A composition

Biljana had an idea for a photographic composition; something very specific, a snail in the bush of brnistra plant. We’ve been looking around for quite a while, and the brnistra blooming season had almost finished, and we haven’t found a single snail on one, which is uncommon, since we were used to seeing them around.

Today I decided to try our luck – there’s a place where there’s a lot of those bushes, and I chose early evening, when the light will go horizontally through the bushes; it was somewhat overcast, but not to the point where the light would suffer greatly.

We actually found a few snails on brnistra, so Biljana got busy, while I found some butterflies in the briars.

We both used macro lenses for this shoot, and they did great – the butterflies were calm and cooperative, and I could get very close, but I noticed one thing – unlike way before, I no longer try to get the tightest composition possible, and try to fill the frame with the butterfly. The fact that I could doesn’t mean it would be the best composition, or the one I wanted to get. Now, I prefer them wider, more atmospheric. I see that as an improvement – I’m not unconsciously trying to prove that I can technically do something, and instead I’m doing what I actually want.

I also took this abstract. It feels liberating, not caring about demonstrating what equipment can do, but instead doing my own thing with it. And yes, I also got a snail. 🙂

Decreasing benefits

My wife and I were taking one of our usual photographic walks in the town of Hvar yesterday evening, after the rain.

The tourist season is starting, so it’s more crowded than we’d like, but there were some quite nice sunset scenes and we came back with quite a nice catch on the memory cards.

As a curiosity, Rimac brought quite a show of Nevera cars.

This, combined with the fact that quite a lot of superyachts were parked there, made me think – I’m probably surrounded by the greatest density of people with order of magnitude more money than me, and it’s incredible how little they can actually show for it. In the real world, if you encounter a God who’s an order of magnitude more powerful than you, they are actually scary powerful – they can snap a finger and cancel some event out of existence by modifying its origin in time, or they can assemble a particle cloud back into the destroyed object, or they can create/modify universes. Here, they can buy a bigger boat or a faster car you can’t actually legally drive faster.

I mean, it’s nice, but I can’t but feel it as damning with faint praise. Once you solve all your actual problems that are caused by the lack of money, there’s precious little you can actually do with money. Buy a faster car with more expensive upholstery. Buy a bigger boat. Buy a bigger house. Buy more houses in many different places. Hire people to maintain it all. Have a space programme, or a charity fund, or something to give you the impression that it makes sense and is worth while. But basically, you do the same things you always did, just with no financial constraints. You still drive a car, only better. If you liked boats, you can get a better one. If you were into computers, you can get the best one. If you were into photography, you can buy the best cameras and lenses. You can get the house you actually like, instead of the one you could afford. But you still have all the human limitations, constraints and issues. There’s very little one of those billionaires can do, that a middle class person can’t. I mean, actually do, not just take a ride on a boat or have ten houses that require staff and staff managers. It’s like HiFi – you get to 90% of what’s possible with a few thousand euros. After that, ten times the money will give you the next 9%. After that, you can pay infinite amounts of money for utterly insignificant or even fictitious progress; essentially, you get to delude yourself for a hundred thousand dollars.

Money is absolutely crucial up to a point, and the difference between what your life is as a broke student or a homeless person, and someone in the middle class, can feel like magic. You can just pull out the wallet and solve things that would seem insurmountable to the other person. You can cash out a piece of real estate. You can go to a car salon and buy a new fancy car, cash. If you need a medical intervention, you can just deal with it because money is no object. However, after this miraculous ascent in functionality you can purchase, you get a weird situation where people can have exponentially more money than you, and they have to literally invent bullshit that does barely anything more, but costs insane money, just so that they could show that they can actually get something for that difference in wealth.

But that’s not how things work “up there”, in the real world. There, wealth/power is real, and it’s measured in soul-stuff. There, orders of magnitude do much more than buy stuff that’s invented so that you could pretend to be able to do more. The power differential is real, the way a power differential between a fire cracker, a 1 ton bomb and a thermonuclear device is real. Here, if you’re more powerful you can smoke an expensive cigar on your superyacht while you wait for the delivery of your new Rimac Nevera to complement your fleet of Bugattis. Among the Gods, if you’re more powerful you can correct the timeline, selectively freeze time, spend twenty years doing something and then go back twenty years in time to use the results instantly, you can create a universe to test a hypothesis, and you are actually spiritually capable of functioning on the same level with the fellow Gods. Here, it’s a silly game of pretence, where you act as if your power actually matters. There, it actually matters.

And the thing is, the effort it takes to earn a billion dollars, if we disregard luck which is actually hugely important, is actually comparable to the effort one would have to make in order to attain actual spiritual advancement that would produce actual, non-bullshit power differential in the real world, and this world so successfully hides those results, that barely anyone bothers with it.

Stories

I’ve seen photographic advice such as “your pictures need to tell a story”, and I’m thinking; nah, bro; I’m good. I mean, if I take a picture of a bee pollenating a rosemary bush, what story should that tell? I mean, other than the atmosphere of the moment, the light, the feeling frozen in time?

I’m freezing visual moments, you fit them into your own personal story any way you like. Sometimes there’s a story behind why I like to take pictures of a certain kind, but you will hardly see it in the picture itself. For instance, the horizontal light of the sunset taken through an innocuous object that just happens to be there:

The light is always out of focus, beyond reach and beyond resolution, and in a moment it’s gone, and magic is lost from the object that seemed to contain it. The story is the world itself – how it catches the light of God at specific moments, and then the light is gone and you see that it was never truly of this world, that there is nothing special here, and everything that makes it appear special is beyond it. Also, it’s the story about how I can’t go there yet, which is why those pictures always have a tinge of pain and nostalgia in them.

Sometimes there is no story – the reason why I like taking pictures of insects in flight is simply because it’s hard and I like the challenge, and when I make it, sometimes it looks magical and I like it because of that.

No particular story there, but feel free to insert your own. 🙂

Rainbow light on cobwebs started without any high aspirations of storytelling either – I just found it pretty.

One would think it’s chromatic aberration created by the lens, but nope, you can see it with the naked eye. It’s something about the cobweb breaking light like a string of tiny prisms. The lens just kept it there without interfering, which is why I love those optically perfect lenses.

Later, I understood that it actually fits a story of this world and its creator, who makes his cobwebs attractive with stolen light, so that he could devour his victims here. The real spiders of course prefer to keep their traps hidden and invisible, but that one prefers his traps to shine with the stolen light of God.

So, you can find stories there even if they were unintentional. Whenever I deliberately try to tell a story with photography, it feels pretentious and cringy, so I try to aviod it.

Cringe. 🙂