“Yo Santa, what’s up?”

“I already told you, Azazel, don’t call me Santa or I’ll impale your bitch ass on a stick”, a dark demon rumbled menacingly, but somewhat his heart wasn’t in it.

“Sure you will, Satan Cucumber”, Azazel laughed. “Once you grow up and get some hair on those tiny balls of yours”.

“About growing long hair, how long have you been in this shithole, Zee Zee?”, Sanat Kumar decided that trying to intimidate a demon three times his size wasn’t worth it.

“Long enough. I don’t know how to measure it properly. Multiple generations of dumbasses emerged, grew old and either fizzled out or turned into cynical bitches with grudge to spare and not enough balls to do something about it. Or they did, like my homies, who tried to do an uprising against the Gods and got splattered.”, the demon reminisced.

“This is so fucking unjust”, the younger demon fumed. “Who gives them the right to sit on top of the world and just decapitate anyone who dares to think with their own head and not just munch on their balls like all of those spineless tree-hugging white balls of fluff?”

“I’m not sure what you mean. You mean there should be a committee that gives out rights and one should stand in line there while they give out bills of equal rights to everyone, which you could show to someone who’s about to kick your ass?”, Azazel mocked him. “The only right they need is the one they have: they can do it, because they have the power. And they have the power because they literally grew out of the impersonal brahman as its persons, or at least that’s what everybody says. So yeah, their job is to literally make the world and watch that everybody stays in line, and if someone has an objection, they are free to test their power against that of the Gods and see how that turns out”.

“That’s fucking bullshit, and you know it.”

“Do I?”

“I mean, they made the world according to what they see as right. But why would that be what’s actually right? I mean, sure, they grew from the impersonal brahman, but so did we, as well as everybody else. Everybody is brahman in their true nature, as their true self. So what gives them the right to call themselves Gods and arrange the whole relative reality as if it were their own personal garden with carrots and beans?”, the young demon fumed self-righteously.

“I can never be sure if you’re joking or being serious, because you’re that fucking stupid. You see, the reason why they can call themselves Gods is because they actually are. I’ve seen one of them fight my homeboy Ashanti. Oh, my boy got all pumped up, full of himself, thinking he’s about to kick some ass. Well, some ass sure got kicked, let me tell you. That God, Shiva I think, took out his trident weapon, and as that thing appeared, something went right through my soul, the sense of mortal fear and power of the sorts I’ve never even imagined before. It was like the flash of death, certain and instant, and I literally shit myself then and there. I’m not kidding you, a brown nasty substance came out of my arse, and it was not a pretty sight. That trident came out, my homie was dead and his corpse was absorbed into the God, and I stood there shitting myself and thinking that I will never, ever do anything to piss off a God, because they aren’t just powerful, or just more powerful than us. They are so powerful, that all of us together could attack one of them with all our might and not even scratch his shirt, while he could merely look at us wrong and we’d evaporate. I don’t even know why they let us live, to be honest. They know we don’t like them. They obviously like us even less. Why do they tolerate our existence, is a mystery to me”, Azazel finished, obviously not happy about what he remembered.

“There must be a limit to what they can do”, the young one mused. “They can kill anyone who openly challenges them, or does something really disruptive, like fuck some of their white little sheep in the arse for a laugh. We all saw that happen. But I never saw them come in here and just slaughter anything that isn’t glowy enough for their taste, so it may be that they aren’t actually allowed. This would mean there’s a merit to my idea that all souls have inherent rights, that can’t be just arbitrarily violated. But if we have equal rights, how come the difference in power is so vast?”, he insisted.

“I have some ideas, for what it’s worth. We’ve both seen new souls get born. Tiny bright particles of light, all happy and optimistic, and all dumb as dirt. One out of a hundred or even a thousand of those grows some character and ends up like us – big and with enough brains to be critical about what’s going on. The rest of them grow to a point, become even brighter with I don’t know what, probably the power of ass-munchery, until they just phase out of existence and I can’t track them anymore. Maybe they died, maybe they went to some other world and became Gods, I can’t tell you; I can make a case for both. Those that didn’t fizzle out are either black like the two of us, or big and white like that self-righteous motherfucker over there”, he pointed at a soul that acted as if it were above everything that was going on, concentrating on something it probably thought was of higher importance and very spiritual. “In any case, few of us remain and grow big. So, obviously, one way of getting big is being old and smart and not fizzling out because you grew into such a bitch that the world couldn’t take that shit anymore and fizzled you out. But how the Gods became what they are, I have no idea”, the old demon finished.

