The nature of reality

I keep confusing people by making statements that make it unclear whether my “belief system” is monotheistic, polytheistic, or something else entirely. I usually answer those concerns by stating that there is a big difference between what I perceive, and the imagery I use to explain things to others. However, I never actually bothered to try and formulate my “reality map”, at least in a form more concise than a book. This is going to be difficult, which is why I’ve been procrastinating, but some recent developments made me believe it will actually be useful for me to attempt writing it all down. You see, it recently became clear to me that I’ve been processing a significant karmic burden that requires me to gradually work through darkness and ignorance and toward something that was clear to me for decades, but I had to “forget” it, in order to break my way towards it again, from the position of ignorance defined by the karmic burden that is placed upon me. To pre-empt the question, I don’t know what it is, but it’s big.

Enough dillydallying. I was thinking about the appropriate literary form for this, and I think it would be best to write it down in the Yoga Sutra form, essentially by stating a brief definition and then elaborate on it in commentary. This way I can keep it both mathematically concise and elaborate at the same time, without watering down the essential thought with necessary explanations. I will write the commentary later, if necessary.


1 This world’s reality is derived.
2 The deeper reality, from which this world derives its own reality, is not ultimate.
3 The tree of derived realities is not endless and has a finite number of branches and layers.
4 There is the ultimate, Absolute reality, which is the fullness of being-consciousness-bliss, from which all lesser realities derive their positive qualities, by means of reduction and filtration.
5 The derived realities simultaneously do and do not exist separately from the Absolute. The entire relative (non-Absolute) existence is a fundamental paradox.
6 To manifest the attributes of deeper reality is to partake in the deeper reality.
7 Manifestation of deeper reality exists on a spectrum, on kalapa-level.
8 Kalapas can aggregate into larger structures.
9 Aggregation of kalapas is constrained by the ratio of repulsive and attractive forces.
10 Growth of an aggregate structure can be both quantitative and qualitative.
11 Quantitative growth is attained by expansion on the same level of reality. Qualitative growth is attained by initiation into a deeper level of reality.
12 To extend oneself is to grow quantitatively. To transcend oneself is to grow qualitatively. Both are essential.
13 A structure that contradicts reality by its choices and existence breaks down into lesser fragments due to repulsive internal forces exceeding the attractive ones.
14 A structure is homogenous if all its constituent kalapas are of the same quality and the forces between them are equally strong. If the constituent kalapas are not all of the same quality, if there are blocks of isotropic karmic substances separated by inclusions of lower quality, or if the energy binding the particles or isotropic blocks are of unequal strength, the structure is heterogenous, unbalanced and fragmented.
15 The fact that a structure is maintained within the mind of God, doesn’t make it of God.
16 That part is up to you. The stable choices are to be of God, by choosing more and deeper reality, or to dissipate into nothingness, where repulsive forces between the kalapas of one’s spiritual substance overpower the attractive ones, and one’s identity essentially degrades.
17 One can say that God was in the beginning. One can also say that God as Absolute emanates into Gods as relative beings that are fully of God as Absolute, at once singular and plural, and yet God doesn’t change. This is a great mystery and cannot be fully known.
18 God is the beginning beyond all things, and has to be chosen, again and again, by every thought and action, consistently and with increasing depth of immersion and comprehension, in order to be a personal destiny. There are many paths and many outcomes, and there is immense diversity among those who became Gods by being of God. There is even greater diversity of misery and woe among those who chose to oppose reality-consciousness-bliss by their choices and actions.
19 It is difficult to say how particular worlds came to be, because human mind thinks in terms of time and space, and both began with the creation of this particular world. To think in terms of other-time and other-space, before space and time, is not really possible for a spatiotemporally constrained mind.
20 There are many things in this world that were made by men, and not by God. There are even more things that were made by nuclear processes in stars, supernova explosions and isotope decay, and by the chemical and biochemical processes, also not by God. It is therefore not reasonable to assume that this world itself necessarily needed to be created, or even designed by God. To blame God for the nature of this world makes as much sense as blaming stars for the existence of deadly earthquakes, because they created the heavy elements that are a prerequisite of organic life.
21 There are much better worlds that allow for much greater freedom and beauty, that preceded the existence of this one. This world looks like something that was created by taking a higher-world template, and reducing the light of God that is allowed to emanate through it and be perceived by the souls bound to it, down to the very point of endless darkness. Essentially, it’s the worst world that can still theoretically exist. If it were any worse, no consciousness could manifest within it, and it would thus be better.
22 This mockery of a world does not need to be improved, in order for something better to exist. Something vastly better existed long before it was conceived. It needs to be destroyed because it is an abomination and mockery of God’s creation. Its existence, as I see it, is a result of evil intent of one being, negligence of another, and is in strong opposition to those who anticipated the evils that will inevitably arise.
23 It is difficult to say how old this world is, because there are many ways of looking at time. From one perspective, time is measured by causality of events within a world. From another perspective, time exists only if an observer perceives change. In-universe time started with the first consciousness that was bound to the world and perceived it from within. Before that, there is no reason to assume that any outside time had to pass.
24 Some say that this world is designed to promote spiritual evolution. Why is it, then, that one short moment of transcendental, outworldly experience, makes one a profoundly spiritual person, and a whole life devoid of such experiences, with worldly experiences alone, makes one the opposite of spiritual? This world promotes spirituality in the same ways in which butchery promotes cows.
25 As a great paradox, this world is many layers of reality separated from God. It is also designed to reduce the light of God so greatly, that it is almost impossible to see God as the fundamental driving force. And yet, it is as separate from God as dreamer from a dream, or any piece of software running on a computer, from CPU and RAM. The paradox of being completely separate from God while dwelling within the mind and being of God, is as excruciating as it is not comforting. It is a nightmare one cannot wake up from, and the fact that it is not ultimately real does not help.
26 The fact that something is not ultimately real does not make it any less of a problem.
27 The fact that God is the fundamental reality within and beyond all things doesn’t mean that there are no real problems, or that God is omnipotent, in a sense that He can do anything. God can make choices that preclude other choices. God can give beings individuality and autonomy, and even make pledges and promises that make it extremely difficult to work around and mitigate bad outcomes. Things look very simple at the most fundamental level of reality, where only I Am, but they get immensely complicated as one follows the branches of Yggdrasil outwards.
28 The tree of the world has its root in the Absolute, but on some of its branches there are leaves of madness and evil. It is true that those are destined to fall off due to their opposition to the fundamental truth of all things, but that is a matter of time, and time can seem like eternity if you are tortured in a dungeon by the enemies of God.
29 God did not forget you, who are bound and deluded by this nightmare of a world. You are remembered as you truly are, and the very existence of God will assure that you are not lost.
30 Those, however, who sided with the forces of this world that obscure the memory of God and the light beyond, will regret being born at all. Those who chose the darkness willingly, and used it against others with joyful glee; they exist, but they will also live to regret that fact.
31 The destiny of those who built their existence out of meditation on God, is beyond any worldly comprehension. They are eternity in time and space, and they the ultimate paradox of a relative God that is a localized totality, at the same time Everything, yet individual and particular something and someone, the totality of One in the many. Such ultimate destiny is great beyond any thought, dream or hope.
32 God is the great challenge, in every thought and action. So close, and yet who can say, “I am what God would be, I am doing what God would do”?
33 Yet, it is possible and can be achieved. Many have done it. Others have excuses.