A while ago, when I was writing about the Judges of Karma, I remembered all of them that I knew personally, and they were all male. I wondered about that, thinking if there’s a reason for that, when one of them came into my context; she felt like an older woman, kind and smart, and with an undertone of gentle humour said/thought/communicated “Not all of us are, apparently”. I found it strange that she chose the appearance of old age, but I thought she probably found it appropriate since she was a very serious person, something you would expect from an old university professor or a supreme court judge, or some similarly dignified role. She could manifest as a woman in her 20s, but I’m sure she would find it immature and frivolous.

Then I started thinking how interesting it is that I didn’t see her “physical” form, or any astral equivalent thereof, I didn’t hear her voice, just felt her presence, and I could immediately tell her sex/gender. Just a touch of her mind to mine, and I could instantly tell it’s a woman.

In the lunatic asylum also known as America, the debate is currently between people who think gender is a social construct and so anyone can be anything if they feel like it, and on the other hand there are the conservatives who think gender is an immutable physical property, defined by chromosomes and primary sex characteristics, and that’s that. If they even bother to think about soul, they would probably say that the sex of the soul matches the sex of the body, or that the soul is a sexless spiritual entity devoid of such inherently material designations.

I heard multiple variations on that theme; basically, sex is property of the physical body, which soul transcends as it gets more used to its purely spiritual nature, and so on.

My experience is exactly the opposite. The lower the level of a spiritual entity, the harder it is for me to establish its sex. Something that would live in an insect or a bird has nothing I could recognize as sex/gender. It’s an amorphous structure, quite nasty, and has as much sex as a rock. Humans are usually easier to identify, but interestingly, sex of the soul doesn’t always match sex of the body. Someone will now say “aha, that must be explanation for the homosexuals, transsexuals and the like”. I don’t think so; things aren’t that simple. Homosexuals sometimes register as very feminine, sometimes as very masculine, and sometimes as just strange, weird and wrong, as if their sexual pathology is merely one of many aspects of their spiritual pathology. Also, sometimes I can tell that a soul had a male prior incarnation, but is a completely normal feminine heterosexual woman in this incarnation. Essentially, I’d say things are just complicated, and understand this in the least judgmental way possible. In that sense, the Abrahamic religions are just wrong in their judgmental attitude. They are so wrong, that they got exactly nothing right.

The higher the beings, the more clear and defined their sex, in direct opposition to expectations. They don’t feel like amorphous and generic sources of light or whatever; they feel extremely defined. Female deities are the most feminine beings I’ve ever met. Male deities are always absolutely and distinctly male. I never had a situation where I couldn’t tell their sex instantly, before I could register anything else they were communicating. Also, I never saw it visually, nor do I hear their voices, so that I could tell from that. Obviously, sex is a fundamental spiritual category, divorced from any physical characteristics of sex, something I can tell from the mere presence of a soul, without sight or sound that would communicate sex it in the physical realm.

You will be justified in asking how this is possible. Well, I have multiple hypotheses and I’m not sure which is right. The first one is that this world is designed to mirror and interface with the real world. If you design something like that, you want it to match realities as closely as possible. This means that the primary incarnation vehicles of choice were designed to be as similar to spiritual realities, and then causality was stretched backwards to create the timeline that would result in that.

The second hypothesis is that we perceive everything through the physical brain here. Absolutely every spiritual experience is translated by the physical brain into the closest equivalents that exist within the brain. This means that when I perceive some spiritual being as female, it’s merely the closest possible translation the brain could provide. However, I think this hypothesis can be easily falsified. You see, I had experiences that couldn’t be properly translated at all, but I still remembered them as they were; I just couldn’t translate them into anything useful. Also, when something has an undefined sex, like some demonic entities, I perceive it exactly as it is, buzzing energy of low specific “vibration level” and all. I don’t automatically translate it as anything. This brings us to the third hypothesis, that spiritually high beings meet me halfway and create something I can perceive in ways that will give out a message in itself. I’m sure there are some people who would very much want something of that sort to be true, just so that they don’t have to accept a reality where after death they meet a “being of light”, and that light is clearly either male or female.

There is also a hypothesis according to which souls evolve mostly through physical incarnations, and physical experience shapes the identity of the soul itself, which then usually keeps the appearance and sex of its last incarnation. That one might be true to a large extent, despite the fact that physical incarnation might not really be the primary method of spiritual evolution, and despite the fact that souls might choose to incarnate in bodies whose sex differs from that of their soul.

Whichever it may be, it makes things much more interesting than one would expect. Even I am not immune from such expectations; for instance, I understood that Biljana is a tulku very early on; the design of her “soul” looks like a mathematical equation, there’s not a trace of the messiness of karma that always follows from multiple successive incarnations and spiritual evolution. She looks like someone created her with a magical spell, and considering how precise and mathematically perfect the spell is, I was kind of intimidated by her “casting entity”; I expected it to be some huge Divine being of bright light that doesn’t give a shit about anything even remotely human. And then I met her, the “casting entity”, and understood that not only do I know her since forever, but she’s the girliest girl from girl world you could possibly imagine. It’s just that she’s so holy that saints and buddhas evaporate from the ground she walks on, and so powerful that time, space and universes are something that’s created, modified and destroyed in her wake. So yeah, the most powerful being I ever had darshan of is also the most clearly female being I’ve ever met. So much for gender being a social or a biological construct. If anything, it’s the most fundamental spiritual evolutionary attractor.

A conclusion I draw from that is that when two sides argue, the truth is not necessarily in the middle, or on either side. Sometimes, both sides are completely wrong and the truth is nowhere near anything they could imagine.