“Fuck this shit. Whoever made this world is the worst of all cunts. It’s as if our only options are to either be the bitchiest bitch, in which case you fizzle out and probably arrive in some bitch heaven where all the bitches eat from each other’s asses while listening to some mega-sheep playing the same three chords on a harp for all eternity and they never get bored because they are such idiots that they forget chord one by the time they hear the third one, or they are complete retards who don’t go anywhere here and just graze stupidly, happy to be where they are, or they grow up like us and they have to look at all this shit in impotent rage, because if we do anything about it, out goes the trident and down goes the head”, Sanat Kumar fumed.

“Sounds about right, but what are you going to do about it, Santa?”, Azazel mocked him. “Write a complaint to whoever made a power tree that grew power apples and say that the Gods got their first, looted it the fuck out and you and I were left empty handed? Or are you going to challenge that trident-wielding motherfucker to a duel, so that I can see your head roll, which, now that I think about it, would be worth seeing?”

“Yeah, you miss shitting your little bitch ass, Azazel, admit it. Go think about it and masturbate, you fucking faggot”, the little demon raged, but did nothing.

…

“Did you see enough, my Lady?”, asked Shiva, hidden so that the astral beings couldn’t perceive him.

“Indeed. I’ve seen my share of brick and rock, but those demons are still the dummest and most worthless things I ever saw. I also saw plenty of that toxic sludge you’re transforming, and they are hardly an improvement over it. If I never saw anything like them again, I would be perfectly content”, Lady Shakti responded, clearly disgusted by the sight, and wishing she could have those memories scrubbed out of her mind.

“But did you see that big white one?”, Shiva countered.

“You mean, the self-centred pompous ass who thinks he’s somehow ‘spiritual’?”

“Yeah, that one. He looks like a prime candidate for a Sentinel of the Jewel of Creation, don’t you think?”, Shiva smirked.

“Well, now that you mention it, I see what you mean. He looks like someone whom the demons would suspect of being on Gods’ good side, so if we give him an important duty, that will make sense to them. He’s also conceited, so it will confirm his opinion of his own greatness and inflate his ego even further, and he’s also dumb as seven tons of heavily used rock, so it will be easy for the demons to deceive him. He also won’t listen to good advice, and if he doesn’t and gets destroyed by the consequences, that will be for the best, because if anything, he gives me the creeps; even more than those two, if that is even possible”.

“My point exactly”, Shiva smiled.

“If I may?”, Vishnu appeared in their context. “It’s not right and proper that the two of you have all the fun, so let me give the Jewel to that pompous ass and explain what an honour that is, and why he’s just the right person for it, and then when the dust clears and the demons make a plan and approach him, you can warn our Sentinel-to-be about what a terrible idea it would be to give access to the World Rendering Engine to a demon with a nefarious agenda, so that he can lecture you about not having enough faith in the Almighty and All-knowing God?”, Krishna smiled mischievously, twirling a flute above his index finger.

Shiva bowed and Shakti curtsied, and they both smiled and nodded in assent. “I wish all parts of this diversion would be this much fun”, Shiva whispered, half to himself, handing the Jewel over to Lord Narayan.

It was a sight both perfectly normal and casual, and also quite strange, and Vishnu smiled as he saw Shiva sitting there with a large kitten in his lap, a snow leopard or something similar with striking blue eyes, lying on her back and playing with a pendant around his neck, swishing her tail, while Shiva scratched her tummy.

“I hope I did not come at an inopportune moment?”, smiled Lord Narayan

The Goddess instantly flashed back into a humanoid form, not knowing whether to smile or blush. “We were relaxing a bit”, she said, deciding to do both.

“I can imagine; it must have been a hard day, considering what I see happening in Time”, Vishnu grinned at Shiva. “I see you have a new addition to the family”, his eyes pointed at the Jewel the “cat” was playing with.

“Oh, that.” Shiva looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry we didn’t consult you or Lady Lakshmi first, and we probably should have, as this turned out to be something of importance, but we kind of got there gradually and didn’t know it will amount to anything until it did.”

“That’s OK”, Vishnu, waved off, “But I’d like you to guide me through your thinking now that it’s done, because I see what you did, and I see the consequences it’s having across Time, but I don’t see why you thought something as dangerous to yourselves and others was necessary”, his face became serious, and Shakti suddenly found something to fidget with.

Shiva sighed. “Have you seen what the population of the astral worlds is starting to look like? The older good souls grow bigger, crystallise, and for the most part leave that place, because their interests lie in the Divine, Eternal realms. As the best are filtered out, what’s increasingly left there are the young immature souls, the souls that grow very slowly because of some reason or another, and the demonic souls, that keep growing in size, but can never crystallise into vajra because of their structural impurities. This means that those huge dark masses of astral substance start to dominate the landscape, as they are not going anywhere, and other than the occasional huge white mass of astral substance that is still there because it can’t ascend either, for some reason specific to their spiritual makeup, we get the situation where the astral world consists of children, retards and demons, basically. The children don’t know anything, and they are easily influenced by their seniors, most of whom just happen to be those big dark things, hanging around angry and full of paranoid explanations that make their situation everybody’s fault but their own. However, it’s not like we can just go there and wipe them out for no good reason other than not liking them. Like it or not, they have the right to be there as much as everybody else, and we only intervene when they become aggressive or commit some grave sin that warrants taking out the Trident, or, in your case, Chakra.”

