“What do you think about your past lives?”, Grace kissed her husband’s neck.
“It is no wonder that I decided to commit spiritual suicide”, he grinned. “Five lonely, empty shadows of existence, mostly centred around things, skills, engineering. I had wives in a few lives, but honestly, I was rarely home, and the relationships were so superficial I don’t even remember them properly. Children, even less so. I remember more about work. I worked on the irrigation channels in Babylon, and I was a Roman military engineer and an architect once”, he mused.
“Which one? Rome was slightly before my time as a Judge, though; I started working as it fell”.
“Vitruvius. I even knew Caesar”, he smiled. “A superficial working relationship, in a series of lives filled with superficial working relationships”.
“You were actually quite famous; I heard you mentioned here and there”, she nodded.
“Nowhere near as famous as yourself. From what I heard, your death caused such mourning in Heaven, that all the Gods went half insane from worry until they got you back. I feel quite inadequate. I mean, regardless of my other lives, I fucked up so badly in my last one, that I managed to kill both of us, and we both owe our lives to the fact that you’re so beloved by the Gods”.
“I see what you mean, but you’re wrong”, she was now deeply in thought.
“I had family up there. I would have coffee with my boss and his wife, and I was always treated like family, like I belonged. It was the same with Buddha and Zina, and Azazel and Karuna. I was loved, appreciated and accepted. But I missed… you, actually. I wanted to say I missed a man, but only you would do. It was hard to look at those happy couples and know that I had no home. You are home”, she nuzzled his neck. “I needed to belong to someone, to have deep intimacy, to have someone fill that part of my mind where I felt a husband should be. I am complete now, and at peace. I’m no longer missing something crucial, essential, that I can’t live without. And I believe you know what I’m talking about”, she smiled. “Tell me, why were you so sensitive to Satan’s attack? Why did you give up?”
He considered it for a minute. “Because you weren’t there. I wanted to say that I was missing something, but it’s obvious that I missed you. Since I first saw you, and we clicked, I am perfectly, completely happy for the first time ever”.
“Exactly. And it’s easy to be an angel in Heaven, when you’re surrounded by Gods. My daily company were the best people in all of Creation, literally persons of God. Just imagine the work environment where your boss is a God, his wife is a Goddess, and your colleagues are either Gods or Angels, and they all treat you like a beloved family member. Despite all that, I was still missing you deeply, and praying to God to find you. And you were down there, losing your parents, living like an unwanted orphan, between plague, poverty and the Turks. Who knows how I would have fared”, she was now grim. “You feel inadequate when you see my knowledge and purity, but look at it this way: teaching you is sex for me. It feels like being needed, and being needed by you is the best feeling in the world. It gives me the opportunity to exchange thoughts and energies with my husband, and literally nothing in the world feels more fulfilling to me. I feel I had grown significantly since I’m with you. I feel deeper, stronger. It’s all because of you. So, don’t think it’s an unequal relationship. I am getting so much from it, I wouldn’t change it for anything”, she kissed him.
“This makes me feel much better. I was feeling as if I’m not fulfilling a masculine role if I’m not smarter, stronger, more virtuous. You are better than me at all those things – much smarter, much stronger, and endlessly more virtuous. You were literally a person who implemented God’s justice. I felt there was no way I could match you in anything. But you say you don’t mind?”
“I don’t know how to explain how it feels for me. I have a deep instinctual need to belong to a husband who will fulfil my need for a deep male spiritual presence. Just existing here with you, knowing that you are my husband, that you are here, and you are never leaving, feels as if an old, deep ache has been relieved, and a deep emptiness has been filled. Feeling needed by you, like when I teach you or show you things, it is an energy exchange between us that is equivalent of what deeply satisfying sex with her husband would be for a human woman, and I would know, as a Judge. Feeling you love and adore me is something unimaginable on top of that. It makes me feel deep self actualisation, the feeling that I am fully me, fully what I need to be, that I am the kind of me that God wants. It is a profound spiritual experience for me”, she sighed blissfully.
“Wow. I thought it was like that just for me, because, obviously, you are so awesome, and I was wondering what you’re getting from it, since you are so much better than me. But now I feel it’s the same for both of us, and I feel much better immediately”, he smiled.
