I could go on about various things that get souls destroyed in this world; for instance, atheism/materialism is spiritually fatal, and this world is the only place that creates conditions that make it a possibility. The souls, of course, carry a deep conviction of God’s existence within themselves from the real world, so they for the most part instinctively embrace some form of religion, because it “makes sense”, but some who hated God and always wished he didn’t exist or died, see this place as a haven full of possibility. Of course, for a soul atheism is suicidal; it negates the conditions that make its existence possible, because a soul lives only because it maintains a transcendental connection to the Absolute, through all its kalapas. Negating God is up there with all other terrible sins a soul can commit if it wants to destroy itself, and this world facilitates that by design.

So, one can feel fully justified in asking why creation of this world was allowed in the first place, and who is to blame? There must be some sort of responsibility for this, because it’s like digging up a deep hole in the ground, covering it with a carpet, putting advertisement and sign posts pointing to that direction promising great stuff, and when someone falls in, you say it’s their fault; you didn’t drop them in, you just dug up a hole, posted false advertisement to trick the gullible, and covered the hole so that its nature wouldn’t be obvious. When we put it like that, this is not a world, it’s a crime scene.

However, things are not that simple. Responsibility for this place is layered. The first, fundamental responsibility lies with God who created the necessary conditions that made this possible, by creating the Jewel, and allowing someone lesser than himself to allow or deny access. We can further reduce this part to the desire to allow lesser beings to have access to God’s creative power, because that was the motivation – God didn’t need the Jewel to create worlds, and if he himself guarded access, that would be the same as if saying that only he could use it. The point of lesser beings using creative power is for them to use it for purposes God wouldn’t think of, or allow. This is the reason why someone less than God had to be given the position of a Sentinel.

The second level of responsibility lies with the Sentinel, who did two things wrong: he allowed Sanat Kumar to create this hellhole, and he dismissed the warning.

The third level of responsibility lies with Sanat Kumar, who designed this world to be what it is, with full knowledge of what’s most likely to happen.

The fourth level of responsibility lies with the souls who discovered that this world allows for all kinds of things they always wanted to do, but had no option to do them – enslave, imprison, rape, maim and murder other beings, for instance. A large part of why this place is a hell is because of who lives here and what they like doing. Sure, a big part of suffering is caused by the world itself, but incarnate souls are certainly doing their part in making Satan’s dream come true.

So, without God taking pity on lesser beings and allowing them to use tools that are way above what they should normally have access to at their point of spiritual evolution, none of this would have happened. Without Sentinel being an arrogant fool, Sanat Kumar could do nothing. Without Sanat Kumar, who used the Jewel in order to create a godless dungeon that encourages evil and discourages devotion to God, the Jewel would probably be used for some benign purpose – and likely was, but we don’t know about it because it wasn’t a problem. And of course, without evil souls who used this place for all kinds of terrible things, it never would have become the hellhole it is now.

But let me be the Devil’s advocate here for a moment. I have a small axe, or you can call it a hatchet, that I use for splitting firewood when I’m making barbecue. It’s left here in the open on top of the box with wood. It’s not guarded or supervised, and yet nobody used it to split someone’s head open. There are also kitchen knives in the drawer, they are all unsupervised, and nobody used any of those to slaughter someone. There are cans of butane gas for the portable stove that I use for making breakfast when the electricity runs out, which sometimes happens here. Nobody had the brilliant idea of rigging the cans together and putting them on the induction stove to make a bomb. You can see what I’m getting at. If you have the mind of a criminal, you could use all kinds of harmless or otherwise useful objects for evil purposes. The fact that something exists that could potentially be abused doesn’t mean that the one creating the thing in question is responsible for a crime. People who make hatchets intended for people to use them for splitting wood or rough carpentry. People making kitchen knives intended for people to use them for cutting meat and vegetables. People making cars intended for people to use them for going places, not running into groups of people with intent of mass murder. It is implied that the responsibility for use of something lies on the user and not the manufacturer, except if the item itself is designed in ways that encourage evil use. For instance, if you design a truck with enforced structure and spikes and blades on the front, with intent of making it easier to injure people, that would count as designing something especially intended for evil uses. Manufacturing explosive devices that look like candy so that children would be encouraged to pick them up and be killed or maimed is also one such use, where the manufacturer is complicit in a crime. I don’t think the Jewel qualifies. He’s more like a computer that you can use to do whatever. If “whatever” means playing Super Mario, reading books, having some privacy or creating a VR of a magical forest with all kinds of beautiful things, nobody has a problem. There are, however, all kinds of uses that are a problem, but they are not a result of some malevolent use designed into the computer, but of malevolent aspects of human nature that use computers to create or watch child porn, trucks for vehicular homicide, and hatchets for splitting people’s heads open.