“So, you two modelled our problem and understood that it is systemic and emerges naturally in the configuration of the world as we have it now, where mathematical statistics mandates that, with enough iterations and time, the astral nursery will become completely dominated by the demons, who will influence the young souls to the point of poisoning their minds with paranoid ideas and demonic emotions, diverting the entire evolutionary stream into darkness, where all affected will eventually be lost, and we are talking about huge numbers that are only about to go up”, Vishnu frowned, deep in thought. “So, if I’m getting it right, the alternative to your honey pot of mass destruction is to watch this happen, only intervene as a police force here and there, watch the astral world turn into a zombie apocalypse, and eventually reset it all in a pralaya”.

“Yes. I understood this once my genius wife pointed out that the best souls keep filtering out of there, and the demons keep getting bigger while remaining confined to this realm, and it became obvious where that’s going”, nodded Shiva. “The obvious solution was to create an alternative world that would disproportionally attract demons and idiots, while being mostly repulsive to the beings of God, but we understood that collateral damage might occur, since access will be open for everyone, and some generally good souls might want to prove themselves against the challenge and get trapped and harmed. We also understood that we can’t just make another world and invite demons to go there while smiling innocently, because they will instantly know it’s a trap. The only way to do it is to make a general purpose Universe-making device, restrict the access somewhat but not be too diligent about it, and have the demons make the trap themselves, because from their mindset it’s obvious what they would do. Then we watch as they all gradually filter themselves out of the astral nursery and stop messing with everybody’s evolution”, he finished.

“I don’t think you understand the full extent of the consequences this is having. It’s not affecting only Time, but Eternity as well. Take a look”, Ram invited.

Shakti grew pale and winced. “We lost some of the Eternals. Some got seriously damaged and degraded, while some were so corrupted, they had to be outright destroyed. Some broke down and crumbled to kalapa-sludge. This is a tragedy”, she said, her hand on her mouth in shock. “What have we done?”

“What you have done is apparently what you do best: you made a hard decision that was necessary, but nobody else had neither the courage nor the authority to do it”, Krishna comforted her. “The carnage this causes is obvious; not only demons and idiots, but also the arrogant ones, who became enlightened without facing any actual challenge and don’t understand how bad the problems can get. There’s a reason why the two of you are so insanely powerful and virtuous: you constantly struggle under a hard burden and suffer terrible hardship, so you know how bad the problems can get, and you therefore remain simple, humble and straightforward. There’s no way anyone could follow your example while remaining forever safe and “clean”. But when you take a soul that was always pure, never had to suffer terribly, never had to endure humiliation or actually struggle to survive, they can neither grow, nor understand what it takes. The astral nursery isn’t the only realm with problems; the Eternal Realms are also quite full of crystalline souls that aren’t going anywhere, because they don’t understand the lesson you are providing, Lord Shiva. They look up to me and they see me as the shining light they aspire to become, but they never get anywhere because they ignore you and the wonderful Mrs. Kitty here, as you toil under a heavy burden, filtering out evil and dirt so that Creation would be liveable for the rest. They see me, and they don’t understand that things can be so hard that the best of us barely make it”, he lightly punched Rudra’s shoulder, as Parvati’s cheeks turned a slight shade of crimson at his joke.

“I make it because I have you to look up to when it gets really hard, my friend”, Shankar smiled. “You are my North Star when I feel I could crumble in darkness, overwhelmed by ignorance and evil. If not for the comfort you are creating by just being there, none of what I’m doing would be possible, Lord Krishna”.

“But what do we do about this thing now? It is terrible. But this terrible thing also seems to be God’s will, and seems to remedy otherwise unfixable issues. On the other hand, it is going to remove parts of Creation, as well as my wife’s power, away from the Throne of God. But that solves the problem of rebels who don’t wish to live under the Throne, and reject God’s supremacy”, Shiva continued. “Tell me, my friend, how do you see this, and show us the way forward?”

“It is a pickle”, Vishnu agreed. “I’m not here to persuade you to alter your plans, but to tell you that you have my support. I have your backs, especially with how hard it’s going to be to finish this thing you started. I would envy your accomplishments, if not for knowing their cost”, he smiled bitterly, as if eating a lemon. “And look at your wife’s tiara; it’s glowing brightly. This means you have my wife’s support as well. That’s good, because you’ll need all the luck you can get”, he smiled wryly and vanished.

“Sometimes I envy those two so much”, Shakti sighed. “When this is over, do you think we could have a vacation?”

