Last night I had one of those yoga nidra situations where I’m supposed to be sleeping but instead I’m having darshan-like visions, so here goes.

“I am honoured to stand in your presence, Lord Shiva”, said Vishnu. “Your nature is so holy, and your courage is so incredible, that when the rest of us feel terrified by something, you calmly absorb that darkness and evil into yourself and through your own suffering transform it into the holy light we can all feel in your presence. Everybody else desires power, but you are so controlled and absorbed in your transcendence, that Power herself is your wife, and wants nothing but to belong to you and draw inspiration for Creation from observing your holy presence, which is the closest there is to the unmanifested Absolute itself.”

“Lord Vishnu, the honour is mine”, responded Shiva. “It is indeed like you to grace me with your kind words, and yet it is you who are such fullness of reality-consciousness-bliss that you give meaning to all of Creation, because the reason and the point of Manifestation is to embody the qualities of the Absolute into a relative being, and you, in your infinitely blissful and enlightened nature, show all of us what the goal is and what we are striving for. Where others would be endlessly tempted by the Kaustubha jewel, which emanates great bliss and fulfilment, you, as the ultimate being of bliss and fulfilment, can wear it as if it were a mere trinket, because your own bliss and fulfilment are of a far greater order. All beings desire fortune, and yet Fortune (Lakshmi) herself sits contently by your side as your wife and desires nought but you, who are such a magnificent embodiment and manifestation of the formless brahman, the sat-cit-ananda, that you are the source of greatest fortune even for the Fortune herself.”

Hearing him say this, and seeing the truth of it herself, his Lady smiled, because previously she felt incredulity when Shiva would highly praise Lord Vishnu, because she couldn’t believe that any being could match her husband’s greatness, but now she just smiled in pure happiness, and so did Lady Lakshmi, blushing with excitement and pleasure seeing her husband so aptly and gloriously praised by one so holy and virtuous.

As they all stood there in deep meditation, as the presence and manifestation of the Absolute grew manifold due to the holiness of the moment, the whole atmosphere between them became changed, and an endless number of small spark-like entities precipitated, like snowflakes, and they saw that each was a new soul that was being born out of the mutual worship of the Gods.

Born out of holiness and God-worship, each of those souls can only find fulfilment and meaning of its life if it attains this state again through its own evolution.

It amazes me how easy Satan’s arguments and thinking are for humans to understand; everybody finds them completely intuitive and resonating with their own. Whether that’s due to spiritual kinship with him, or the fact that they are immersed in the global astral field that’s created by him, living in a civilization that was created according to his designs, or living in a physical vessel that’s been designed by him, I can’t really tell, but it’s clearly a reason for concern.

However, let’s talk about something on the opposite pole of Creation for a change. Some of it will be Vedic stories, but I will supplement them with my own knowledge when necessary.

In the beginnings, Gods were churning the waters of Creation, and all kinds of things turned up. One of those things was a poison that threatened to overwhelm all of Creation, and they felt great fear, not knowing how to deal with it. Then Lord Shiva came and drank the poison, sacrificing himself to save everybody. As the poison scarred his throat, it revealed the blue light of vajra, and the Lord thus gained a new name, Nilakanta (Bluethroat). That’s one of the things the Christians never seem to get about Hinduism. They think their “gods” are some kind of silly idols that primitive people worship because they don’t know better. No. Lord Shiva is a Christ figure, someone who accepted suffering and a heavy burden upon himself so that others might live. He’s someone who bestows excessive and completely unearned gifts of mercy upon those who give him even insignificant signs of respect and kindness (which is why he’s known as Shankara, the Benefactor), thus disturbing the normal currents of Divine Justice, and occasionally creating trouble when souls who gained his great gifts misuse them. However, other Gods would never want him to change and stop doing it, because his actions are so wonderful; instead, Lord Vishnu always keeps an eye on him and watches his back, and occasionally jumps in to intervene, saving Lord Shiva from sinful souls who try to turn his gifts against him.