You can say that something as powerful as the Jewel shouldn’t have been left unsupervised. It wasn’t. However, the supervisor failed in his task. You can say the supervisor should have been someone better. Maybe, if there was a valid reason to suspect that Sentinel wouldn’t do a good job prior to the fact, he wouldn’t be appointed. It’s easy to be smart in hindsight. I was actually there and I warned the Sentinel not to grant access to Sanat Kumar, and he waved me off and even lectured me on developing more faith in God. If anyone is qualified to bitch about it, it’s me, and I’m not even sure what could have been done to prevent this mess other than not creating the Jewel in the first place, because it’s obvious now that giving non-Divine beings Divine power ultimately results in disaster. There’s a reason why great power comes with great wisdom and great holiness. Separating power from wisdom and holiness means to create conditions for great abuse of said power.

However, let’s make one thing clear. Sanat Kumar was a criminal and Sentinel was an idiot, but if it weren’t for the likes of you, Sanat Kumar would have created this world and listened to the crickets, because nobody would have gone in. All the arrogant souls wanted to test themselves, all the stupid ones rushed in and got wrecked, and all who wanted a place where they could live without God and be his enemies rushed in gladly. All the criminals who wanted to feel what it’s like to kill someone went in, thinking they finally found the true Heaven. The fact that all those souls got fucked here is not a tragedy. I guess one could say that God allowed creation of this place exactly because of his foresight, knowing that this will serve to purge Heaven of all kinds of bastards and scum, who will show their true colours here, be destroyed and the spiritual energy once contained in them will be freed and joined with better souls, all ultimately to the greater glory of God.

So, eventually it all depends on how you look at it. If you’re a bastard soul who went here because you thought you could do evil with impunity, or get an ego trip out of defeating Satan, you got fucked and now you’re whining and looking for someone to blame. Sorry, but fuck you. If you’re someone like myself who has to clean it up and it hurts like bloody hell, you’re complaining but you’re also growing bigger and more powerful so also, no tears should be shed over my fate. Sanat Kumar was already found guilty and killed for his crimes, so you can blame him all you want but he’s already been dealt with. You can blame the Sentinel for being an idiot, but he too is already dead so you can piss on his grave for all it will do. You can blame me for not intimidating the Sentinel and only using arguments, but he was put there to do his job and intimidating him into submission would defy the purpose of his post. You can blame God for creating the Jewel in the first place, and that’s a fair point, but please remind me why that even became a problem? Oh right, because there are asshole souls who wanted to use hatchets for killing people instead of splitting firewood, and please remind me why it’s actually bad that they all got destroyed?

As I said, it’s a complicated mess, and I’m not sure blaming anyone is the right sentiment. There are lessons to be learned, and there’s a mess to clean up, and there are hopefully ways to turn this into something good.

Volumes have been written about the spiritual dangers of arrogance, but even so, I don’t think people can imagine the level of hubris some advanced souls displayed when interacting with Satan and this world, or the level of harm such souls happened to sustain as a result of their foolishness.

However, this foolishness has a name; it’s a very specific kind. It’s name is belief that God can overcome everything, that God is absolutely supreme, and that their reliance on God, that created and evolved their souls to the point of being essentially archangels/demigods, will serve them as well here in this place, as it did in the real world, where they were born and where they evolved.