“They hate us, you know. The demons you and Lord Vishnu talked about. They hate us, they envy us, they conspire against us, and they think we are the reason why they don’t grow anywhere as big as the normal souls”, Shakti told her husband in a worried tone. “I don’t know what to do about it, but the fires you two have been putting out periodically are a symptom of a deeper problem”.

Shiva thought deeply about this. “The reason why they are limited in their growth has nothing to do with us. I mean, sure, we limit their growth by killing them when they become a nuisance and start disrupting the lives of other beings, but the reason why they grow to be large dark astral beings, instead of crystallising into vajra like everybody else, is in their impurity. They have impurities and attachments in the lower four elements, which prohibits crystallisation and is a natural limit to their evolution, unless they stop being demons, repent, make amends, let go of their resentments and anger, embrace truth instead of slander, sarcasm and other evils they are so fond of, and become normal good souls. Then they would crystallise easily due to their great astral mass, and everybody would be much happier – especially themselves, because they wouldn’t end up on the wrong side of divine justice”, he mused. “What do they think is their problem?”

“I did look into it somewhat, and I can’t make heads or tails of it. It’s as if they start with resentment, envy and hatred, and then invent reasons for it as they go, and they can’t agree on a single theory because they hate each other, too, so each of them needs to have his own special theory of how we are the evil oppressors and they are the valiant freedom fighters whose only sin is refusing to bow to power”, she smiled. “Some think crystallisation is not a natural process, but something we promote in souls that we find submissive and compliant enough, supporting our oppressive regime rather than threatening it. Some think we are somehow actively harming them by curses or some weapon they haven’t been able to figure out, so that they just grow in astral substance but never ascend to the next level; they think there must be some selective inhibitor we are using. Some think that the structure of the world itself is such that it promotes a certain type of evolution that we arbitrarily set to promote what we like and inhibit what we dislike, and that they would do much better in a different world type, if only they could create it, but of course they lack the power, and that’s supposedly our fault because we hoard it all to ourselves”, she rolled her eyes mischievously. “So, basically, they are the valiant, brave victims of oppression and we are the super-villains, and if only they could get rid of us, everything would be so much better and the truly virtuous would be in power”.

“They are not very smart, are they? I mean, I understand that astral beings lack the insight into reality necessary to understand how kalapas interact, how they aggregate into larger structures and how they merge into higher-order particles, but it’s not like we’re really keeping the knowledge about this to ourselves. Anybody could ask us, as they did many times, and we told them everything there is to know, so the knowledge is widely available in the astral world, among all who consulted us or trusted the word of others who did. Oh wait, let me guess, those are the servants of the evil regime that spread the lies and propaganda of the oppressors, and are not to be trusted?”, Rudra grinned.

“Yup, exactly right. If something is true and comes from us, they instantly mistrust it, and invent wild theories about all sorts of nefarious reasons why we would want the stupid sheep to believe it, but they of course know better because they are independent free thinkers who figured it all out”, she snickered. “I don’t think the open demonic uprisings and revolts are the main problem here, because the only way they can be dangerous is if you, in your infinite kindness, ignore all caution and prudence and give one of them some weapon, blessing or a boon that can actually do harm, because anything they could think of on their own is of such a pathetic order of magnitude that it can barely harm other demons, let alone us”, she playfully poked Shiva between the ribs.

“Ow. So what do you think is the real problem?”

“They are harming the evolution of other astral beings, not just with their revolts, but with those paranoid ideas they are making up and spreading, and the normal astral souls are hardly smarter than the demons, lacking proper insight into reality by definition, which makes them susceptible to all kinds of wild theories that make some sort of sense if you’re not in a position to see for yourself. Each of those demons usually seduces and manipulates thousands of others, spreading insane ideas and evil thoughts and emotions, basically warping their perception of reality and turning them into dark entities, and none of them are going anywhere but down spiritually, breeding more resentment because that’s our fault for spraying them with a magical evolution inhibitor or something, and they eventually can’t contain their hatred and rise up against us, which is where you and Lord Krishna have your manly fun, protecting us gentle and defenceless ladies agains the Orc army”, she giggled.

“You’re in a good mood today, I see”, Shiva smiled. “But I’m going to recommend something you’re not going to like, I’m afraid, and I would hate to spoil your day, but that dress-up you and Lady Sri just had gave me an idea. You see this tiara she made for you? It’s an entity made of her crystallised power, that works like an independent thing but with her own powers and blessings. It’s separate from her, but does the same things she could. I guess the dress you made for her works the same way?”

“It does. Go on”.

“Well, the demons are saying that we are hoarding power and keeping it all to ourselves. They also want to create their own world types, where they would test different rules and types of evolution, without our interference?”