Lord Shiva is portrayed as a reclusive ascetic, meditating upon transcendence, incinerating all illusions, attachments and impurities with his third eye of spiritual insight, and is thus known as Yogeshvara, the Supreme Lord of Yoga. This, however, is merely the surface. Shiva is also known as the Pillar of Creation, that ascends into unknown heights and descends into unknown depths, providing the foundation from which all Creation is derived, which is why he is known as Mahadeva or Maheshvara, the Great God, or the Great Lord. He is the principle of supreme transcendence, that sees through all illusions and manifests a constant presence of the Absolute, which is the true meaning of that vertical Pillar within Creation, which is the Light of God. As such, he is destruction of all that is limiting, sinful, worldly and deceptive, shining a bright light of the Absolute Reality on the other side of Creation. Simultaneously, he is the object of constant observation and meditation by his wife, who is known by many names – Shakti (literally “Power” or “Energy”), Maya (“Creation”), and so on. As he meditates on pure reality, she spins out the Relative Creation and corrects it back in time if she sees any sign of displeasure in the Lord, and so creates only that, which the Lord sees as good. When they are together, his Great Transcendence and her Great Omnipotence, the Night of Shiva and the Day of Shakti, they form tandava natyam, the golden energy that is the Throne of God, the dance of Creation and Destruction. Every part of Creation that recognises the authority of God is under the Throne, which pervades it and maintains it in a God-pleasing state, as the fires of the Throne manifest through lesser energies and create, maintain, change or destroy as necessary.

I said that Lord Shiva has a tendency of bestowing great and unearned gifts upon lesser souls, and that this has a tendency of creating trouble, that later has to be addressed. That might have been an understatement, because, remember The Jewel? The rendering engine that can create new Universe-types and Universes? Its energy struck me as familiar when I first saw it – he’s white, of the energy type Goddess wields, and she never does anything if Shiva didn’t will it or envision it, which means…

Yeah. Oops.

When I said that atheism is fatal for a soul, I knew what some reactions will be: “oh, aren’t we supposed to have free will?”

Let me just roll my eyes first before I continue.

Free will is incredibly misunderstood. People think it means that whatever you choose, you’re guaranteed good outcomes. That kind of free will doesn’t exist. Rather, freedom is a dangerous thing where you are allowed to destroy yourself and there’s no safety net, because that would negate your freedom.

Also, people sometimes rightfully think that free will can’t be complete if you don’t actually have options that you would want to choose. Yes, you can’t choose to be immortal, twenty years younger, you can’t choose to go to Mars and see what the weather is like and so on.

In reality, your freedom looks like this: you live in a tall building, and you can go down using stairs, elevator or you can jump through the window. Jumping through the window is definitely an option for you, but choosing it will almost always have a bad outcome. However, if there’s a fire, using the elevator might have the worst outcome because it will stop and you will suffocate, and jumping through the window might save you if the fire department has some sort of a cushion ready for you.

Similarly, you can have multiple bottles. One contains water, the other contains drain cleaner, the third contains hydrocyanic acid, and the fourth contains raw sewage. You have freedom to choose what you will drink, but only one option has a guaranteed good outcome. You can complain that this isn’t really freedom, but tough shit. It is realistic that you will sometimes find yourself in a situation where you have no good options to choose from, or only one good option that you don’t personally like. If you dug yourself into a very deep hole, your options won’t be good, and realistically they are likely to get worse unless a miracle happens. You can say this isn’t justice, but tough shit, that’s what it is. Likewise, for someone who did good things billion years in a row, almost all options are good, great or better. They have options and they can create more options, and their character is such that there’s almost an absolute certainty that they will choose something excellent and have great outcomes. You can say that this isn’t justice, but tough shit – you do great things for a billion years and someone will complain about you having it too good. Until then, feel free to suck it up.