Yes, belief in God’s supremacy and in your position because you believe in God completely, is fatal arrogance. It’s the arrogance Sentinel displayed when he allowed Sanat Kumar to have access to the world-rendering engine, the Jewel, in order to perform his experiments, because God is perfect and supreme, so what evil could ever come of it? He believed no evil could happen because God would have prevented it, and even if it did happen God would easily have overcome it, so evil can’t be a really serious threat. And yet, it was God who put him in charge of the Jewel and making sure it’s accessed only for good reasons. He was warned not to grant access to Sanat Kumar, and yet he dismissed the warning, telling me I had ways to grow in my faith in God because my belief that there’s serious danger marks me as immature. Now he’s dead, and we’re all fucked. So yeah, faith in God is a form of fatal arrogance. If you have faith in God and you’re not God, you’re an idiot because you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s just your internal pep talk and self deception. You’re free to believe in God when you’re God doing God things. Before that, work on exchanging belief for actual experience and practical knowledge, because then you’ll actually know what you’re talking about. But that’s just my personal frustrations speaking. I hate it when I’m right and people don’t listen because “they know better”.

The problem with arrogance is that it’s the heads side of a coin that has another side, called humility. It’s a spiritual disease, an ego defect, a sign of a problem with your relationship with reality, and like the manic-depressive disorder that became known as the bipolar disorder, this one should be known as a singular issue that has two apparently opposite aspects. Remember when I said that I have no self-confidence whatsoever? Well, that’s the cure for the arrogant-humble disorder, because an arrogant-humble patient has baseless belief in the state of things that they can’t currently witness or work with as fact. They either believe they are great, or they believe they are worthless. They either aggrandise themselves, or diminish themselves. Both are symptoms of the same ego defect, because the solution is to just see what is real, and then say it’s real. To think is to know shit, basically. This is why I don’t trust in any kind of science that doesn’t produce technology, because technology is the kind of feedback from reality that shows that your science works. Cathode-ray tube and solar panels are the proof of the photoelectric effect. A working airplane is proof that your aerodynamics and propulsion theories are sound. If it doesn’t produce technology, it means it doesn’t have feedback from reality, which means it’s all bullshit as far as I’m concerned. It’s the same with God. God is reality, not theory. You’re either there or you’re not. Having an opinion is of no use. If you know what God thinks, either you’re a God-person who thinks that, or you’re suffering from an ego disorder.

“Knowing what God thinks” sounds like hubris and arrogance, but all the humble people suffer from the same condition. They all “know what God thinks”. They “know” they are unworthy or worthless, they “know” they are sinful, they “know” they deserve damnation and they can be saved only through God’s intervention. There’s a whole Bible of things they “know” about what God thinks about this or that. Their humility and their arrogance are the same coin. They are supremely arrogant to think they figured out God, and supremely humble before God as they figured him out. They just never got around to ask God, but there’s no need, because they believe and they have faith.

This profile of souls can apparently function just fine in Heaven, but their ego structure is a very bad match for the design parameters of this world, which exposes their vulnerabilities and attacks them instantly and viciously, and they sometimes have enough time to figure it out and solve their problem, and sometimes they get destroyed instantly, the way I already described – basically, challenge Satan to do his worst, here, in his playground, and that’s where your story gets a very bad turn. Thinking that God will overcome all may have served you well in Heaven, where God ruled supreme anyway, but here, you need to understand that Satan has actual permissions from God, and that you need to tread very lightly here and not make claims that won’t be backed.

It’s obvious how arrogance gets you in trouble, but humility somehow manages to get under the radar and present itself as cure for arrogance, rather than a different appearance of the same problem. However, this world is abundant with people and institutions who will tell you to obey them, and teach you that even thinking about refusing them means arrogance, and “we all know” God hates arrogance. So, every thief, every rapist, every murderer, every corporation and every government will want your humble compliance with their plans, and their argument will always be “Who are you to say no? What right do you have to say no?” It’s quite obvious how humility gets you instantly enslaved, because an assumption that you’re nobody, that you’re sinful if you think you’re better than anyone else, gets you in a position where you can’t actually deal with abusive people or institutions. So, people usually resort to arrogance as a defence, but having a fictitious defensive answer, to a question you don’t actually have an answer to, does not actually solve the problem. But, what does?