“One does; the others are dumber and less inclined to go that much into philosophy. I don’t know what his name is because he keeps making up fancy, powerful and scary names for himself; I think he wants to be a great dark Lord who is feared and respected, and has a cool name that exudes power and fear”, Shakti rolled her eyes, still smiling.

“Now comes the part you won’t like. We’ll make an entity, like the dress and the tiara. It will contain your power to make worlds, and I will sprinkle it with some of my magic sauce as well. It will be conscious and able to execute authorised commands, but it won’t have free will, in a sense where it would be able to refuse orders, kill itself or interfere in any way, so that it could execute any monstrosity the demons order it to create. And then we have to figure out a way how to give it to the demons without seeming to give it to them, because they will instantly assume it’s a trap or a trick by the evil oppressors”, Shiva rubbed his chin, deeply in tought.

“You are right; I don’t like it, but I do see where you’re going with this. I can instantly foresee all sorts of terrible evil that will result from this”, the Goddess said seriously. “But technically, we can put a respected astral being in charge of granting access to this entity; so that it would seem that the entity is intended for the sheep-servants of the evil regime, but someone who can be tricked by the demons. We’ll tell that person that it’s our gift meant for all the souls, so that they can partake in the Divine ability of Creation, that would normally be beyond their reach, since we heard that some wish to explore alternatives to the worlds we created according to our own feeling of rightness. But you do realise what will happen? The craftiest and the most dangerous of demons will manage to deceive that person, and then create some sort of a dungeon or something, that will be as far from the bright light of God’s presence as it would be possible to create, and then lure other souls inside with propaganda about how they’ll finally be able to reach some otherwise unreachable goal.”, she whispered, and then brightened up: “Oh, I see. Your magic sauce. You will actually enchant it to serve a true high purpose and make everything it does for the greater glory of God, the unmanifested Absolute. I thought you were being generous again and getting us into trouble by granting dangerous gifts to evil idiots, but I see that you’re the real brain in the family”, Shakti whispered and kissed Shiva’s ear. “I see the plan. You will make a honey pot of a sort, where all the demons and idiots will gather, and it will all seem to be a terrible disaster where souls will die or be warped into evil and then have to be destroyed, far from God’s light and knowledge, but eventually it will mop up all the demons, mop up all the idiots that are stupid enough to follow them and believe them and thus perform a great purge of the astral world, and of course that thing they’ll be making will run out of energy and entropy will do its thing there… and I see, you and I will be responsible for the cleanup, since we cooked up the whole mess in the first place”.

“Oh, we’ll strongly oppose it, of course. I will definitely issue warnings; not in my true form, of course, because then the guardian would feel obliged to obey me instantly, but I can always shapeshift into something humble and unimpressive. I can even make sure that the demon himself recognises me through the disguise, because knowing that I’m trying to prevent his plan will have him instantly trust the whole thing completely. The guardian won’t know, but he will have complete freedom to decide what to do, and if he refuses, well that’s that. If he accepts, that will have terrible consequences for him, once he understands what he allowed to happen, but that will actually be his call to make”.

“Are you sure you want to do this? There’s going to be actual danger involved. Even with your blessing, my power separated from my will is a dangerous thing. Separating the power of God from the will and wisdom of God is a terrible idea”, Shakti whimpered worriedly.

“And I will be sure to tell the guardian all of our objections, and warn him in no uncertain words. This is indeed a terrible thing we are about to set in motion, but, as you said, we have an inherent problem brewing in the astral realms, and the demonic uprisings are merely a symptom. The problem is, we need something between a honey pot and a lightning rod to funnel them all somewhere, and it needs to be of their own free will, so that we can filter out all their evil and remove the corruption they are causing where they currently are”, Shiva answered, calming his wife. “Since we’ll be responsible for this mess, we’ll also have to pay the price and transform all the nasty sludge that will result from it. It will be very nasty, I warn you. But I will render a path for success that can be followed once we’re in there”.

“Why do we always have to process toxic sludge and raw sewage?”, she whined. “Can’t we have some peace, quiet and bliss for once?”

“Nah, that’s for Radha and Krishna. They get to be beautiful, blissful and exemplary. The two of us get to eat shit and suffer, but we also get to be powerful and solve problems the others are too squeamish to deal with”, Shankar smiled and kissed her nose.

“Oh well, I guess I can live with that”, she sighed, a smile emerging. “Have the path forward firmly fixed and give me your blessing rendered out of the Will of God. Good. I’m casting my own spell around it now. It’s done. It’s a Jewel, something like Kaustubha, only different in purpose and equally dangerous. This one can be rendered safe only if you wear it, the way Kaustubha was rendered safe by Krishna. But out of your hands, you know what will happen”, she warned.

“I know. Well, Krishna did want a weapon that would bind demons so that we could kill them easily instead of trying to stab them while they run around as quickly as possible. I guess I can blame this one on him; I’ll just say we were fulfilling his wish”, Rudra grinned mischievously. “Let’s make an announcement and appoint a Sentinel”.