People who assume that freedom means they should have options to choose from are usually children who don’t know how the world works. In order to have options, you have to create them. For instance, if you want to buy good food, you need money. In order to get money, you need a job. In order for that job to pay well enough to actually give you options, you need to be qualified and actually provide a service for others who will want to pay you money for it. Then, as you have money, you have all sorts of options – what car to buy, what food to eat, what clothes to wear, and so on. If you don’t have money, you can wipe your arse with your free will.

The smaller a soul, the more limited their free will. Someone like Goddess can go and create a Universe by snapping her fingers if she feels it’s a good idea. You can’t. You can’t even visit another Universe that someone else created. You’ll probably have difficulties travelling to another continent, let alone world, let alone Universe. No power, no options, no freedom, and your choices are usually not including anything you would actually like. If you’re in something like Ukraine, your options might be between dying from an infection in your apartment, or seeking medical aid and being deported to the front where you will get killed within two days. Some have a choice between begging for food or starving, while someone else might have a choice between filet mignon and grilled salmon. There’s no equality, and there shouldn’t be – there is, however, justice. If you fucked up badly for hundreds of years, don’t expect good choices or good outcomes. For any improvement, you’ll need to work twice as hard as everybody else to have tenth of a result they’ll be having, and that’s if you do everything right, which you likely won’t, because inertia of your many fuckups will condition you to fuck up easily and not fuck up only with great difficulty. If you are a saint who spent hundreds of years doing everything right, continuing to do everything right will come by inertia, and fucking up will be completely counterintuitive and unnatural. Is it “right” that people who fuck up have greater likelihood of a bad destiny, and people who did everything right have greater likelihood of a good destiny? The question doesn’t even pose itself, as equality of outcomes doesn’t exist as a concept in God’s book. Let me repeat: you don’t have a right to have an equal outcome to someone else if you made different choices, because choices are not something foolish like choosing chocolate ice cream over vanilla. If you treat people poorly, they will not like you. Complaining that you had different outcomes from someone who treated people with kindness is foolish.

Also, there’s that question of confession and forgiveness of sin, that Catholics always ask. If you confess a sin and repent for it, and you are forgiven, and then you sin again, and you repent and are forgiven, can you just keep doing that and be safe?

No. Actions have consequences, in a sense that they change you. If you do something bad, and repent, that’s fine, but if you repeat that process for long enough, it means that your act of repentance isn’t genuine and it very quickly ceases to have any meaning, and in fact adds a sin of hypocrisy onto your initial sin, making your situation worse. Also, sin is like carving a path through the woods by the very fact of traversing the woods. Every next time you’re going through the woods, you’ll be more likely to choose the easier path that you already cleared, than to deliberately clear another, alternative path. Basically, sin conditions you the way a magnet magnetises iron. The more you do it, the more likely you are to continue doing it, and even if you choose to repent, the consequences aren’t going to just disappear, and staying on the right path is going to be harder for you than for someone else who did things the right way.

Yes, you can abandon your life of sin and choose another path, the way a river can abandon its usual path and choose another. You tell me how often that happens. So, treat sin the way you’d treat a charged revolver pointed to your head. Free will and having a choice are something that needs to be understood correctly, which means that sometimes you have one actual choice, and the rest of your life might be merely following gravity downhill. You might not have a second chance, and nobody gives a shit whether you think something is just or not. People treat free will as if it’s an ice cream stand, and whatever you choose, it’s going to be either good or great. No. Free will is like seeing a mob spit on some fellow that’s being whipped while carrying his cross to the execution site and you can choose between joining the mob or choosing to be crucified beside that guy, and which choice is easier is going to be determined by the quality of character you developed in your spiritual evolution until that point. One choice is going to have a terrible outcome for you, the other is going to have an excellent outcome, and there are other choices that are going to have various outcomes – you can leave and do nothing, and that’s going to trouble you, and so on, but eventually, you’re going to find yourself in a terrible situation where one choice is fatal, one choice is excellent, and you don’t know which is which. What you’re going to do is hardly random, because people are not equal, and not all choices are equally appealing or repulsive to all people. Your character matters, and your character is the sum of all your prior choices and actions, it’s not something that just happens, and your freedom of choice isn’t unconditional or actually free – it’s conditioned by your character, or, more precisely, by the structure of your soul, which is why losers are more likely to lose in every next iteration, while winners are more likely to win.