Let me tell you what I did when Satan attacked me once when I was half asleep and therefore the least able to resist. I told him “I surrendered and dedicated my entire being to God alone, and since you’re an expert in all things non-God, please, if you find anything on me that is not of God and devoted to God, by all means, either destroy it or take it with you because I have no need for it anyway”. Basically, I opened myself towards him and surrendered to his attempt to find any hypocrisy, falsehood or essentially anything not of God, and if he found it he could keep it. His presence went away instantly.

So, my interaction with Satan was not along the lines of “I’m going to fight you and win because reasons”, or “I’m unworthy because reasons, but I trust that God will protect me”. It was “I am ready to surrender to your test of my choice for God, and if you find falsehood in me, I will answer for it, if God allows it”. It’s neither humility nor arrogance. It’s just facts and reality. No ego, no opinions, no beliefs, no mental or emotional structures unbacked by reality. It’s merely “I built an engine, the nominal specs are here, feel free to test it”.

I’m not saying I’m completely impervious to the arrogance-humility disorder, because part of it is built into the biology of the species, but at least I’m aware of the problem and I’m trying to stay clear of the pitfalls as they arise. So, for the most part, I try to be neither humble nor arrogant. I merely state facts as I see them, and to the extent I’m allowed, and if you doubt them go ahead and verify if you think it’s within your sphere of competence. My answer to the “who do you think you are?” is always “I try not to think, especially when prodded by people I don’t care for”. I am who I am, it is what it is, it does what it does. What I think matters very little. Basically, the answer to an arrogant person trying to appear as a champion of humility and to drive me into a humble mode where they will be able to easily command me to my detriment and their benefit, is “I’m afraid you are talking to the wrong person, you confused me for someone who gives a shit”. “Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?” – “Someone who doesn’t give a shit about you”.

I know that the part about souls that grew up partially damaged due to systematic torture in this world by Sanat Kumar must have caught everybody’s attention, and it’s natural to ask oneself what would prevent him to do that to you. I actually asked myself the same question, because I was pretty much on top of his shit list.

The answer is, you apparently need to be stupid and arrogant enough to actually ask for it, and I wasn’t. Some, however, were. Imagine a being that’s basically a crystal of blue or deep violet vajra, thinking it’s indestructible, immortal and pure God-consciousness, coming here to deal with the Satan problem that seems to have been some kind of an issue to the weak souls that tried to solve it before, and smilingly challenges him to do his worst.

And Satan, of course, shrugs and says “you have a deal”.

You can imagine what happens next, and I don’t even want to go there, but that’s how you end up with a fatally broken crystalline soul that calls Satan “Master”, thinks there’s a rapist in every shadow and underground garage, and parents are people who psychologically and physically torture you. Such a person no longer listens because she thinks she knows everything already, and just wants to stay on Sanat Kumar’s good side by serving him in every possible capacity and avoiding anything that would possibly displease him.

Imagine being so arrogant and stupid as to enter this place on its owner’s terms and literally invite him to do his worst and thus give him permission to do so, that he would normally not have, and would have to play by the rules in order to avoid being punished for a karmic transgression himself. You might ask how someone so arrogant and stupid ended growing so big and powerful spiritually, and that’s where we come to the next thing I was talking about, how souls who evolved in the real world, the one God created, end up being very much perfectly formed and beautiful, but they lack imagination regarding evil, what it looks like, what it can do, and so on. Also, since they never actually had any experience with evil where they grew, they were never harmed or exposed to something really nasty, and so they don’t really get it. They don’t understand what it would be to grow up in poverty with parents who use you as a punching bag or whatever else. They don’t understand what it would be like to be sold into slavery, be carried away into a Roman whore house and repeatedly fucked by customers until you die in your early twenties. Those sophisticated souls who grew outside the realm of evil think bad things happen only to those who are evil themselves and thus deserve it, and they, pure meditation on an aspect of God, have no evil within themselves, and all evil will thus just wash harmlessly across their perimeter, taking no hold.

