“How did it go, Bishop?”, Paul asked Augustine who was just returning.
“I will never get used to this, even if I get to live forever, Apostle”, he answered. “I am feeling absolutely amazing, because I was taught incredible secrets. The beings I talked to were incredibly polite and kind; the Lady even poured me coffee. Sounds perfectly normal, right? Except when the Lady in question started talking, and I understood I was talking to our Lord’s older sister, whom his Father regularly asks for opinion because she’s just that smart. And I felt like a small schoolboy listening to Aristotle, except the difference between our minds was far more pronounced, but amazingly, she is so good a teacher that she actually explained it all in a way that I was able to understand. She looks like she’s less than twenty years old, and she’s such a gentle, kind being, who so obviously adores her husband, and they are both acting like the most normal, kind and polite people, but I just knew, without being told, and without any evidence I could point out to, that each of them is The One True God. And yet, there’s two of them. At the war conference, there were twelve Gods in attendance, and each single one of them registered as The One True God. It is as if they are all one being, emanating from one being, and manifesting different aspects of The One True God, with each part being the whole, and they seem to be competing as to which will be kinder, more respectful, humble, worshipful and wise, but if you asked them, each one wants to be the least of the twelve, and servant to all. Once or twice, that jewel on her brow flashed, and I felt as if she’s looking into the deepest structure of reality in order to tell me exactly how it’s made, and I felt she could blink and the world would change, or disappear. That thing she has, I heard it’s a brother or sister of the Jewel used by Satan to create the material world, and another one, that is as old as time itself, that is the soul of our Lord Jesus. And that being poured me coffee, smiled with incredible kindness, joked innocently with her husband, and explained to me how souls are made, and how sin alters their thermodynamic status. I’m telling you, I never felt smaller, and at the same time I never felt better, because they are such amazing people. They are as respectful and kind as they are powerful and wise”, Augustine finished in complete wonder.
“I believed and preached monotheism all my life, and here’s what it comes down to”, Paul smiled.
“I don’t even think we were wrong about that”, Augustine mused. “We did get the Trinity concept, where God can be three persons, who are different, special, with different roles, knowledge and powers, and it’s not that we were wrong; we just got a small part of the bigger truth. Paul, without false modesty, I was probably one of the five smartest people on Earth in my time. But being in that room, with those kind, wonderful people, and seeing a small glimpse of their oceanic knowledge and intelligence, I understood why we got only a small part of the truth. Even Hypatia told me that she had to revise a lot of her beliefs here, and apparently it doesn’t matter at all. She didn’t become a Goddess because she had all the right beliefs. And in hindsight, it is so obvious; our Lord never said we had to have all the right beliefs and opinions. He wanted us to love him above everything, and to love each other the way he loved us. And just look at her worldly life. She was so virtuous, kind, smart and generous as a person, that every good person loved and admired her. As Lady Kay said, she became a Goddess sooner than her corpse managed to cool. And none of that is due to her correct beliefs about things we Christians were bickering over – how many persons of God are there, did Holy Spirit emanate from the Father or both Father and Son; did Mary give birth to God or to Christ, how truly a man and a God was Christ, or was Mary a virgin only before Christ was born, or always. I’m quite sure hell will be quite full of people with correct answers to all those questions; also, nobody in Heaven could listen to them with a straight face, that’s how foolish it all sounds here. We got so few things right, we certainly can’t thank our great knowledge and orthodoxy for our salvation. I was greeted here by Hypatia when I died. During life, had I met her, I would have argued bitterly with her, and I’d have thought her wrong on too many issues to count, and I would have wagered everything that she would have been on the wrong side of salvation. And yet, when I saw her, may God have mercy on me, I was absolutely sure that she is the One True God, of Abraham, Moses and Christ. It was absolutely certain that she is the Truth, Way and Life. When I tried to understand what she is, I understood that she is a Person of God, the same way Christ and Father are. And I also knew her name, her sex, and I saw the depth and kindness of her mind and disposition, and I knew that she is the Judge, and that she had the authority to decide what my destiny is going to be”, he continued his stream of thought.
“What did you do?”
