When I was writing the book, I didn’t actually know what was coming next, and sometimes I was itching to find out as much as any reader. For instance, I didn’t initially know who Jesus will be, who Mary will be; when it happened to write itself, I was sitting there and thinking “wow”. I didn’t know that.

I spent quite a few days in the beginning thinking how to portray the Gods; I knew I had to make them human, but I also knew it can’t be completely human because they are always fluid; “human” is too static to actually portray a real picture. Also, I intentionally omitted some parts of “human” that seemed incompatible; they don’t do sex the human way because they have better ways of forming connection. I intentionally skipped too detailed descriptions of their human-like appearance, because in my experience, what they are does communicate human things, but in different ways. A Goddess feels like a woman, but there’s never a sound of her voice or appearance of a female body that would need to create that impression. It’s just obvious from the presence. That’s why I didn’t get into details of their physical appearance, because there actually isn’t one, not in the way we’re used to, on Earth. It’s not like you see a female form and hear a female voice and then you conclude there’s a female being talking to you. No – there’s a female presence in your consciousness and you don’t need a voice or an image to know. I know this will sound weird to people who haven’t experienced it, but sex not only isn’t a social construct, it’s not even a physical thing. It’a a spiritual thing so profound, that physical matter can’t work without adhering to it almost exactly. So, how do you explain what a Goddess feels like without getting much into the details of things that don’t even exist up there? Also, how do I show how different they all are to each other, but show that each and every one is perfect? As I said, it took me a while. I decided to portray them as European nobility and royalty from the past centuries, because it felt right – respect and form of behaviour that doesn’t go away with familiarity. The fact that those people know each other for eons, any they still address each other with Titles and with huge respect. There’s an undertone of that in the Bhagavad-gita and Bhagavata-purana, but I didn’t want to go down the ridiculous path of the Hare Krishnas who mix Indian culture and customs with theology to a ridiculous point. So, I made them have Indian names but behave like European royalty and aristocracy. Only then I added the casual layer, because it’s real. However, the way they are casual with each other is more how the 19th century aristocracy would understand it, not the way people understand it now. The wife brings her husband coffee and curtsies. The man accepts the cup and bows. Everything is respectful, because it’s their love language. You’re casual, but you love the person by respecting them in everything they are. Everybody is different, there’s no concept of equality, but they see the other person and shower them with respect, and that’s how the love is communicated. There are different relationships, and they are usually permanent. For instance, Kay sees the Primordials as her parents, and that persists over eons. She was a young Goddess when the first casualties came from the Earth, and she still maintains that same relationship, eons later. There’s no “growing out” of it. The relationship is incredibly intimate, and it’s what they are. Also, the intimacy of the relationship is initiated by the seniors, because that’s how respect works. You don’t get to say “oh, I’d like to visualise God as my parent”. Doesn’t work that way. When you’re in the presence of God, God initiates the relationship and tells you what you are to each other. Kay initially thought of herself as a maid-servant, but her Mistress upgraded the relationship to mother-daughter, and the other Primordials nodded and joined in. Something can begin as a joke, for instance Carol joking with Lakshmi that he must be her son because he spent centuries in her womb, and she thought about it, nodded and started treating him as her son, for real. Not a joke anymore. The Primordial initiated the relationship and it’s real now, like any Title they can choose to grant. A junior person can’t just proclaim themselves something; that’s offensive, impudent and causes a spiritual degradation and apostasy. They can’t approach the Gods casually because they see Gods approaching each other casually. That stuff is earned; it’s not free, and there’s no egalitarianism. There are no rights. Someone like Kay earned her privileges and was granted them by the Primordials. Now she can do things you can’t, because she’s family. She can approach Lord Vishnu the same way her younger brother Christ could, and ask him about his intimate thoughts, and he reciprocates. If you tried it, you would commit a grave offence and would be thrown out. You’re not allowed. You don’t have the privilege, and rights don’t exist. You see Lord Vishnu and a cute girl holding hands and walking, and you think that’s normal – but it’s normal for them. She’s older than Earth. She’s older than Christ. She’s one of the first two persons who become Gods after the Primordials. She is the one who revealed the intimate thoughts of God, and was granted special Titles. She just looks like a teenage girl, but she’s one of the most formidable persons even among the Gods. She just likes being her daddy’s little girl. Other than that, she can make a Universe or destroy one without batting hey cute eyelashes. She’s ancient, frighteningly powerful and formidable, and she’s been holding her daddy’s hand ten thousand years before you were born, and will keep doing so when you’re either dust, or an ancient angel, or a God in your own right, and she’ll still look like a teenage girl in a frilly dress. I might as well have called her Sarasvati, and nicknamed her Sara. It probably would have been more accurate, but I like fucking with people’s expectations, so I called her Karen, made it into Karuna, and shortened it to Kay.