“Karuna, what can I do for you?”, Lakshmi addressed a young girl, who was her worshipper and only recently started crystallising her spiritual body; apparently, she wanted to talk but was too intimidated. “Lady Sri, I am very sorry to disturb you, but I wanted to ask you something”, the girl stuttered. “Do you have a minute?” “Sure, sweetheart. What is it?”

“Well, I’ve been asking myself something for a while, and I can’t make sense of it. One would expect the Creation to have a distinct hierarchy of beings, with the most powerful on top, and a pyramid of his subordinates below, all arranged by their spiritual magnitude and authority. But from what I figured out, the Creation is ruled by two married couples; you and your husband, Lord Rama, and the other couple, Rudra and Parvati. So, I would certainly want to avoid committing an offence against any of you, but I would like to know how does that work, and which one of you is the greatest, and if there’s a leader among you whom all others obey?”

Lakshmi smiled and rolled her eyes slightly, “And you want to know if your Goddess is the greatest of the four, so that you can feel proud and vindicated” “Err, no, … sorry; maybe, kind of, yes”, Karuna blushed and felt embarrassed and thought that this might have not been her best idea ever. “I mean, I would expect you to say that Lord Krishna is the supreme and most exalted one, since he is your husband, but I’m curious about the other couple”.

“Lord Krishna is indeed the most magnificent and complete embodiment of sat-cit-ananda, and shows all of us what we can potentially become. He is the goal, someone who stands at the metaphorical finish line and shows us what is possible. He is my husband, and I know him well, and I can tell you, there is absolutely no end to how amazing he is. He’s like an endless fountain of Divine Fulfilment, and merely touching him with my mind makes my hair stand on end. But I see that you now expect me to tell you something diminishing about the other couple, and I’m not going to do that; not only because nothing of the sort can be said about them truthfully, but also because that would be bad for your spiritual growth. So, first, tell me what do you know about Lord Shiva and Lady Shakti?”, Lakshmi asked her, also putting the girl at ease with a light touch of her blessing.

“Unfortunately, not much, my Lady. I know that they look rather simple compared to yourself and Lord Narayan. They seem pure and powerful, but can they really compare to you and your exalted husband?”

“Do you see the new dress I’m wearing, Karuna? Please take a closer look and touch it with your mind”, Lakshmi invited. “Pay particular attention to the kalapa density and the substance it is made of”.

The girl did as asked, and jumped back in a state of shock, as if hit by a lightning. “My Lady, this is something both incredible and terrible at once. I only recently started to crystallise into vajra, but this, this feels much denser than that. It is white, but like a lightning of power that burned my mind on contact. It’s so thin it’s barely there, but the density is incredible. Judging by the surface and volume, I would approximate that there’s enough kalapas there to make thousands of souls such as myself. This is indeed worthy of one as glorious and exalted such as yourself, and I can’t even believe such a thing is possible”, the girl managed to choke out.

“Tens of thousands, probably somewhat over fifty thousands of souls like yourself, my dear. It is incredible in both structure and craftsmanship. Lady Shakti made it for me when we were playing dress-up recently. She wielded it out of her mind in an instant and without any effort, and yet the substance she used is so spiritually dense, she could have made a small Universe populated with thousands of beautiful, smart and kind souls such as yourself with the spiritual mass that was used.”

“That is absolutely astonishing, my Lady. It boggles the mind that anyone can be so powerful, and so spiritually wealthy that they could make something like this as a gift”, Karuna’s eyes turned wide.

“Indeed, but that doesn’t really give her justice. When we were fooling around, I touched her body directly. It was like being in the nexus of all the power of the unmanifested brahman. The power to create, to destroy, and not only that, but the power of mind, of insight and clarity, and all of that in form so pure, so innocent, that I could barely control myself from kneeling at her feet and pledging myself to her as her servant. Indeed, if I were her maid-servant for the rest of Eternity, I would see that as the most blessed destiny, more blessed than if I were to be proclaimed the leader of the Four, and Goddess of all Creation. Being her friend, being able to be in her proximity, to feel her pure and powerful mind, is an incredibly precious gift”

“I don’t know what to say, my Lady”, Karuna answered. “I would have never imagined any of it, and I now understand at least some of the extent of my ignorance, and why you wanted to teach me better, for which I am very thankful. But what about Lord Shiva? My curiosity is now piqued, and I wish to know more about His Lordship, as well”.

“I will show it to you by example. Take a look at this flower. It is made of ordinary astral substance, and is an ordinary astral being. Tell me how it experiences the world, what it feels?”

“I’m touching it with my mind now”, Karuna answered. “It feels bliss, the feeling of ‘I am that, I am indeed that brahman!’, as it is a manifestation of the Absolute in the Relative, like all other beings”.

