Greta Thunberg

There’s a hysterical, aggressive child out there with extreme media presence, and since she seems to be everywhere, I’m going to tell you what she is.

In ancient Greece, she would be a Maenad, raving about the greatness of Dionysus, telling everyone how they owe so much to him and how they need to worship him more and sacrifice to him more. Since a Maenad spewed out commonly accepted dogma, people awkwardly gave her lip service, fed her and sent her on her way.

In medieval Europe, she would be a “penitenziagite” religious fanatic, raving about how Jesus was crucified for all our sins and how we crucify him again every single day by committing new sins after we have been saved through his blood, and how we should repent, because the day of judgment is near, and we will all burn in hell for all eternity unless we do.

In Nazi Germany, she would be a member of the Hitlerjugend, praising the Führer, telling everybody what a great person he is, and how unworthy they are of such a blessing of destiny, and how much harder they must work and how they need to sacrifice more for the Homeland, to create the bright future for the Aryan race promised by the great Führer.

In communist Yugoslavia, she would be a young pioneer of Tito, telling everybody he’s the greatest son of our nations and nationalities, and that they are straying from the path he had shown to us, the path of brotherhood and unity, and that we need to apply ourselves hard to implement our socialist self-governing system in every aspect of our lives.

In an Islamic country, she would be Osama bin Laden, reciting Qur’an and telling everybody how to be a better Muslim and implement the teachings of Muhammad literally and without deviations, thus obeying the will of Allah and making the world as He intended.

In every single instance, she would be awkwardly praised or even publicly elevated as an example, because she embodies the collective guilt and pathology of the absurd beliefs everybody gives lip service to in public, while disregarding them on the actual real-life level, because they are nonsense. But you can’t publicly state they are nonsense, or counter-productive, because they are the public dogma, and since Socrates the punishment for going against public dogma has been nasty. So when some pompous, aggressive, ugly little shit starts yelling public dogma and asking for more compliance and submission, everybody wants to crush her underfoot like a cockroach that she is, but since she’s the manifestation and embodiment of the public dogma, followed by the priests who explain how she’s ideologically correct, you do what is right and proper for one to do in such circumstances when in a totalitarian state: you clap enthusiastically to show your political and ideological correctness, and prop her up for everybody to follow as a bright example, which of course feeds her ego with self-righteousness of her glorious path. However, when the ideology changes, as it invariably does, she’s something everybody is ashamed of, as she embodies their cowardice, compliance and obedience to complete bullshit.

What really makes me laugh is imagining a Maenad doing her self-righteous thing outside of the natural environment – a Greek Maenad inside North Korea, or a Nazi Maenad inside communist Yugoslavia, or Greta Thunberg the CO2 Maenad in Christian medieval Europe. Without the shield of dogma, such a little shit would be treated exactly as she deserves to be treated.