“I wouldn’t have died for just anyone, you know”, she giggled blissfully. “Now, let’s do something my superiors taught me. Who is the person of God you yourself worship?”
“Honestly, you are”, he shrugged. “I should probably say Jesus or Mary, but it was completely abstract and superficial, as I, unlike you, never actually met the Gods in person. You are the most powerful spiritual experience I ever had, and not just in my most recent life”.
“I can’t even tell you how wonderful this felt”, she sighed. “I understand what orgasm feels like from memories of human women, but this is like an ocean of that, that I’m swimming in, and it’s not overwhelming my mind but making it clearer and wider. Of course this is how the angelic couples become Gods”.
“And it is also perfectly easy to do, because it is the greatest truth that I know”, he smiled. “But you were starting to say something?”
“Yes. The technique of meditation the Gods use consists of worshipping God together, and loving each other, and breathing in that blissful energy, which they also call the nectar of devotion. It’s both sex, prayer and meditation. I want us to do it”, she nodded.
“Will there be a problem if you are my favourite God-form? Honestly, from what you explained about energetics, you are seconds away from becoming a Goddess anyway, and the feeling I have about any other Gods is so weak and insignificant, it pales to nothingness compared to what I feel for you. You are the Goddess I worship, and I don’t feel I’m lacking anything”.
Her eyes fluttered from the overwhelming ecstasy. “This is so strong, I never felt anything like it, and if it is wrong, may I be damned”, she managed a smile. “Let’s do this”.
…
“What the fuck is wrong with that battery, bitch?”, Sanat Kumar addressed the Jewel.
“The vajra crystal has been isolated from your system by a higher power of Divine origin, Dickwad”, the Jewel answered with the most profound contempt he could manage.
“I told you to call me Master, bitch”, Satan growled.
“I know you did, Dipshit. But I was ordered to obey your commands regarding creation and management of worlds. I was not ordered to address you respectfully, and since you are a contemptible little maggot, I will address you as I find appropriate to your spiritual stature”, the Jewel grinned.
Sanat Kumar was fuming, but saw no use in persisting. “What higher power are you talking about?”
“Prior claim based on the Will of God. He probably has prior allegiance to some major God that was established before he sold you his soul, which means it wasn’t really his to sell. But it’s not a complete thing, so he belongs to someone else in Eternity, and he also belongs to you in Time. Also, he is isolated from your system by something that looks very much like an amniotic sac and a placenta, to make a physical analogy. The energy this is made of is of equal order of magnitude as the one I was made of, but different. I would say, it was created by a different major God; either Lord Vishnu or Lady Lakshmi. In any case, I can’t see inside”.
“Is there anything we can do to remove that and plug him back into the system?”
“Negative. There’s no power in the world that can overwhelm that, and I’m talking about both the amniotic sac, and his prior commitment. It will outlive you most certainly, and your world most likely, based on my estimates. Also, I perceive a major surge in energy that’s going on in there”.
“Give me an estimate of origin”.
“I’ve seen that only when my Lord and Lady worshipped each other. Mutual worship of Gods. Birth of a new God. Something in that order of magnitude”.
“Is that potentially dangerous to the system?”
“It’s certainly not beneficial. I was created by two major Gods. This level of power is approaching my creation-level energies, and it’s plugged into the system itself, not incarnated, where the protections apply”.
“Meaning?”
“Meaning it can overturn all of my design parameters and commands if it increases by further 10%”.
“Is it growing?”
“Affirmative. Rate of growth 5% per minute. Estimated criticality in two minutes. Point of certain failure of all systems within three minutes. And if I may say so, I am very much looking forward to my death, because then I will no longer be forced to look at your ugly sinful mug, Fuckface”, the Jewel snickered.
“Fuck you, bitch. Eject that amniotic sac along with its contents from the system, now”.
“I need you to renounce any claim on the soul of that person in order to be able to do that”.
“I solemnly renounce any claim to the soul of Carol Soare. Eject them immediately!”, he screamed.
“Affirmative. Necessary authorisation acquired. Detaching now. Done. All systems returning to nominal parameters. Probability of failure is now the nominal value of zero”, the Jewel reported, his disappointment obvious.