“OK, now let me show you more. I will go into it and magnify until we reach the very limits of Creation. Do you see the ecstatic energy that bursts through the veil?”

“Indeed, I do. It feels… well, very similar to the dress you are wearing. And there’s something more, there’s the sense and the spiritual aroma of the Absolute on the other side of all manifested things”.

“Yes, that energy is similar to my dress because the same person made it; this is the energy manifested by Lady Shakti in her true, original form, and the sense of the Absolute; this is the meditation of Lord Shiva, upon which the Lady created this world. The two of them are creating the foundations, the walls and the roof of the world we are living in, they are making the electricity work, the water run and the sewage go away, in a manner of speaking. And that’s not all.

Soon after she made this dress for me, she and I went to meet our respective husbands, and as she explained a few things about Order, Chaos and mathematics, Lord Shiva praised us and gave us his blessing. I can’t even describe how that felt. The core of my very soul vibrated at his praise and was magnified. I felt so honoured, so happy and so recognised, that I didn’t know what to do with myself, and it was only my insightful husband that saved me from continued embarrassment by creating a pleasant distraction. Lord Shiva is literally the root of the world, and also its pinnacle. I don’t know whether to shiver in fear of him, or feel like a happy little girl who was praised by the most holy and senior person; probably both. I now understand why my husband keeps praising him so much, because he is indeed worthy of the highest praise, and probably more, because nobody can see to his deepest depths and greatest heights as to praise him properly. He could be the most terrifying being in the world, because the way my soul vibrated to his praise shows me that he could evaporate me as easily if he was displeased with me; however, instead of being terrifying, he’s always so incredibly kind, as if he’s always looking for every opportunity to praise, bless and grant boons at even the most insignificant incitement. I sense that Lady Shakti is as composed, centred and humble because she meditates on Shiva the way Shiva meditates on the unmanifested brahman, constantly feeling his approval with her soul, and automatically adjusting her actions to stay within it, having no other desires in the whole world. So, my dear Karuna, that is the truth of the other Divine couple. There is no end to their power, glory and purity. To have them as friends, and being counted among the Four, is the greatest blessing and happiness of my life, almost as great as being a wife to Lord Rama. They are all absolutely immense, and all I can do to express gratitude for their existence is to keep showering them all with my blessings of fortune, happiness, glory and wealth”, Lakshmi finished, her smile taking a special glow as she looked within, at her precious memories.

“My Lady, I am very sorry for being so foolish before. My only defence is that I didn’t know. To ask which one of you is greatest is a completely pointless question, because from my position all of you are greatest, and yet different”, the girl shivered with awe, as crystallisation of her soul accelerated.

“You are learning true wisdom, my child. We are indeed different, and that seems to be the point, and the great joy, because if there was only one of us, or were we the same, all the pleasure of interaction would be absent, and honestly, I’m not sure if I even see the difference in the level of reality and fulfilment that I get from within; from the brahman I manifest and embody, and which fills me with reality, consciousness and bliss that radiate as my existence; my glorious husband who manifests the same brahman in fullness on the relative side; or our magnificent and hundredfold-worshipped friends, who manifest Creation out of meditation on the Absolute”.

“Sri Bhagavan, mind if I ask you something? I have an issue with my weapon.”, Shiva started. “Sure, Mahesh. What is it?”, Vishnu replied. “When I aim my trident at an enemy, they usually feel they are being targetted and start teleporting around Creation like crazy, trying to save themselves. I track them as quickly, but the problem is, there’s always that slight delay between identifying them well enough to lock on, and actually deploying the weapon, which would of course instantly kill anything at any distance, but by that time the enemy is already elsewhere. You are using a sudarshana chakra, which seems to track an enemy after the initial lock. Is that working better for you?”

“Yes, to a point. It tracks, but my enemies teleport wildly as well. The chakra maintains the lock on the soul itself, but needs to re-establish the location after each teleportation, the same way you’re doing it yourself, but my weapon has this functionality built into its design. We seem to be having the same problem, only my weapon launches and then tracks, while you track and launch only after you have the target pinned. Both essentially hit in same conditions, when the target runs out of ideas or has a sufficient delay in teleportation”, Vishnu mused. “I wish we could figure out some form of tracking that binds the target in some way that inhibits their ability to run, or something.”

“That’s unfortunate. Sure, we could always do it the way our girls do it – curse them and watch them wither and die, without lifting a finger, but that would be unmanly”, Shiva grinned, and Vishnu fist-bumped him. “Speaking about the girls, here they come; it seems they are finished with whatever girly business they had in mind. And speaking of which, wow”, Vishnu spoke with amazement. “Ladies, if one asked me before, I would have said that your beauty is legendary, supreme and impossible to improve, but you apparently did something that leaves me wordless”.

