Why Buddhism works and New Age doesn’t

Positive thinking is all the rage in the New Age circles.

In my opinion, that probably contributes enormously to the general outcome of them not managing to achieve jack shit, because positive thinking is a slave-girl mentality.

I am now going to make a rather graphic presentation, but I assume that if you lasted here so far you are a mature enough person and a fainting couch will not be needed.

Imagine a New Age/Wiccan paradise of people somewhere in the early Holocene period, who worshiped Goddess Earth, praised her for all her bountiful gifts – fruits, grain, domesticated animals that provide you with eggs, meat and milk, and not least of all, sex. Focus on the positive, feel happy, praise Goddess in all things. Earth is beautiful, it loves us and showers us with gifts.

Then there are other people, with horses and swords, who look at that place and they also see the gifts of the Goddess Earth – fruits, grain, domesticated animals, and humans to be enslaved as domesticated creatures that provide you with sex and labor. They, too, will praise the Goddess for her bountiful gifts of food, sex and slaves.

When you praise Goddess for all the resources She gave you, you think of wheat and apples as resources, you think of cows, pigs and chickens as resources, but you never think of yourself as a resource that will be harvested by someone else, who will praise Goddess for giving him your body and servitude to enjoy, because he is so loved and appreciated.

There’s a reason why men have a different attitude towards positive thinking on a genetic level. It’s because men who were thinking positive ended up castrated and died working on some field or in a mine or building an aqueduct. They didn’t leave descendants. Those who were cautious, aggressive and who were assuming the worst, who have taken up arms at the first sign of trouble and simply killed all the enemies, they lived to reproduce and have their offspring reach maturity. Positive thinking simply died out in the male line because it’s a lethal trait.

In the female line, things worked differently. If the females were loving, submissive, forgiving and positive, they took well to captivity and servitude. As they were thinking positive thoughts, lived in the present moment and tried to use the situation the best they could, they fell in love with their captors, admiring their positive qualities and ignoring everything negative, such as them having butchered their former husbands and children. No, that’s past and can’t be changed, but the present moment is what’s important in order to build the future. As they were thinking positive, they were radiating a sexy kind of energy and producing nice hormones, making their captors’ cocks hard, so they proceeded to fuck them. Those who were the most positive had the most orgasms while fucked, were the most favored slaves, and as they got pregnant they were elevated to a higher status, their children survived and their genes went on. Those who were loyal to their former husbands, who were angry at their captors, or were sad and depressed, were either outright slaughtered as potential danger (Judith and Holofernes, anyone?), or were relegated to menial labor where they wilted away and died without leaving offspring, and so their genes died. Women were therefore genetically selected to be happy, tolerant, positive, loving and forgiving slave-girls who live in the present moment and build their future from there. Men were genetically selected to be aggressive, ruthless, paranoid and cautious, mindful of past experience, understanding patterns, and carefully planning ahead. Men who thought positive died as castrated slaves building an aqueduct or mining copper.

New Age is a religion of successful slave-girls. It makes defeat into future victory and submission into orgasm and pregnancy. It makes rape a victory because you belong to a better man and you need to be thankful to Goddess for giving you into the care of a better provider and a source of more successful sperm. A successful slave girl doesn’t mourn being enslaved by a warrior tribe, she immediately starts daydreaming about how sexy and strong those men are, and falls in love with them. They don’t have to rape her, she’s all willing; she’ll orgasm before they manage to take her panties off. That’s what makes her successful: she’s so positive she’s seen as cute and bountiful gift of the Mother and the captors take to her immediately, in fact the leader will take her for himself. The less successful ones will die doing laundry, for both the men and the successful slave-girls and their children.

Buddhism, however, is a religion of super-successful men. It is realistic to the point of pessimism. It admits we’re fucked, diagnoses the problem excellently, and prescribes therapy. It doesn’t care for positive thoughts. If you’re hit by an arrow, positive thinking doesn’t do shit for you. What actually helps is to admit you’re fucked, to try to figure out how to remove the arrow without bleeding to death, to suppress infection and to survive the ordeal.

It’s not at all surprising that Buddhism was invented by a prince from the warrior-caste. His ancestors lived because they were pessimistic, they assumed the enemy was stronger than it is, better armed than it is and has a better strategic position. Then they assumed that his peasants were more productive, his blacksmiths made better swords and his horses and elephants were stronger. They then proceeded to organize their state so that the peasants were more productive, the blacksmiths made better swords and armors, the horses and elephants were bred to be stronger and more resilient, the walls of the cities were taller and stronger, they occupied better strategic points and their spies gave them better intelligence about the enemy, and they struck first and won.

That’s why Buddhism is useful for conquering the world and getting out of jail free, and New Age and Wicca, the favorite female religions, are useful for being a happy slave-girl who showers her captors with love, kindness and servitude, heart warm with feeling and pussy wet with acceptance.

If you want to achieve anything in spirituality, the positive “all is well” attitude is the first thing you need to lose. The only kind of positive attitude that you need is that of believing that it’s possible to get the fuck out of here if you do everything right, if you ask for and receive all the right kinds of help, if you use your luck and opportunities to the best possible advantage, if you’re not discouraged by failure because the situation is so dire that it’s expected. The true positive attitude is that you invest all your energy into efforts that will produce liberation, and retract all energy from things that further your bondage. That’s the way of thinking that helped men keep their balls in their sacs and their heads on their shoulders, and since this is the kind of mentality that actually works for winning, and not just for being a happy loser, you would do well to pay attention, men and women alike.