Zina smiled and sipped her coffee, as the woman across her was fidgeting and turning increasingly stronger shades of red.
“Hypatia, you’re going to have a stroke. Relax. Breathe. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I did have a teenage daughter who needed to have the sex talk once her monthly bleeding started”, she winked. “Just ask whatever you feel like asking, I’m not going to bite you”.
The woman smiled uncomfortably. “Well, your daughter wasn’t a virgin at fifty, so she at least had a valid excuse”, she relaxed a bit. “What I wanted to ask you is, well, you had certain experiences as a human woman that I.. didn’t, and you are also a Goddess now, so, what I want to know is, how does it all work here and there, and am I missing something?”, she turned a stronger shade of red and fumbled half the words.
“You mean, is there something about human sexual experience that you’re missing in your relationship with Azrael now?”, Zina smiled.
Hypatia nodded, obviously embarrassed. “I mean, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything, but since I don’t know for sure, I thought…”
“Well, human sexual experience is certainly great, at least relatively, for a human experience. There are certainly things we don’t have an analogue for here – such as the body instincts taking over, overriding your mind; and orgasm as something that resets your brain in complete surrender; that doesn’t exist either. Also, we don’t actually have the special girly bits, if you know what I mean”, Zina explained, as Hypatia squirmed with embarrassment.
“However, we don’t actually need those, because here, our very soul is also our sexual organ, so to speak”, Zina was now more serious. “It’s as if souls have polarity. My husband is the brain of the family so he can probably tell you more about kalapas and their organisation into a karmic matrix, and apparently they have ‘left’ and ‘right’ orientation, or you can call them ‘male’ and ‘female’ on a very fundamental level. In young souls, those kalapas are arranged in all sorts of haphazard ways, left and right interchangeably. If you look at young souls in the astral nursery, you can almost never tell their gender, and it doesn’t seem to mean much either, the way gender of a coffee cup or this table doesn’t matter. However, as we mature, our souls start polarising, and the farther up you go in the spiritual hierarchy, the less likely you are to find a soul with indeterminate gender, or with unclear, alternating or reversed sexual proclivities. And us Gods, we are extremely polar, because the entirety of our being is in alignment and following what God, or you would call it The One, desires”, she nodded, and Hypatia was now completely in her element, as the talk was taking a philosophical turn.
“So, what you’re saying is, there are no hermaphrodites, homosexuals or beings with ambiguous gender in heaven?”, she asked.
“It’s not because there’s some rule that says entrance is forbidden to them”, Zina smiled. “It’s just that those ambiguities and reversals are malformations and disorders, and disorders are something that needs to be sorted out in the evolutionary process. They are not the end result”.
“There are also no assholes in heaven, either, because being a nasty person is an impurity and a malformation that needs to be sorted out in the evolutionary process”, Zina continued. “But when you reach the pinnacle of spiritual evolution, the end result always seems to be either a perfectly sorted out man, or a perfectly sorted out woman, and they always have a counterpart, to the point where it seems to be a requirement. Being a single God is as unheard of as being a genderless or a homosexual one. It just doesn’t seem to reflect God’s desires”, Zina finished.
“So, God always wants to be a male God married to a female one, and a female God married to the male one?”, Hypatia asked.
“Yes. At least that is something that has been repeated universally in our experience. It is as if some deep aspect of the unmanifested Absolute can manifest properly only as an intimate, profound spiritual connection of mutual worship, adoration and surrender between an enlightened, divine Man, and an enlightened, divine Woman”, Zina confirmed. “Absolute is indeed One, but One apparently doesn’t mean lonely. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that its nature is closer to the absolutely perfect union of male and female, and all the perfect God-couples in existence, and all the God-couples that are yet to become. It is an endless, ever-blissful, complete ocean that is totality of all perfections”, the Love of God was now glowing.
“That is amazing. But you were saying that our very soul is a female sexual organ. What did you mean by that?”, Hypatia inquired.
“It’s simple. As a divine woman, when you worship your divine husband, which will be pretty much constantly, you envelop his soul with yours, and simultaneously open yourself to him and draw him in with the power of your worship, and this makes you glow with both pleasure, wisdom and consciousness as you both touch the Absolute in your mutual worship”, Zina nodded wisely.
“That is exactly how I experience it”, Hypatia confirmed. “I couldn’t have stated it more precisely myself”.
“So, a human woman has a special female organ she opens towards her husband, she takes him in, and pleasure of the act makes her open up and surrender even more, and when they both reach the blissful climax, they touch a small aspect of what we feel, as God-couples. The difference is, they lose their consciousness temporarily, while ours grows stronger, and we don’t have orgasm in the sense of having reached a point where the pleasure is too strong for our brains to keep functioning, so they reset. Our minds, on the contrary, are being fed by the pleasure and we keep getting clearer and wiser as we are experiencing pleasure. This means we can keep going far, far further than the point where a human being would reach orgasm, and our normal state of consciousness is way beyond a human orgasmic experience. As you would say, sex for us is more of a philosophical ecstasy than a culmination of biological urges. And, of course, we also don’t have a monthly cycle, or pregnancy, or the mess that drips down your leg after your husband finishes in you, that you have to clean up afterwards”, Zina giggled, and Hypatia again blushed with angry crimson.
“Do you miss those physical things you described? The orgasm, the mess, the pregnancy, everything…?”, she asked.
“It was fun and lovely, as a part of my human experience”, Zina nodded. “But it’s important to understand that it’s a part of a different package. It was great as human experiences go, but what I have now is so much fuller, better and greater, that I would cry with inconsolable desperation if I had to return to the human limitations now, even if it consisted of only the best parts of the human experience without the bad ones”, she concluded firmly.
“I think I understand what you mean. When I was a human woman, I would periodically desire sexual union with a man very strongly, but I controlled myself because I understood that I don’t actually feel a spiritual connection with any particular person, and once I would get pregnant, I would have to choose between my career as a philosopher, or my family, and it would invariably end by having neglected either one or both”, Hypatia was now reminiscing. “I considered trying sex with a woman, because then there would be no risk of pregnancy, but I didn’t really feel any attraction to any of them. The whole thing was a struggle, and although there were things I was missing, the tradeoff just wasn’t worth it”, she nodded.
“So, are there any other embarrassing points you would want to cover with your sexually experienced sister?”, Zina joked. “I mean, watching you squirm with embarrassment is highly entertaining”, she hugged the woman, who hugged her back with great relief.
“No, I think I get it now, and I am so grateful I could talk to you about this”, Hypatia smiled blissfully.
“Any time, sweetheart. Any time”, Zina whispered.
“Oh”, she suddenly got serious. “We are called to the war council. Something is up”.