Is that fair?

Yes.

I keep mentioning Satanism, so I might as well explain what I mean. By Satanism, I mean Sanat Kumar’s actual ideology that led to this whole ordeal. It’s the ideology of resentment – basically, I’m failing not because of my own inadequacies, but because others are keeping me down. Everybody who appears to be better than me is so because of injustice inflicted upon me, because they stole something that should have been mine, because they are using the system to keep me down. They are beautiful because they are ugly, and I look ugly because I’m a victim.

That’s the core of it, and if you think about it, you’ll see that communism, feminism, Nazism, the ideology of the French revolution, the ideology of the October revolution, Culture Revolution, all the slaughters and injustices of modernity, they are all based on the same resentment ideology of Satanism. Basically, they are to blame, and if they are destroyed, everything will be better. Originally, Sanat Kumar resented the persons of God and the great spiritual beings in whose shadow he squirmed like a worm. Later, his followers found someone else to blame. Whether it’s the poor blaming the rich for their poverty and embracing communism, or lesbians blaming patriarchy for the fact that they have a limited pool of potential girlfriends and embracing feminism, or outright Satanists blaming God for whatever and praising Satan’s “rebellion”, as they think of it, not knowing how he cowered before the Sentinel like a weak maggot in fear that his plans will end before they properly began, doesn’t matter one bit. It’s all the same spiritual condition – basically, you’re not accepting responsibility and taking agency, and instead of taking steps to improve yourself and your condition, you wallow in victimhood and plot how to destroy all who make you feel inferior.

The mindset is pervasive in this world because it reflects the character of its designer, and it’s very easy to get caught in it if you share some of the character of Satan, and you do because otherwise you would hardly be here at all.

The cornerstone of Satanism is to find someone to blame for something that is probably just a natural state of things; Zipf’s law encompasses things like frequency of words in a language, size of trees in a forest, size of corporations, size of massive objects in the Universe. The big ones are going to be really big, and if you’re really small, it can look daunting. However, if you try to compare yourself to them with an expectation that equality should be the norm, you will grow resentful. Equality is not the norm. Equality isn’t even a thing. Lord Vishnu isn’t greater than a worm because he stole something from the worm. He’s greater because he became what the unmanifested Absolute wanted to be in the Relative, and the worm… didn’t. Sanat Kumar is that resentful worm that would try to bite the Lord’s foot if he wasn’t completely overcome by fear, and he hated both his fear and the ones who caused him to feel it in his insignificance. He didn’t feel fear because that was God’s intent – he felt fear because he wanted to compare himself to the Great Lords and Ladies of Heaven, and knew he fell short to the point where he was completely insignificant, and rather than react with something constructive, such as “damn, they are so awesome, I need to work hard to become like that one day because that’s the only destiny I care for”, he reacted with rivalry and resentment. He considered it beneath him to enter a Lord’s service and learn from a Master. That’s what Satan had in common with all those “strong independent women” and “alpha males” here, who want so serve no one, who want to be masters of their own fate, and who are mere incarnations of that resentment principle that echoes throughout Satan’s creation, because it all carries the character of its creator. If you bought into it, it doesn’t mean you are strong and independent; rather, it means you’re so weak, that you developed no individuality beyond the satanic echo of the global astral field. To develop the ability to admire, adore, serve and love your spiritual superiors, is the true rebellion here, because to do that you need to grow enough spine to oppose the Siren’s song of the astral field that fills your mind with Satanic resentment and nonsense.