And then they wake up here, after having challenged Satan to do his worst because they believe in the power of God, and their tragedy begins, and goes on, and on, and on, and death doesn’t end it, and they end up as broken slaves of Satan, afraid of every shadow, afraid of every action that could cross him, and he needs but to raise an eyebrow at them for them to piss themselves.

That’s the story of fuck around and find out. To invite evil to do its worst against you isn’t faith in God. It’s arrogance and stupidity. Faith in God is to never test fate, but instead assume you are in real, deadly trouble, and hold on to God in every thought and action, never presuming to sin against even the Devil himself, but instead merely talk about how great and wonderful God is. This place is unfortunately a graveyard of the arrogant and the stupid, and mistakes were often fatal. Crushing the arrogant powerful souls is Satan’s specialty, and in order to challenge him in his seat of power you need to really be an idiot, because by doing that you become his property in a very true sense of the word, and you just removed any fear of punishment that would otherwise force him to be circumspect and roundabout in his ways. How much can he harm you? The answer is “yes”. But if you are respectful, mindful of your situation, and focused on God as an Ariadne’s thread in this world, following His silent presence in all things, Satan can tempt, he can test, he can offer you something similar to what you think is God in order to test your discernment, he can expose you to some degree of hardship to test your resolve, but he generally needs to be really careful about it.

You know, he actually did threaten me personally – he asked me if I realised what he can do to me here. You know what I answered? “I know, you can do immensely terrible things, but they would be your choice, not mine; and being your choice, they would also be your responsibility under the law of God”.

As you could probably guess from the previous article, one can be half enlightened, half fucked up, and overall a complete mess, and people in general don’t understand how that’s possible, thinking that you are either/or, but never both. Well, they are sort of right, because you can’t be a complete and perfectly pure soul crystal, let alone a person of God, and have issues such as trying to be a “strong independent woman”, or one of those “gurus” who are making a name for themselves but not in a good way.

However, “complete” or “full” anything is rare in this world; hardly anyone is a complete fool or a madman, let alone enlightened. A partially enlightened person, however, is a real test for one’s discernment. I’m not even talking about those occasional people with an experience of samadhi, but no virtues worth speaking of, and often little to no sanity either. They can call themselves enlightened, and they can even pass as enlightened in some misguided belief systems, but most people would correctly identify them as insane in some way and avoid them, so the amount of harm they can do is very limited. I’m talking about souls that are partially crystallised, and partially rotten like a bad tooth, who combine Divinity and Insanity in the same person, and provide evidence of both. Imagine someone espousing a worldview that combines feminism, satanism, Wicca and Vedanta, and powers that abominable mixture with a charisma and lesser miracles derived from an actual Divine internal source. Think it’s too far-fetched to be true? Think again. Enlightenment, madness, knowledge, ignorance, corruption and goodness can all coexist in the same person, creating abundance of mischief and confusion in the world that’s already fucked up as it is.

When we add this problem to the existing issue of people having very little clue on what actual spirituality and enlightenment looks like, what ends up happening is the unrealistic expectation of what a fully enlightened person is supposed to look like, when people put all those half-crazies on a heap, see what they are like, and conclude that a fully enlightened person would be nothing like that. They create an idealised image of some Jesus-like figure walking on air and water, raising the dead from the cemeteries as he passes by, glowing in the dark and not needing anything material for sustenance, that an actual Jesus could never live up to, and claim that anything less is fake and crazy.

That’s why I said that half-crazy, half-enlightened mixtures are a real test of one’s discriminatory abilities, because a common fool would either accept them uncritically, or reject a true incarnation of God due to inability to distinguish it from a partial one. The actual truth is that things are complicated, in both this world and the other one. Nothing can save you from using your brain for its intended purpose, which is what I keep repeating because it’s true. If there was a rulebook you could consult, all the fake gurus in the world would be the first ones to memorise it and make sure to pass all the checks and look most enlightened. The truly enlightened people, on the other hand, wouldn’t care about those things, because they aren’t trying to pass your checks and tests.

