great things about you, unless you are by some chance Biljana, who was conceived without any participation of sin of any kind and is here for me. Even she could fuck up if she made wrong choices here, and the result would have been bad. What does that say about you? If you’re here, and if you’re not taking it extremely seriously, you’re an idiot.

Why do you think God cares about someone? Because you’re super likeable and irresistible? Or because God has a character feature that makes him like everybody, but somehow Hell still exists? How about, he likes you if there’s something Divine in you that reacts to him? Basically, God is simply God, and that aspect of Divinity within you makes you attracted to God and makes you want it, and you interpret that as God loving and wanting you, the way children think that the Sun loves them because they feel good under it, and they draw it with a smile, because it makes them smile? But what if you decide against that Divinity, if you reject God because something felt more attractive? What if that Divinity in you simply discards you as a failed path back to God, and you just wither in your illusions and nonsense? What if choice for and against God are merely physics, like the path water takes from the mountain to the ocean? Basically, seek the point of least gravitational potential; fill lake; then continue falling to the next point of lower gravitational potential, until there’s no lower point to fall? What if failures to reach the God merely evaporate and stop being recognizable souls, and their constituent particles continue circulating in nature until they attach to something with greater potential of bringing them to God? You think failures to reach God have endless right to exist? Think again, because not really. Also, don’t think it’s all about you. God also has free will. In fact, only Gods have free will, because unlike yours, their will is not conditioned with attachments, misapprehensions and nonsense. They have their freedom, and preferences, and you can have all kinds of wishes and nobody is really obliged to give a shit. If you didn’t give a God reasons to like you, they don’t have to. It’s not that anyone is under any obligation to help you, or guide you, or teach you, or save you. Every single Divine being does only what they feel like doing. You think my wife is under some obligation to love me? No. She’s a God-person of unrestricted, unconditional freedom. She feels what she chooses to feel out of complete freedom, and nobody has any right to try to influence her. If you are not someone who makes a God feel that way about you, why do you even think you’d be worth saving? Give God a reason to care about you, and start by being a person other people will care about, because you make them feel appreciated, loved and important. If you can be a presence of God in lives of other people, chances are the Gods will love you and open doors for you. If you can only be hell to other people, chances are the Gods will give you what you worked for.

Everything matters. What you do matters, how you see things matters, how you choose to act matters, how you choose to treat other beings matters, what you accept matters and what you reject matters. It matters who your friends are, and who your enemies are. Whatever you do, someone will always hate you, unless you became such an inconsequential person that absolutely nobody cares about you enough to hate you. You want to make friends of angels and enemies of demons. Of course satanists will hate you if you made good choices and they can smell God on you. Of course good people will feel good in your company if you are a good person. If good people don’t feel good in your company, why would God love you or want to be with you?

If God has no reason to love you or want to be with you, why would you exist in Eternity and not just wither and die in Time? Instead of thinking God must have a reason to keep saving you, try being someone God will want to be with.