“I told her the truth. I asked her to explain how this is possible. I respected her authority and her person, because both were obviously of God. And I was just amazed at how dignified, pure and wonderful she was. It felt like the presence of Christ. And I would know, since I was later in his presence. They are vastly different, and yet they are the same One God. It’s not polytheism, they are not like Zeus and Venus or Mars, as the pagans imagine them in a theatre. No, it’s like we imagined Trinity, only it’s also what Christ truly preached and we didn’t understand it properly. Everybody can become like they are, if they are so pleasing to God and perfect that The One God sees them and says ‘yes, that is what I Am as a person’. Sounds easy, but apparently only twelve beings are like that, and four of them are older than time and space, apparently. And apparently they are always God-couples. Had someone in the Church suggested any of it, we would have excommunicated him”, Augustine laughed.
“One would expect them to have a strict hierarchy, to establish who is the head and who are the limbs, so to speak, but it seems not to be the case at all. Also, they only seem to compete in praising each other more and being the most kind, lovable and wise. They are indeed the Kingdom of Heaven, only there is no King, because there is so much love between them that there is no place for commandments or orders. We were told that; that there’s no need for law and commandments where there is total love, but it’s only now that we see what that looks like in reality”, mused the Apostle.
“It is as you say. They are like one being with twelve bodies that all worship each other and compete in goodness and kindness. I still can’t get those two out of my head. I swear, I could be like that woman who poured ointment on Christ and washed his feet with her hair, only with those two. They look so kind, natural and gentle with each other, as if love itself became two bodies so that it could express itself properly, and that love is such an immense power of wisdom that I just stood there and looked at them, and I could look forever and it would not be enough. When I spoke about God’s love in life, I could have imagined all sorts of things, but not this, and yet in their concrete actions I can see the most abstract and most superior of ideals of Divine Love”, Augustine’s eyes glistened.
“I think I know what you mean. I’ve seen Buddha, the Teacher of the World, and Zina the Love of God, and may God be my witness, I just looked at them, frozen like a statue, and wept. I couldn’t say a word. Even if I could, I wouldn’t know what to say, because it all felt like dust. They are what the goal looks like, that’s all there is to it, and it’s obvious that there’s not just one good outcome, so that all people of God would look and feel the same. They all feel different and yet they are so perfect, that they are obviously what Christ meant when he told us to be perfect like his Heavenly Father. That’s what I felt when I saw Buddha and Zina – they are as perfect as the Heavenly Father, and then I was afraid that it was blasphemous, to compare anyone to God, and then I understood that no, they actually are God; not two Gods but One God with two persons, and each of those persons is a distinct perfection in the eyes of God, and they all love that they are different, and can’t wait to praise one who is great at something. Heaven is not a place; it’s them. Again, it’s what Christ said, but we couldn’t understand it”, Paul wiped away a tear.
“I know why they praise each other. Praising them feels like being in the very heart of God. It’s something beyond every imagination, like the the most exalted ecstasy of prayer, only more. I could never have enough of it”, nodded Augustine.
“In all honesty, nothing can be truthfully said about them that isn’t highest praise”, confirmed Paul. “I imagined all sorts of things, and even saw all sorts of vision in my human life, but this is beyond even the wildest dream. I would imagine the perfect Christ, and Father as more perfect still, and Holy Spirit as acting within us to comfort and strengthen, but then I saw Buddha and Zina and I just wept, because there are no words that could describe the fullness I felt in my heart in their presence. I don’t know what I expected to see after I came here. Probably Christ, telling me whether I did well, whether I kept the faith. I was such an ass, thinking that our dogma is so important, that God would condemn any who strayed in belief over all sorts of insignificant matters, and then I saw those two, and it was like they poured truth straight into my heart and all the foolish constraints I had put on God just disappeared, for I had no need of them any more. In my human strictness, I would have expected those two to chastise me over my foolishness, but they just welcomed me home, and I felt such love and wisdom washing over me and through me, that I felt like I had been a thirsty man who had preached about water, and now a huge river was flowing through me unimpeded. Truly, everything we had known was good, but little. It was good enough to get us here, but now we truly began to learn”, Paul nodded and smiled.
“Amen, brother”.