So, unlike what people normally think – that you have all kinds of fake gurus trying to present themselves as enlightened in order to benefit from deceiving people – the truth is even more complicated: you have crazy people who are deluded into thinking they are spiritual; then you have deceivers who may or may not also be crazy to some extent, who are in it for power and worldly benefits; then you have people who are actually enlightened to a degree, with some actual spiritual powers, but who are also seriously fucked up and half past crazy from high spiritual energies powering up their madness and karmic corruption, creating a fireworks of raw sewage combined with occasional pearls of actual holiness. And then you have the fully enlightened people who are usually accused of being fake and crazy because they look too ordinary. If you lack discernment, and in order to have the ability to discern you need to be able to recognise what God feels like, you are at risk of dismissing the real thing or accepting false guidance, and I don’t know which of the two is worse.

I know all of this sounds terrible, but tough shit, because that’s what we have to deal with here. This is not a world of clarity, but a world of mixed realities, where God, Satan and everything in between has been put in a blender, thoroughly mixed, and we now have to try to work through that mess with a goal of reaching the other end in no worse shape than we started with, and hopefully better. An inexperienced person has no chance of figuring anything out; they will get it wrong every single time, and even if they accidentally get it right, they’ll fuck it up in the next iteration. However, after multiple instances of getting it wrong and suffering, and getting it right and losing it by mistake, wisdom gradually crystallises in one’s soul and one develops an instinct that guides them, but it’s not always pointing at the right direction. One who chose evil will develop a reliable instinct for choosing evil and rejecting God in every next iteration. One who chose God will develop an instinct for recognising what God feels like, the way a magnet reliably recognises iron filings even when they are intermixed with sand. It’s not 100% reliable, but it improves, not because you develop experience, but because you develop virtuous inner qualities that react positively to God, and negatively to bullshit. That’s what spiritual evolution is about, and that’s why discernment is not an intellectual feature, but a symptom of a soul’s maturity and true spiritual status.

I mentioned only three major categories of souls – astral gas, vajra crystal and person of God – but this of course creates multiple valid questions. For instance, I mentioned crystalline souls with fractures, inclusions and all kinds of flaws, and I mentioned souls that have “jewels”, crystalline entities that belong to them while the rest of their soul is still of a lesser order – that apparently happens when someone accomplishes something great, that is above their normal level of achievement, so they are part crystal, part “gas”. Also, soul crystals exist in multiple orders of magnitude of energy, and in various sizes, so growth is possible in both quantity and quality. Typically, a blue vajra crystal would have to grow in size, and then some parts of the soul would obtain higher quality, for instance black or white substance which I used to refer to as “atmic level”, but I’m not sure this nomenclature is valid; I now call the black type shivaratri, and the white type, well, I don’t have a name for it but since almost nobody has any experience with it, that’s not really a problem. 🙂 Eventually, the large crystal of blue vajra would be compressed into a small one of black or white shivaratri, depending on your soul’s gender. Then there would be growth in size on that level, and what happens next is a secret, which I won’t reveal at this point in time.

But let us return to the things that actually matter to people reading this. Obviously, “organic” karmic aggregation through various lives and experiences produces “messy” outcomes; that’s actually the point, because otherwise God could just rubber-stamp perfect souls and be done with it. This way, we can get unexpected results, beings who grew in unexpected ways, which for the most part produces just lots of really fucked up souls of low quality that aren’t going anywhere and are evolutionary dead ends, which is then solved by pralaya, a periodic reset where such karmic abominations are wiped out, their constituent particles are joined with the successful souls that are willing to participate in the karmic cleanup (a very painful and nasty thing to endure, mind you, beside being quite demanding), and that’s that.

However, this messiness can extend to a higher soul-type, and so you get crystals that grew with inclusions and fractures, rather than a “clean” initiation into vajra, where one would attain purity, presence and independence of all four elements. What do those inclusions and fractures mean? Let’s say one’s spiritual evolution was from a path of a sannyasi, a reclusive monk meditating in his cave. Let’s say he attained abilities and states of consciousness of a pretty high and uncommon kind, but also has all kinds of stupid ideas about the “world”, about people living in it, about women, about people outside his caste and nation and so on.