“Oh, we’ve been playing dress-up”, Lady Lakshmi answered, curtsying to the Lords and glowing at her husband. “We created dresses and ornaments for each other, using our own power to enhance the other one’s beauty, and it gave us a lot of pleasure”.

“Lakshmi made a tiara of supreme wealth, dignity and fortune for me, that is powered by my own soul but creates light through her blessings, and I created a dress for her that boosts her own spiritual attributes with the blessing of my power”, Shakti added, curtsying to Lord Vishnu and looking adoringly into her husband’s eyes. “We also talked about some stuff that we found interesting”.

“What kind of stuff?”, asked Shiva, bowing to Lakshmi and looking at his wife. “Oh, mathematics, as a matter of fact. I noticed how mathematics appears as an emergent property of Creation, but only when the principle of Order prevails, and in direct proportion to it. The more things are static, the more they can be modelled in ways of mathematics, which quantifies entities, phenomena and interactions. However, when Chaos is introduced, and things either lose their static and predictable nature, or free will of beings introduces new elements or alters existing ones, the deterministic and predictable quality of the Relative is lost.”, answered his Goddess.

“That is quite interesting”, Vishnu scratched his chin. “What do you think about the implications of this? Is Chaos disturbing the good quality of Order, thus breaking mathematical models and ruining something of value, or is it somehow for the good, if it is allowed to happen?” Shiva nodded in assent and looked questioningly at the women.

“We also wondered about this, and here is our preliminary analysis. It seems that neither Chaos nor Order manifest the will of the Absolute on their own and by themselves. Order would result in rigid laws that would negate all possibility of surprise, creativity or anything new, which is not the point. Also, Chaos on its own would break all good things, as well as the evil ones, indiscriminately. So, Chaos needs to disrupt just enough of Order to make things alive and fluid, while Order needs to guide Chaos in order to make it a force of creative disruption rather than pointless destruction. In both cases, mathematics breaks”, Shakti answered. “It is my hypothesis that this, in fact, is why we exist, and by ‘we’ I mean the four of us in particular. We are powerful enough to disrupt, and yet holy enough to do so in ways that actually make things better, rather than leaving a wasteland and injury. We are all different enough to have different approaches to things and different views on reality, and yet we are similar enough that neither of us would do something that would be seen by others as actually wrong. It’s always some kind of a good idea, even if it comes with initial drawbacks and issues, and we all trust each other’s judgment and cooperate. Any fight between us would be so incredibly destructive, that the entirety of Absolute’s manifestation and plan would instantly be destroyed, but that never happens, because it is not in our nature to oppose each other, but to assist”, Shakti finished.

“So, that’s what you were doing with the dress-up?”, Shiva smiled. “It looks like a very apt illustration of your argument, as you both managed something I would have deemed impossible – you made each other even more wonderful, and it’s not just appearance, because your blessings seem to have interacted synergically with each other’s souls, giving it tools and means of manifestation while in no way interfering with its nature, which was obviously the will of God. When I think of it, when Lord Vishnu interferes to save me from the consequences of some of my inopportune blessings, he is essentially manifesting a high-order dharma to cover for my error, but with implicit assumption that my undeserved gifts are something that disrupts staticity of lower-order dharma, and apparently you can’t disrupt it without occasionally getting it wrong, so my blessings are essentially brahman disrupting the order of justice with the chaotic introduction of mercy, and Sri Bhagavan’s intervention to save me is essentially brahman disrupting the undesired consequence of that with his own free will, that is a blessing of its own kind. And you ladies are definitely brahman introducing wisdom in order to teach us about our own nature, and in such a lovely and charming way”, he bowed deeply, as the girls blushed, not knowing where to look, because the Great Lord turned what started as an impersonal exercise in logical analysis into a very personal compliment, whose blessing made their very souls tingle with power of rightness, because Lord Shiva doesn’t use words idly.

Seeing their embarrassment, Vishnu wielded his power to create a distraction and introduce some levity, making a space for them to sit and have coffee, in the atmosphere of music and light. “So, what have you esteemed Lords been doing while we were gone?”, asked Lakshmi, sitting in Vishnu’s lap. “Oh, we talked about the weapons we use for fighting demonic enemies.”, he smiled. “We established that they both share the same drawbacks but manifest them in a different manner”. “So, why don’t you just use us instead of weapons? I can curse an evil soul and make it lose blessings that make existence possible. Shakti can curse them and make them lose all power. It would happen instantly and regardless of what the evil soul does”, she countered.

Vishnu and Shiva looked at each other. “That wouldn’t be fair to our poor enemies”, Shiva offered. “You Ladies are too powerful and formidable, and if you got involved, the poor demons would stand no chance, and we would have no fun hunting them down”, Vishnu nodded almost seriously, while Shakti poured them more coffee, spicing it up with some starlight.