Respect is the love language of the Gods. Disrespect is the nature of Satan. Have that in mind.

The part where I repeat over and over again the respectful nature of their relationship isn’t an accident. I wanted to drill it into your heads even at the cost of being repetitive. It’s the most important lesson you will ever learn. Nothing matters more. You don’t get to presume. Familiarity doesn’t breed contempt. Husbands address their wife with “my Lady”, wives address their husband with “my Lord”. They mean it every single time. Demons address each other with “bro”, “bitch” or “dog”. Gods address their ancient friend with “Great Lord” or “my Wonderful Lady”. They know each other since Time was a new thing, and they still address each other as the most respected, wonderful person it is their great honour to know and be friends with. They don’t take each other for granted, and the relationship never gets “old” or wears out. They made love to their wife a zillion times and they still bow to her when she enters the room, and she still curtsies and blushes in return. A God addresses the Primordial Goddess with “Holy Mother”. They might be extremely intimate and know each other’s every thought and confide in each other for eons, but this form remains because it’s their love language. Love communicates as respect, and as voluntary submission. You don’t claim rights, and you don’t presume, ever. Even someone as direct and casual as Kay doesn’t just do it with everybody – for instance, she and the Tibetans get to know each other really well before she starts messing with them in an intimate sisterly way. They know she’s the Ancient and Terrible Goddess of Wisdom. She knows they are the Formidable Teachers of the Gods. They communicated deep respect and recognition. And then they fell into a form of relationship that Kay, as a senior, initiated, and it became their love language. You can’t emulate that relationship as an outsider. For instance, Albert and Hilde bow respectfully to their guru Jess, they obey her every word, and they see her as their absolute senior, which she is. The fact that Kay sometimes comes to bring coffee to Jess, tickles her, ruffles her hair, hugs her and runs away to “molest” her next target, is something they watch with a combination of deep respect and appreciation of how funny it is, but they would never presume to have the same privileges. If Jess initiated it, then that would be allowed. To them, both girls are the respected elders, regardless of the fact that they look like young women and have their own private love language.

I think it was all a lesson to those people who have read one of those books on vedanta or tantra where they’re instructed to just visualise any relationship with the Gods that they like, including a sexual one, and it’s all fine. Of course it’s not fine. When I said, decades ago, that you should meditate on the form of God closest to you, I never meant you should presume anything of the sort. After all, I would never dare to do it. To me, a solution to that equation was to imagine Christ in his greatest glory, during the sermon on the Mount, where the glory of God manifested through him and he spoke the Word of God. That’s how I received my first truly powerful spiritual experience of the pure Divine Bliss. Where the Angels tremble with respect, you don’t get to pull your dick out and wank. When Christ addresses Lord Vishnu as “Father”, you don’t get to do that. The respectful way to do it is to remember his many glorious qualities and praise Him. To an Ancient Goddess he might be Daddy. To you, he’s Almighty and Glorious Lord God. Only if he smiles at you, tells you to get up, and calls you “Son”, do you get to call him “Father”. That’s how that works. When you’re respectful, the Divine Bliss goes through you and elevates you. When you’re disrespectful, Divine Bliss avoids you and you wither in your darkness of choice.