In order to get rid of those inclusions, one would have to be born in a situation where he would experience things from a completely different perspective, and then either learn that he was wrong, or stubbornly persist in his inherited ways and really badly fuck up, in ways he can’t ignore, and come to the proper understanding in a more painful way. It’s a very nasty process and some would avoid it at all cost, which makes problems persist, or they would surrender the entire problem to God, which would make it God’s problem to solve.

In any case, such impurities are a very persistent mess, particularly because such highly evolved souls are stubborn in their ways and tend to think that their problems are not problems at all, but part of what makes them special and better than others. For instance, accepting any “spiritual person” as your superior at face value can seem like virtue of humility to people who went through a specific school of spirituality in past lives, but it makes them extremely vulnerable to all kinds of charlatans and beginners wearing orange robes, which causes all kinds of trouble. An opposite problematic issue would be unwillingness to listen to anyone because you assume you know better and everybody else is an idiot, because that’s what your past experiences had taught you.

Those are merely the simplest of examples, because when I say that organic evolution is messy, I’m not kidding. People who had all kinds of past experiences can have all kinds of trauma, misapprehensions and nonsense intermixed with deep understanding and ability, and sometimes you can have really tragic cases of souls that are on one hand very sophisticated and evolved, and on the other hand too fucked up to exist or function properly, for instance because Sanat Kumar intentionally tortured and broke them here; all those slaves who died in mines, construction sites, whore houses and fields of history, occasionally end up half-enlightened, having profound spiritual experiences and understandings that crystallise their soul, but on the other hand they have parts terribly deformed from multiple incarnations of serial rape and slavery in whore houses of ancient Rome or Middle East, or something equally nasty, and their spiritual structure is so fucked up and fragile, that its entire point seems to be about fear, defence of unhealed wounds, spiritual scar tissue and deformed understanding and growth into an abomination that would continue creating problems even past this world, because they aren’t letting go of their problems, or even understanding them as problems; they usually think their problems are solutions.

If this is insufficiently clear, try convincing a lesbian who had multiple past lives of being serially raped and whipped by men in some basement that being a defensive, aggressive man hating bitch is a problem rather than a solution, and you’ll get what I’m trying to say. And let’s say you have such a person that’s made of a combination of such scar tissue and fucked up mess, and blue or deep violet vajra. Good luck trying to explain anything to such a person; they evolved by shielding themselves completely from anything that even remotely smells of irritating their sensitive spots, and by concentrating on their strong spots as if they were a solution and not a completely parallel thing. As I said, you can’t heal someone’s wound if they think it’s not a wound but a shield that protects them. Such a soul exists in multiple realities – their wounds tie them to this world, while their strong points tie them to heaven, and if they resist solving their problems, I guess they get crushed in pralaya, and if something remains, it’s the part that was actually solid, but the mass of the resulting entity is always diminished compared to what it would have been had they actually got their shit together, saw the problem as a problem and solved it instead of nurturing it.

It’s not just the messiness of evolution that causes this type of issues; particularly, it’s evolution here, in this world, where serious delusions and misapprehensions can be intermixed with rapid growth through virtuous choices and good understanding, that seems to produce the worst of the mess. The solution is obvious – you need to “break”, understand that what you thought was your strength is just shit, that you got things wrong, and then you learn and actually grow in understanding, and then the soul crystal can actually heal. Sometimes, you need to understand that some things were just unfixable and wrong and they need to be written off, the way cancer needs to be removed in surgery, and the loss of mass, well, it’s not like it’s been doing anything useful where it was, really. You lose soul-mass, but you lose the part that was making you insane and leading you to doom, so that hardly counts as a loss anyway.

So, if evolution here potentially creates karmic abominations, what does evolution in the real world produce? Well, for the most part it produces beautiful and uniform growth, but also the complete inability to understand evil, because they were not properly exposed to it, and they also seem unable to understand the concept of dirty methods producing good results. They seem to have limited ability for unconventional problem-solving, or pattern recognition, and their ability to conceptualise “good” is rather simplistic. So, on the plus side, this world does something right. On the minus side, when the results are bad, they are incredibly bad; and, unfortunately, they typically are bad.